Picturing Hillary’s Stolen Inauguration

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Protesters across America are mourning Trump’s victory, and expressing their outrage at Trump’s numerous character flaws and misdeeds, which continue to amass by the day. Never before has a president been involved in so many scandals and received so much righteous criticism from the accredited media. But no matter how heinous Trump’s crimes, millions of bigoted white Americans from flyover country continue to laud him as a hero.

Now, contrast Trump’s long history of corruption and immorality to Hillary’s stellar record as a public servant. Despite many attempts to smear her campaign by the Russians and the alt right, she has come out unscathed, with a near immaculate legacy. Had it not been for our electoral college system, which is basically legalized election rigging, Hillary would now be president.

For many progressives, Trump’s victory seems like an alternate universe, and many still struggle to comprehend that he is actually president. For those who long anticipated the inauguration of our first female president, and feel that this magical moment was ripped away from them by a deplorable bigot, I have provided a transcript of what could have and should have been our presidential inauguration day.

Hillary’s Inauguration

Hillary walks out onto the stage, wearing her special all-white pant suit, looking stunning as usual, as the crowd of mostly womyn in pussy hats roars and weeps with joy. Hillary’s eyes light up with glee and she laughs uncontrollably as she greets the crowd and relishes the congratulations and compliments from the surrounding dignitaries. 

After being sworn in, Hillary shrieks with laughter and excitedly walks towards the microphone, waving to the crowd. She then opens with a croaking “Thank you … thank you so much!”, continuing to laugh as the deafening crowd dies down. She then proceeds with her inspiring and historical speech as the first womyn president of the United States.

“Firstly, I’d just like to thank my many supporters who stuck with me throughout this historic election. I couldn’t have done it without you!”

[Applause]

“But this victory wasn’t just for you. This was a victory for struggling mothers, grandmothers, daughters and womyn all over the world, with hopes and dreams just like yours. Today we have shown those womyn that with enough determination, grit and perseverance you can succeed, and your dreams can become reality!”

[Applause]

“Unfortunately however, not everyone in America feels this way. Many African Americans, Hispanic Americans, Muslim Americans and undocumented immigrants feel disillusioned in America today, and that their needs and dreams don’t matter. Let me assure those people that from this day forward, America works for you!”

[Applause]

“For too long, womyn and minorities have felt excluded and downtrodden in America, and that America has done too little to alleviate the long and terrible legacy of slavery and oppression of people of color. You deserve better!”

[Applause]

“And that’s why I have promised to make the biggest investment in the economy since World War II, creating thousands of good-paying jobs for womyn and minorities. I also pledge to make America the green energy capital of the world by investing in green technologies that fight climate change and reduce our carbon footprint. From this day forward, America will finally take climate change seriously!”

[Applause]

“I also promise to tackle the spread of fake news and disinformation on the internet which made this election one of the craziest and most confusing elections we’ve ever had. America will no longer tolerate deceptive lies and disinformation!”

[Applause]

I also promise to tackle Russian aggression and the humanitarian crisis in Syria. The victims of Russia’s unacceptable actions will no longer suffer under my administration. I promise to help the thousands of refugees fleeing Syria, and put a stop to Russia’s aggressive expansionism once and for all.”

[Applause]

“The American people spoke loud and clear during this election, and rejected the lies and hatred of the alt right. Thank you America, for putting your trust in me! I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to make this country a place that welcomes everyone and where peace, tolerance, respect and diversity are valued above all else. Thanks you, and God bless America!” 

richandrenee

Word is that Hillary is going to get a talk show – everyone knows that the real power is in the media!

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

Provided Trump doesn’t intern Lady Gaga and Madonna in a FEMALE camp, and time of Hillary’s show doesn’t clash with Super Bowl, I hope to see them as star guests on the new show.

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

Wow! What a moving Inauguration Speech! If Hillary had used a political speech writer with your talents MDB, she would have beat Trump hands down, and not spoiled that all-purpose white pant suit of hers!

vdv
vdv

Hillary soiled the white pantsuit of hers? They don’t make good quality adult diapers anymore.

#sexist

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Wow MDB, it is like Hillary was actually channeling herself through you. As I read that, I felt like I was actually standing out there among what WOULD have been crowds past the Lincoln Memorial. Not some alternate reality crowd.

I further imagine Beyonce, Madonna, Lady Gaga and other artists singing their versions of the National Anthem while we all kneel in protest.

This type of great writing demands you do a whole series. Image her speech at the “Nasty woman Ball”. The Obamas and Clintons dancing together while Jayz sings I Just Wanna Love U Give It 2 Me.

How about her first few days in office. Just think all she would have accomplished.

The grim side would be The National Guard having to come in and squash and confiscate the guns from the ALT right. Surely those sore losers would be violently protesting with their assault rifles because Trump refused to accept the results.

Ah, what could have been…

Black Lives Matter

Hillary, Michelle, Barack, and Mike Brown should be on Mount Rushmore.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

While I 100% agree with the other 3, Hillary was a bit slow to recognize same sex marriage. You also forget, She also was awful mean to Barrack in the 2008 primaries.

Pbier

This is all wonderful stuff, and helps us take our mind off nasty realities in the world of Trump…realities like the fact that the Doomsday clock has just been turned forward to TWO AND A HALF MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT!!!

In my lifetime, this rather pessimistic clock has always strangely never shown a time earlier than about ten minutes to midnight. As a youth, I used to hope we would see something much earlier like maybe HALF PAST EIGHT!!! But then Reagan would criticise the Soviets for something and it would be almost midnight again. Well, thanks to Trump we are a literal 150 seconds away from…well, something REALLY bad. We need Michael in 2020 to get back to the relative safety of 5 minutes to midnight.

Fredtoon
Fredtoon

If Trump would embrace the truth about global warming the clock would be turned back. Everyone knows global warming is more scary than nukes !

Pbier

Yes, global warming is much more terrifying than the nations’ egg timers being turned to glass through the splittting of the atom.

Alas, the clock cannot ‘be turned back’ as you put it. The Doomsday clock is a fully autonomous and self-actualising device which has a mind of its own. There are no humans behind the scenes making entirely subjective and political decisions who decide to move the clock back and forth on a whim to grab headlines. This clock must be taken seriously!

richandrenee

It is very scary seeing hard science being sidelined by right-wing mumbo-jumbo conspiracy theories.

Carbon is pure poison – Trump must accept the scientific facts!

trav777

please don’t turn this site into some AGW denying buffoonery

trav777

But if Trump is in bed with Russia, hasn’t the threat of nuclear war been taken off the table?!?!? How can the Armageddon clock move forward? What HAS moved forward is the Russia clock as they will doubtlessly now invade Europe and attack the greatest ally anyone has ever known, Israel Israel Israel.

Make my vote count
Make my vote count

Trump in not in bed with Russia. Trump paid some sexually exploited femyles to pea on a bed in Russia. The Russians have this on video.
He is now Putins puppet. Everything Trump has done so far has been at Putin’s bidding. Trump did not want to run for president. He was forced to by Putin. Trump will hand Putin our weapons to save himself from getting negative coverage in the press. Once Putin gets our weapons he will use them on the USA to get even with Hillary. That’s why Putin hacked the DNC too. Putin hates Hillary because she stopped his march through Europe. Knowing all this, I don’t know why the clock is not even closer. This makes the Cuban missile crisis look like child’s play.
Hillary and the MSM tried to warn us but no one would listen.

Sierra
Sierra

Well, I got tears in my eyes.

vdv
vdv

You missed out the hallmarks of Hillary’s inauguration, a healthy fit of continuous coughing, and epi-pen driven dance, and rolling of the eyes.

TroofSpeakah
TroofSpeakah

Just so you know, there is more than one way for the votes of illegals to be counted. Consider that California has 2.4 million illegal immigrants – and they are included in the census which determines congressional districts and electoral votes. As such, California sends at least 3 additional congressional districts to Washington because of illegals. The same goes for electoral votes.

http://www.fairus.org/issue/illegal-immigrants-distort-congressional-representation-and-federal-programs

#hate-speech

wpDiscuz