Protecting The Innocent: Make Haters Wear Badges

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Here we are in the present year, and womyn, People of Color, and LGBGTQ folk are still having to endure alt-Right HATRED!

Fake news, misogyny, racism, transphobia, the deliberate conflation of beautiful leftist ideals with the ugly dogmas of National Socialism… at any moment, a normal person (ie. Hillary supporter) could be subjected to hate speech. At present, there is no way to identify if a person is infested with hate before they open their mouths… and, by then, it’s too late! The victim is triggered, or – even worse – infected – before they can put their fingers in their ears and say “la la la la la!”.

Well, we have a government for a reason, and a constitution that protects our rights, so I am going to exercise MY right to free speech by saying that alt-right haters shouldn’t be allowed to speak, or at the very least, be obliged to wear identifying marks, like badges, that identify each of their hatreds. A Confederate flag made of gold ingots for Ron Paul zealotry; Putin’s evil smirking face for Trump support; a jackbooted sandal crushing a mosque for Christians. It shouldn’t take long for our clever public servants to come up with a set of universally recognized (and reviled) hate symbols.

This would be very easy legislation to push through by our next progressive government. All they’d have to do, is go through NSA records looking for hate speech to identify alt-right bigots, and then send a team of crack SJW activists to their houses and ensure that EVERY item of clothing had all the identifying marks.

We know that EXACTLY half of all Trump voters are sinister alt-right bigots. That’s 37,947,688.5 million people! Think of the employment that badging all their garments would create. And before you ask: alt-right bigots are always harping on about “user-pays” … so why not garnish their bank accounts to pay for it? What could be more fitting (or just!) than bigots having to pay for an army of people to force them to put badges on all their clothing? An army comprising the VERY people who have been deprived of advantage by the bigots’ very own white male privilege? Sounds like “user pays” to me!

This “army” would have a name, of course; “SocialJusticeWarrior Service”, perhaps, or maybe just “SS” would be a convenient and memorable abbreviation.

In addition to badging bigots’ clothing, the SS could confiscate the guns and precious metal ingots these lunatics ALWAYS hoard. The resulting new flood of actual gold and silver into the silly physical PM market would push down their prices, thus making iPhones, and other key consumer items that rely on these useless relics, more affordable. And the SS spending their salaries would inject money into the economy, instead of sitting uselessly in the bigots’ savings accounts.

The only caveat is that after 8 years of Obama’s shrewd financial stewardship, I don’t know if the US economy actually has enough unemployed people to train up as bigot inspectors. We may have to encourage more undocumented Americans (currently born & residing overseas in places like Mexico & Guatemala) to come and sign up for the work. They would receive full government pay and pensions, of course, as this would stimulate the economy even more!

As these workers would be going straight into government employment, I don’t see why they need apply to immigrate through the usual channels; by definition, if the US government were to employ them, they’d have to be legally in the country, so why bother with the formalities?

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

yeah, wear badges for the flag, and another for #nukerussianow. I could get rich off making badges for leftists.

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MillionDollarBonus

Bill Clinton was forced to make that sign because of white privilege! This just demonstrates even more why we need to end white privilege AND the confederate flag!

trav777

Exactly like how Bill Clinton’s getting caught for violating campaign finance laws merely underscored the need for campaign finance reform!

AccreditedThinker
AccreditedThinker

This is quite, quite brilliant, MDB. I think it’s clear from xe writing style “AccreditedAggie” deserves her name.

But I don’t know if it’s absolutely foolproof; what happens if the bigot buys new clothing (or, just as likely, steals it – like everything else they “earn” – from a person of underprivilege)?

Wouldn’t a permanent mark on their skin make more sense? A tattoo, for instance, on their forehead, where it can’t be hidden?

MillionDollarBonus

That definitely makes more sense. Trump supporters should be branded like cattle, and sent to reeducation camps.

MillionDollarBonus

Great article Accredited Aggie. I want to add you as an accredited writer, but I can’t find you in the list of users! Not sure what happened.

Trump is literally Hitler, and a textbook fascist, which is why we need to label and arrest all traitorous Trumps supporters immediately. Just look at Trump’s list of policies and promises to the American people:

Building a border wall – FASCIST
Deporting undocumented Americans – FASCIST
Lowering taxes for corporations – FASCIST
Ignoring the science of climate change – FASCIST
Threatening the UN and NATO – FASCIST
Refusing to sign the TPP – FASCIST

Every single one of his policies is 100% TEXT BOOK FASCISM!! He has to be stopped NOW!!!

Pbier

Trump supporters are a bunch of Jackasses.

I suggest these clowns have a J stamped on their foreheads to recognise their jackassedness

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

#fact-check Pbier | Trump supporters are a bunch of Jackasses. | half-true | Technically, the Democrat Party symbol is the jackass, and Trump is a Republican, whose symbol is the elephant. That said, the term “jackass” also means a stupid person. Since only Trump supporters are stupid, the jackass would be a more appropriate symbol for Trump supporters.

MillionDollarBonus

I think the Democratic party needs a new symbol. Maybe something like this:

Democrat Symbol.png
AccreditedThinker

Bold, MDB. Bold.

Some alt-Right haters might object to the inclusion of the communist symbol, of course, carping on about the “hundreds of millions” of people who accidentally starved to death while their leaders tirelessly fine-tuned their economies to ever greater efficiency; but if the new Democrat symbol isn’t triggering these right-wing snowflakes… well, I say: it probably isn’t challenging enough.

MillionDollarBonus

I don’t personally believe that communism has killed many people. When I watch the history channel, all I see is the holocaust, which killed 7 million people. If this is the most important massacre in history, which takes up all media time, all school history books and all Hollywood movies focusing on modern history, then how can conservatives claim that communism supposedly killed 100’s of millions? It just doesn’t make any sense. I think they’re just lying and trying to scare us into accepting fascism.

drb6
drb6

It is clear to anyone that swastika is bad because of Nazi crimes, but red star it is completely different and wearing it on your clothing is hip and acceptable. A few tens of millions of accidental deaths in Soviet Union and China have to be blamed on capitalists, who deliberately refused to feed Ukrainians and Kazakhs in 1930’s and Chinese during the Great Leap Forward.

MillionDollarBonus

Yes exactly. Capitalists always impose sanctions on communist countries, and then claim that they failed of their own accord! Same with Venezuela who is suffering because of oil companies! Communism never fails, it is simply the repeat victim of capitalist exploitation!

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

People always mention the alleged accidental deaths in communist countries. But my question is: how many lives did communist countries SAVE? China has the highest population of any county in the world, so the answer is obviously “a lot.”

MillionDollarBonus

Good point! The agricultural and technological efficiencies of communism allowed China’s population to be the highest in the world. It’s almost TOO good for the economy, given that we need to curb world population to save the planet. This is why we need to couple communism with a one child policy. This combination is ideal for both humanity and the planet.

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

This symbol is great. I wonder if we could also add transgendered womyn of different races holding hands while wearing burkas and hijabs. That would really emphasize the communitarian aspect of the modern Democrat Party and add even more diversity to the logo.

MillionDollarBonus

Yup, we really need a team of professional artists, activists and CRT professors to work on this, and produce something that really conveys the core democratic party values.

Deplorable Hunter
Deplorable Hunter

We must get these badges before the coronation.

Stay on the lookout, they are everywhere!

http://img.memecdn.com/grammar-nazis-searching-grammar-mistakes_webm_1179877.gif

Lucky for us, Hillary and George will keep us safe!

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MillionDollarBonus

Agreed. And once we import enough La Raza Hispanics, Muslims and other people of color, they won’t be able to show their faces in public without getting attacked. We’ll also take their guns so they won’t be able to defend themselves. Finally, we’ll have a true progressive society based on peace, tolerance and diversity.

drb6
drb6

MDB, a minor edit – guns are not taken to remove their ability to defend themselves. I mean, government is here to defend all of us! Guns are taken so that they would not hurt themselves by accident.

MillionDollarBonus

Yes, you’re right I misspoke. However, part of the reason we want to ban guns is also to prevent them from getting into the hands of right wing domestic terrorists, the demographic most likely to commit crimes and acts of terrorism.

drb6
drb6

Absolutely true. I also forgot to mention that guns have to be removed because of children. Conservatives usually leave guns lying around the house and thus their and other children can easily get hold of them and hurt themselves. I suppose an alternative to gun removal would be to remove the children of conservatives to accredited, state-run orphanages.

MillionDollarBonus

True. The accredited media routinely mentions the number of children killed by guns. If this isn’t enough to convince people that guns are dangerous and need to be exclusively in the hands of the state, then I don’t know what will.

trav777

Guns are taken to prevent anyone who might be a dissenter from being able to RESIST the government.

But I say, if you’re not happy with happiness, then fuck you and die! People shouldn’t have the right to dissent and resist- these things cause strife and turmoil and trigger people. Especially when outmoded things like “reason” and “facts” are used. We hear from black leaders and feminists how these things are effectively tools of the white male patriarchy used to shape discussion and guide decisions which ALWAYS end up oppressing the disadvantaged.

Right wingers’ ability to resist freedom, tolerance, peace, and diversity must be squashed with maximum violence and prejudice. They must be tied up, chained up and FORCED to be free. Tolerance demands that their viewpoints be utterly rejected without even a passing thought. Peace demands war. Diversity demands uniformity!

WE ARE PROGRESSIVES.

vdv
vdv

Absolutely ridiculous, can’t have SJW snowflakes out badging peoples’ clothes. Global warming will melt them. AT is a devious site, trying to eliminate snowflakes, while pretending to get them employed.

#fake-news

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

#fact-check
vdv | AT is a devious site, trying to eliminate snowflakes | false | The Accredited Times is well-recognized as a respected, accredited media source. The Accredited Times supports snowflakes of all persuasions.

drb6
drb6

Since the vdv statement is false, had to flag it. How wonderful that we now have the fact-checking software which allows to justify flagging!

MillionDollarBonus

It’s a great tool for being an authority on what is true and false. Once a statement is fact-checked, its truth-value is set in stone, and can no longer be disputed. Fact-checking settles things once and for all.

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

#fact-check
AccreditedAggie |
is fronting for AccreditedNazi |
half-true |
Seeing such blatant dessication of a Confederate Flag makes me wonder if AccreditedAggie isn’t fronting for one of those Texan cowboys used to go under the name AccreditedNazi. |

#fake-news

trav777

This is fake news.

There is NO WAY POSSIBLE that someone could be an accredited writer and be “fronting” for anyone or anything.

The site SAYS “Accredited” for fuck’s sake!

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

Nobody can accuse MDB of being a wuzz about using advance technology. This TRUE/FALSE meter is totally leading edge!

MillionDollarBonus

As progressives, we are the most tech savvy people in the world. I’m proud to say that I sport an Apple watch, which alerts me every day to accredited news headlines. Conservative engineers have nothing on us.

victorshaw401k
victorshaw401k
Sound ideas as usual, MDB. The SS would be a source of inspiration and hope. The SS could also absorb the BLM movement into their ranks to cast a wider net of justice on society. Anyone with a badge of hate could be subject to a glorious golden shower of diversity at any time by SS interns. This would kick off the thoughtful idea of white reparation put forth by the UN. This plan is a wise step forward but I would even further expand the powers vested to the SS. I propose a six point plan to ensure that this quasi-agency achieves the success that it so deserves: 1: This agency/army would be created by executive order (it wouldn’t pass in a racist, Republican dominated Government). The SS can act with impunity and has immunity in all courts (both domestic and foreign). This would be recognized by the UN as an acceptable, forward-thinking world-view for other countries to emulate. There is no time to waste before the alt-right swamp creatures descend on Washington so President Obama must act swiftly. The 14th amendment would be extended in scope to recognize the authority of the SS agency itself (and SS employees). The Privileges or Immunities clause would be changed to include only SS members and associated groups that have been hurt by colonialism in any way. These victims will count for two votes apiece while the white oppressors will have their voting power cut in half in Federal and State elections. 2: They would work closely with our reliable and reputable intelligence agencies, but would be subject to no oversight. Checks and Balances are antiquated orthodoxies that were espoused by colonial, racist and misogynistic white men during a period of “Enlightenment” and have no place in modern, progressive democracy (to be elucidated upon later). The 4th amendment would be rewritten to give the SS unilateral power to search without a warrant. 3: The CIA, FBI, Pentagon, IRS, NSA and Department of Homeland Security would be fundamentally altered to be subservient to the SS in all matters (executive ordered if necessary). This helps to ensure that the character and ideals of the SS are not only spread domestically, but on an international scale as well. George Soros, and his Open Society Foundation, could help make this a reality on the international level through prudent dissemination of information by their various government allies all over the world. 4: Sensible, common sense internet regulation would be vital in order to combat fake news. This works in conjunction with my 2nd point (and your wise analysis in the article above). SS doctrine would only be disseminated through credible, independent media outlets like the Washington Post, NY Times, Accredited Times, CNN and legitimate, approved bloggers. The 1st amendment would be altered to provide freedom of press to accredited media outlets only which would serve to combat fake news and enemy propagandists and stifle white privilege. Any institution not on the accredited list will be subject to… Read more »
trav777

Why not just elect Obama as Emperor?
WTF do we need a Constitution written by dead white males for?

All it ever did was prevent blacks from voting in luminaries like Kwame Kilpatrick. Or Mugabe.

drb6
drb6

A more nuanced view is that constitution is a living document which needs to conform to the realities of today to stay relevant and accredited. That said, I think we need an accredited body of enlightened individuals which would be able to rewrite the Constitution to better represent many progressive changes in our society. One change that is urgently necessary is to extend the Presidency to 7 years and three to ten terms if President is a minority or a womyn, and for those Presidents to be able to nominate their spouses or children (biological or adopted) as their successors in holding Oval Office.

victorshaw401k
victorshaw401k

Well said! I agree with the Wilsonian assessment although I still am triggered by his racism while at Princeton. The Constitution should be more in line with Darwin than with Newton. The SS could fill the role of enlightened individuals with the sound succession plan you have outlined!

Anon
Anon

Why not call change it to President for Life?

victorshaw401k
victorshaw401k

Good thinking, Trav!

The constitution is part of the past. A past that includes some rather undesirable traits. We can’t look at the past- we must always be looking forward! Kwame could be pardoned, in a last act, by an administration that has never suffered a major scandal.

“Emperor” seriously triggers me. The title being synonymous with Imperial Western power. Law and Order, important Civil Engineering feats, a new calendar and surgical/medical advances all don’t mean as much as how much hurt they have caused. We could be living in tribal societies and instead we get skyscrapers and modernity.

I was thinking Chieftain or something along those lines.

MillionDollarBonus

Wow. That is a very comprehensive set of policy recommendations Victor. We need to get this to the president immediately before Trump’s inauguration!

Anon
Anon

In response to this portion of the article

“so I am going to exercise MY right to free speech by saying that alt-right haters shouldn’t be allowed to speak”

You do understand that this makes you sound two faced? don’t you?

I mean stating you are exercising your right in order to deprive others of that exact same right does not sound like a good a good thing

#post-truth

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