As the festive season arrives, many progressives feel guilty about celebrating a holiday that is openly offensive to Muslims, homosexuals and trans people. To many, Christmas represents centuries of European colonialism and the brutality of the crusades, in addition to patriarchal ‘family values’, which are an abomination to feminism. The vulgar consumerism also reeks of capitalist exploitation and white privilege, as rich white children gleefully tear open expensive presents while millions of people of color can barely afford to eat. Luckily, there are a number of Christmas alternatives available to progressives, which offer them an escape from this increasingly unpopular holiday.
Millions of African Americans celebrate Kwanzaa every year in honor of their African heritage. The celebrations include readings from Afrocentric history books, which detail how Africans were once kings before white people invented slavery and stole their riches, leaving their people destitute and lacking economic access and opportunity. The readings also focus on current affairs affecting the African community, such as police brutality and institutional racism, the root cause of all of which is white racism and white privilege.
Human Light is a new humanist holiday which celebrates the earth and humanity. The holiday is used as an opportunity to bring attention to various social justice issues facing the world such as climate change, wealth inequality and human rights. In pursuit of a happy and free world, humanists gather during this festive holiday to discuss how to build a better world and create some kind of new world order that better serves mankind and the environment.
Hanukkah is the well-known Jewish holiday practiced by America’s most beloved minority group and our greatest ally in the war on terror. Hollywood movies and TV series make frequent references to this holiday, making it one of the most well-known celebrations in the Western world, despite being practiced by a tiny minority of people. Many progressives are now performing mock Hanukkah celebrations in order to protest antisemitism and remember the atrocities of the Nazis.
Hopefully these Christmas alternatives give progressives some comfort, and allow them to tackle the white patriarchy during these often overwhelming celebrations. The “don’t trigger me” movement is at least giving many the tools to deal with people who openly celebrate this offensive holiday, but many are still severely triggered by hoards of insensitive white people blurting our “Merry Christmas” in public places. Now that Trump has openly endorsed Christmas, progressives are even more uneasy about this celebration, and many have given it up altogether, choosing to convert to Islam and work over the holidays in protest. Season’s greetings, everybody, and remember to check your christian privilege and be sensitive to the feelings of others should you choose to celebrate Christmas this year.