Why All Jokes Are Hate Speech And Should Be Criminalised

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  1. Joke: noun. Something said or done to provoke laughter; especially a brief oral narrative with a climactic humorous twist.

At best, jokes are fake-news, involving as they do a fictional narrative designed to ‘provoke laughter’; at worst, jokes are hate-speech, because ultimately they offend others. It is not enough to ban only those jokes which are racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic, speciesist, minor-attractedophobic, Islamophobic, antisemitic; every single joke is capable of giving offense and is therefore a self-contained criminal act that must be punished.

To prove this, we will test an apparent ‘innocuous’ joke.

Q: What do you do if you see a spaceman?

A: You park your car, man.

Notable astronauts such as Yuri Gagarin, Valentina Tereshkova, and Neil Armstrong devoted a great part of their lives to space exploration, opening new frontiers and embarking on incredible discoveries. It is therefore grotesquely offensive to their memories that we should belittle their achievements with a ‘play on words’.

Apologists for jokes contend that, if we find them ‘amusing’, it is because they always contain a grain of truth. Well, let us test this argument. The featured image above shows the fictional Star Wars character, ‘Darth Vader’, alongside a caption ‘First Black Guy To Admit He Is The Father’.

In addition to being deeply racist, the ‘amusing’ caption is simply false. We can prove this is a lie by reference to almost any person of colour. However, let’s take just two examples. Did Obama ever say he was not the father of his beautiful daughters? No! Did Malcolm X disown his progeny, Qubilah, Ilsayah, Attallah, Malaak, Gamilah Lumumba and Malikah? Once again, no! Both Obama and Malcolm X were loving and supportive fathers who would be grossly offended by the featured image.

Malcolm X – hardly alone in admitting to his fatherhood

Few things better epitomize the wretched condition of personkind than ‘humor’. All other species are content to get on with their lives without the need to raise merriment at others’ expense. When was the last time you heard a horse pass an´amusing’ comment about a fellow stallion’s girth, for example, in order to get some cheap laughs?

We need to learn from our non-human species and cut the humor from our lives. We progressives have largely done precisely this and can be proud to be devoid of all amusement.

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

Yes, if only Charlie Hebdo had cut out the humor, he would still be alive!

richandrenee

Racism is not funny!

Jim
Jim

Q. What’s the difference between a Jew and a canoe?

A. A canoe can tip.

#antisemitic

MillionDollarBonus

What is it with the antisemitism on this site lately? Why so much hatred for our Jewish brothers and sisters who built America and Europe?? The most beloved industries in the west are all dominated by Jews: the media, Hollywood, law, finance, the Federal Reserve and politics! These industries would be nowhere without Jews!

richandrenee

These are the sort of jokes that lead straight to Auschwitz.

Hate speech is not free speech!

MillionDollarBonus

Thankfully Trump hasn’t been able to have his fascist-style Muslim ban, which has been deemed to be completely illegal. Thank Allah for our legal system, which is dominated by Jews dedicated to freedom, the magna carta and the rule of law!

snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

Don’t worry, it’s coming soon to a customs near you

Davos Man
Davos Man

Jokes are a deplorable waste of time and are a form of hate speech!

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snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

How do you starve a bllack man to death?
Hide the welfare check underr his work boots
Bwahahahaha

#racist

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

That is an old joke. People of color now use EBT cards and wear Air Jordans.

Jim
Jim

Q. Why do Jews watch their porn backwards?

A. They like to see the girl give the money back.

#antisemitic

snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

How do you babysit a black child?
Lick its lips and stick it to the wall!
Bwahahahaha

#racist

MillionDollarBonus

Another superb article Pbier! Humor is another sneaky tactic of the right used to advance their hateful ideology, along with logic, evidence and reason! Hillary tried to ban all jokes about her during her campaign, but it didn’t work unfortunately and the alt right continued to invent racist “memes” like Peppe the frog and “Can’t Stump the Trump” which catapulted their vile, racist, pedophobic candidate into the white house! Humor should only be practiced by ACCREDITED comedians like John Oliver, John Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Trevor Noah, who constantly mock republicans and the right! THESE people are FUNNY and CLEVER, everyone else is lame and inappropriate and should shut up!

Black Lives Matter

Agree 100%. This is why I’m a big fan of Saturday Night Live, which is now thankfully joke-free and focuses entirely on attacking the Trump administration. I hope they hire Rosie to play Steve Bannon.

JamesB

When Obama signed the Hate Crimes Prevention Act, he empowered each and every one of us to report white people who tell racist jokes to the FBI. If the person is also found guilty of conspiracy to say the joke, they can be sentenced to life in federal prison without parole.

We do need stronger laws on the books, so that these hate mongers can be executed on the spot, but for now we need to get to work having more white people imprisoned for life. All prisons should be legally obligated to hold an equal number of all races, which means we need to arrest white people just to make quota, whether they’ve committed a crime or not.

trav777

I’m thinking of writing an AT article about the coming future of AI and even how Amazon’s Echo device (and every other one like it) is listening to (and transmitting) every single word uttered in its presence by anyone, and how when AI is delivered to consumers, it doesn’t actually live in your stupid handset, it’s a cloud service provided by a corporation that delivers a copy of the data to the NSA!

I see your AI bot as being a kind of big brother to police seditious thoughts and actions and even emotions by humans. With the government involved, we can intercept hate even before it gets started because the AI will rat you out…in fact, it won’t even do that as the thing is a shared cloud service OWNED by a corporation. It isn’t YOURS in any sense of the word. It never has any loyalty to you in any shape or form.

So, each person can have an AI assistant and “smart” devices to serve as a personal monitor, watching every move to ensure safety and compliance with appropriate thought and behavior patterns.

ALL AI services work like this…100% of them. The AI bot isn’t in your Echo, moron, it’s in Amazon’s elastic compute racks. So check your privilege before ED-209 shows up at your door because of the “jokes” you were telling that minorities don’t approve of.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

trav777 you raise something that most have not thought about. The statement “each person can have an AI assistant and “smart” devices to serve as a personal monitor, watching every move to ensure safety and compliance with appropriate thought and behavior patterns”
We need to make mandatory ownership of the Amazon Echo or Google Home. This will keep all us safe and faithful consumers. That data, coupled with the proper algorithm, will get us one step closer to capturing those committing thought crimes.
While our goal of an Orwellian society is a bit behind schedule, we stay the course.

littleshoppinlucy
littleshoppinlucy

Thank you for a very interesting article Pbier although I’m a little confused – are we still allowed to make Trump jokes?

drb6
drb6

Those are not jokes, Lucy. Everything bad we say about Trump is 110% true.

snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

Ahhhh the timeless art of hypocrisy. It is integral to the survival of unrealistic viewpoints, such as we see on this site

#hate-speech

#fake-news

drb6
drb6

Hypocrisy is Trump living in his golden towers while pretending to care about working class Americans.
Note also that “towers” rhymes with “showers”.

snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

Does Michael Moore live in the slums? Madonna? Pelosi? Sanders? Schumer? Ellison? Obama? Soros? Nope, hence the hypocrisy.
#fake-news

snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

matter of fact, wasn’t Obama out kite surfing with a billionaire recently?
#fake-news

drb6
drb6

Sanders does not live in a palace; Soros has never said that he cares about working class Americans. He cares about his progressive agenda. You are wrong again.

snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

Lmao. Did you even read the post? They have the gates locked and care nothing about you. Sanders proved he was a joke when he sold out to Hitlery and left you chumps standing at the curb. Didn’t he purchase a new lake home shortly thereafter? Soros will be imprisoned in the next 2 years, bank on it.

drb6
drb6

And Trump cares about you…give me a break! He will sell you into slavery for 140 characters

snowflakekilla
snowflakekilla

Lmao “A round of hypocrisy for me and my friends bartender!”

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

If a conservative doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one. If a liberal doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.
If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat. If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.
If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.
If a conservative doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels. Liberals demand that those they don’t like be shut down.
If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church. A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.
If a conservative decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it. A liberal demands that the rest of us pay for his

drb6
drb6

You make this sound bad!!!

Jon
Jon

Jokes hurt my feelings.

CompassionateConservative
CompassionateConservative

I truly believe that jokes are the foundation of racism, bigotry, and anti-semitism. Let’s look at one example from the past. In 1933 a lot of Germans began joking and by 1945 SIX GORILLION completely innocent Christ-killing mass-murdering bolshevik revolution leading Jewish people had been BRUTALLY DELOUSED in places like Auschwitz. These places were labor camps but as you may be well aware, manual labor to a Jewish person might as well be death so in actuality they were DEATH CAMPS.

Granted, these camps were equipped with things like movie theaters, tennis courts, swimming pools, and other luxurious 5 star accommodations, but you had to do things like fold your own towels and make your bed. That is something no Goldman Sachs or Federal Reserve chair does! This is ultimately what these sickening jokes from the alt-right lead to. WE MUST PUT A STOP TO THEM AT ONCE!

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