The race for the new chairperson of the DNC is officially underway, and the line up of talent in the nominations this year is absolutely unprecedented. Each candidate is a pioneer of social justice and passes with flying colors in the realm of identity politics, with members from almost every victim group from Muslims and the LGBTQ community to womyn and African Americans.
First up in the cards, we have the estimable Sally Boynton Brown, who sparked controversy in the right wing media and angered millions of privileged whites when she courageously claimed that her job as DNC chairwomyn would be to “shut other white people down” and make sure that ONLY people of color are heard.
Next up, we have the first ever Muslim American candidate for the DNC chairmanship, Keith Ellison. Ellison is also the first ever Muslim American congressman, and he is known for having some of the most progressive views in American politics. Another candidate, Vincent Tolliver, was outed from the DNC race for being an Uncle Tom and stating that people shouldn’t vote for Keith because Islam is against homosexuality. Not true! Keith Ellison states that Christians should support gay marriage, but criticizing Islam is Islamophobia:
Next we have Pete Buttigieg, an openly gay candidate who would no doubt do much to advance LGBTQ rights. Pete however, is a white male who served in the military, which makes him substantially less qualified than the other candidates.
Lastly, we come to the beautiful Jehmu Greene, an African American womyn and daughter of Liberian immigrants. Liberia was created many years ago by white racists as a country that allowed freed African American slaves to return to Africa. White oppression however followed them back to Liberia and wrecked their country, and Jehmu Greene symbolizes a return of the Liberians to America to end white privilege once and for all. Jehmu courageously called Tucker Carlson a “Bow-tying white boy” in reference to his white privilege, in retaliation to him criticizing Elizabeth Warren for identifying as a Native American.
The list of candidates that the DNC has put forward demonstrates just how forward thinking the Democratic party is, and just how out of touch the rest of America is. By steadfastly refusing to bend to the will of white voters in rural America, and continuing to appeal almost exclusively to the growing demographics of recent immigrants, the Democratic party is taking the long view and setting themselves up for an unbeatable winning streak starting in 2020. As whites rapidly become a minority in America, there is a bright, free and prosperous future ahead of us as the DNC’s all-star line up paves the way for progress and shows the world how it’s done. Viva la revolucion progresivo!