Before Wikipedia was but a twinkle in Jimmy Wales and Larry Sangers’ eyes, the world relied on womyn for all knowledge and wisdom. Even today, womyn can recall facts, gestures, and all manner of things, far faster than the most powerful computers. Their memories are infinite. Womyn are by far the greater sex, which is why men around the world are increasingly identifying themselves as such.
Since time immemorial, March 8 is when we celebrate International Womyns’ Day. On this day, we also remember the disgraceful lack of equality that exists in some sections of society.
Progressive media outlets are covering the event like never before. The Guardian quotes one intrepid activist: ‘We are international, we are everywhere said Klementyna Suchanow, a Poland-based organiser of the International Women’s Strike, adding that the walkout would put governments and institutions under pressure by giving women a voice that has long been ignored. “We are an army of women across the globe and we are no longer asking to be listened to. The world is being forced to listen to us.”
Our Accredited Times journalists have been on the streets in force and can confirm that womyn are indeed ‘international’ and ‘everywhere’. Sightings have come in from places as far apart as Iceland, Sweden, Australia and even South Africa. These are not lone sightings either; often womyn have been spotted in clusters in cafes, bars, shops, hairdressers and on park benches. We can also confirm that the world is indeed being forced to listen to womyn and that they will not put up with being ignored.
Although not technically a minority, womyn have understandably chosen to identify themselves in this way. The fact that they have endured centuries of oppression by (white) men bestows minority and victim status on womyn.
Returning to the Guardian, today’s protesters are quite furious and ‘will take no more’:
“The International Women’s Strike, meanwhile, is suggesting that women “boycott local misogynists”, stop shopping, go on a sex strike, block roads and streets, and take part in marches or pickets. Women are also encouraged to leave creative and impassioned “out of office” replies, talking about why they are striking.”
Sadly, despite the call for striking in all the above activities, our reporters came back with unhappy tales of some womyn continuing to shop in mass. Traitoresses to the cause were seen exiting retail stores clutching purchased bags, candles, cushions, and even bottles of wine.
Thankfully, the sex strike is proving more successful; this may be due in part to the fact that womyn simply do not enjoy this disgusting activity. There were also certain womyn ‘blocking the roads and streets’ whilst pretending to be unable to park their cars and taking up to five minutes to do so.
Womyn of the world, we salute you on this, your special day!