The Beauty And Superiority Of Modern Art

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As previously reported in the Accredited Times, we are right now living in the Greater Renaissance. Whereas previous generations were totally ignorant about so many social justice issues, this generation is fully awake, engaged, and progressively radicalised; we are passionate about creating a better world. Arguably, nothing epitomises the magnificence of this age more than modern art.

In past centuries, artists’ imaginations were severely limited; they painted, sculpted, and drew what they saw. In essence, these ‘artistic’ individuals (almost exclusively white European males) performed the function that the camera on most smartphones today provides. Some white male loser with the handle ‘Rembrandt’ (edit: or possibly ‘Vermeer’, not that it matters) painted the below portrait of a womyn he was clearly lusting after.

If this were a smartphone photo, we would probably delete it as ‘too blurred’

We do not know how many pixels this ‘Rembrandt’ or ‘Vermeer’ character was working with, but it was clearly not enough. Why not paint a womyn of color, a transgendered person or a lesbian? Rembrandt/Vermeer instead goes for the easy option: a photogenic white heterosexual girl with a pearl earring.

The wider point is that there is nothing remotely challenging, creative, or artistic about this portrait. Today’s sophisticated art enthusiast demands something which is frankly more intellectually nutritious, such as a series of blank canvases as shown below.

This is what the world would look like without people of color – mind-provoking modern art at its best

What do you see when you look at the above blank canvases? Speaking for myself, I see a world rid of evil white males. You too, huh?!

When we turn to famous sculptures, the name Michelangelo frequently comes to mind. Again, this white male is an example of an overrated individual who contributed precisely nothing to art. Here is arguably his most famous piece, La Pieta:

La Pieta: so politically incorrect, it beggars belief as well as offending our Muslim friends

Contrast Michelangelo’s amateur efforts against the creative geniuses of this age. Below we show the masterpiece which enriches the lives of San Diego citizens on a daily basis. Since various interpretations are possible of what this structure represents, it is clearly far superior to La Pieta which is a travesty that refuses to check its Christian privilege

Michelangelo never lived to see this masterpiece in San Diego, celebrating the digestion of vegan food

Finally, we show just how far our modern artists have come. Well over 3000 years ago, some Egyptian artists depicted the Queen Nefertiti as shown on the right. It’s not a bad effort to be fair, but frankly shows little imagination. We are left wondering what this ruler truly felt about LGBTQ+ issues of xer time. Xer eyes give nothing away. The modern gender neutral representation of the same individual, some 3000+ years later show just how much we have advanced. The Queen now has character, a feisty attitude, and a face which cannot hide the deep concern xe has for so many social justice causes. We can only imagine how proud modern Egyptians are of the updated Nefertiti.

If we have any issues at all with the updated Queen Nefertiti on the left, it is that xe is too white
drb6
drb6

I believe it is Johannes Vermeer, not Rembrandt who created this outdated, cheap, insignificant painting of girl with a pearl earring.

Also, spelling of Egyptian queens’ name is Nefertiti. Her depiction shows clearly that she suffers from White Privilege. Despite being born in Africa, she is shown as fairly light-skinned!

Finally, just painting a square black creates one of the seminal works of modern art as referred to by a plurality of art historians, curators, and critics:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Square_(painting).

I especially note that this is BLACK and not WHITE square.

MillionDollarBonus

I find the depiction of Nerferti as light skinned particularly offensive. This is fake history! From Afrocentric history we know that black Africans were kings and built the pyramids!

trav777

white privilege was already infecting the black Egyptians even that far back for them to portray her as light skinned and having obviously European facial structure. It’s almost as if this is a deliberate effort to conceal what would have certainly been Nubian features typical of west African blacks. This is because of the stereotyping of beauty that white publishers and media have been doing for millions of years. And slavery.

Bo Pepys
Bo Pepys

Right drb6 to lay the girl with earrings picture at Vermeer’s door. I was an art student in those heady days and studied intensely under the great master himself for all of 10 seconds. He seduced me by covering my ears with pearl earrings and telling me to STFU!

Black Lives Matter

What’s most important about art is not whether it looks like what the artist is painting or even whether it looks good. What’s most important is the SOCIAL JUSTICE MESSAGE the art is conveying. People often rebel against commands, so if you tell them, “Vote Hillary,” they may not do so. On the other hand, if you paint a picture of Hillary as the Virgin Mary with a halo over her head, or a picture of Barack Obama as the messiah, then people subconsciously form a positive association, which can then draw them to support the progressive candidate.

It’s the same as marketing a veggieburger. Yes, it tastes like crap, but it’s the only way to cut CO2.

MillionDollarBonus

Exactly, we live in a post-industrial, post-modern world, where everything is about social justice. If you listen to modern popular music for example, you will never hear anyone challenge the establishment or sing about empowering things like individualism, personal courage or family. It’s all about going to “da club”, getting high on drugs and being cool and better than everyone else without having to put any effort in.

That’s exactly the message we should be sending to young future progressives: being cool is the MOST IMPORTANT thing, and if you’re part of a victim group you don’t have to put in ANY effort because you’re already better than everyone else and owed things for free.

Do you ever see a rapper in a music video “working for” or “earning” his wealth? NO, of course you don’t, because people of color are so smart that wealth just comes to them for being cool and doing drugs. That’s why rappers are always partying non-stop in their music videos without demonstrating any work ethic. Doing drugs and having an early pregnancy is coolest thing ever!

MillionDollarBonus

The other thing I like about modern music and celebrities is that it gives the impression that progressives are the most attractive people, because many conservatives claim that there are studies showing the opposite.

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Hideous. Not even the likes of ISIS would want to destroy this.

#islamophobic

richandrenee

Wow – what a very interesting article. The so called masters mostly just painted homophobic and racist rubbish. We’ve come a long way thankfully – with great artists like Tony De Carlo depicting a much more inclusive objective reality.

http://jesusinlove.blogspot.co.nz/2012/09/tony-de-carlo-artist-affirms-gay-love.html

Van Gough
Van Gough

Well said. Primitive but modern. Truly this is some of the finest art I have ever gazed upon. I am moved and unmoved at the same time! It has depth yet is nothing…true genius.

I have to cut off my other ear now. I want to not be anything.

MillionDollarBonus

Exactly. If a piece of art promotes the patriarchy or was created by white males during a time of slavery, then it has no value, no matter what it looks like.

johnny utah
johnny utah

Why does modern Nefertiti look like a cow took a deuce on her face? Was that intentional?

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

How can there be no mention of the Arts collected by the Podesta’s?
The sculpture hanging over their stairwell inspired by Jeffery Dahmer will certainly make you stare in wonderment.

MillionDollarBonus

That’s an excellent point mmvc! I think the Podestas’ art collection is one of the finest in the business! A little avant-garde and risque for some maybe, but true works of genius to the modern art connoisseur.

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

Time will show that we are very fortunate to live in the age of one of the greatest artist of all time, George W Bush.

MillionDollarBonus

Yuck! White males are so ugly!

caw
caw
caw
caw

Modern art is truly superior, all of them listed here are definitely gender neutral. Like Hollywood movies.
Even leaders are going gender neutral, castrating themselves, and getting a couple of gold man sacs as replacement. Pretty exciting times to be in. (The Goldman Sachs joke is from Jon Stewart, during the 2008 crisis).

Bo Pepys
Bo Pepys

Thanks Pbier for this delightful AT article that took me back like nothing else down memory lane. You must find a tenured public sector job soon with more time for AT culture articles. Professor of Art History would be ideal post to give you full resources to research the material thoroughly.

MillionDollarBonus

Agreed. If a progressive intellectual is interested in something, then tax payers should be forced to pay them a generous salary and benefits to pursue this interest.

drb6
drb6

I think that just “Professor of Art History” is not progressive enough, since xer would mostly research Dead White Male Artists, who are dominating art history due to White Privilege. We should have Professor of African Lesbian Art history, so that there would be no question as to what is truly valuable art. Art museums also should be renamed in the name of progressiveness, and have most of their collections replaced by works of contemporary, minority, and gay artists. This is already happening in more advanced places:http://arts.vcu.edu/leslie-lohman-museum-of-gay-and-lesbian-art/.

As to what we should do with outdated so-called “art” produced by white males, I think burning it to generate clean electricity would be a good solution. And while we are at it, I think libraries need to be scrubbed of works of Dead White Male writers, and here again we have a possibility to generate clean, green electricity to power our electrical cars so we can drive to Exhibition of Lesbian Art.

trav777

Extreme talent.

I must confess to committing a minor crime…I purchased an unauthorized reproduction of “blank canvas” that hangs at Moma. Mind you, this is not some cheap “fake” like all of the repros out there like you might get in the gift shop of a museum. In this case, legitimate artists were hired, talented people, to mimic the originals so closely that even experienced art examiners have difficulty distinguishing the repros from the real. I was able to purchase one of a set of 13 blank canvas repros before Interpol actually seized the bulk of them. Only 4 got out, they seized and destroyed the other 9 and the art ring involved was prosecuted and jailed. I hang this work proudly in my loft and my liberal friends are simply beside themselves with envy.

MillionDollarBonus

I too have a painted wall where I live that is a poor imitation of this masterpiece.

Engelslovesyou
Engelslovesyou

The early “masters” were just working on promoting the propaganda of the rich. They said they were trying to portray human love and beauty but they were just working to lull the masses to sleep. How can one even compare a hack like Michelangelo to a true master like Mapplethorpe. This thought is preposterous.

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