The Accredited Guide To Progressive Dating


Fighting for social justice so often goes unrewarded. Though our intentions are noble and pure, we are misunderstood, criticized, denigrated, spat on and persecuted by the less enlightened in society. Alt-right bigots, for example, who treat Zero Hedge articles as Gospel and think Trump is the answer to all our problems. For these reasons, we often need a shoulder to lean on, a significant other who can help us in our daily toils. In short, the progressive needs … a personal connection.

Unfortunately, little is written in the Accredited Media about how to actually go on a “date”, and the behaviors that are expected if one is to make such social outings successful. This is the purpose of this article. Study these tips carefully and you could enjoy as strong a relationship as the couple in the featured image, or even the couple below who began to like each other a little shortly after they were introduced at their own marriage.

And your name is?

Firstly, the best way to find someone who is likely to be a good match is to register on a left-leaning/progressive dating site. You could even develop a relationship on the comments section of articles on the Daily Kos. Imagine there is an article about how evil Trump is. Someone called ‘Winnie Mandella79’ then posts a comment along the lines of ‘I f***ing hate that fascist bas***d! He makes me puke!’. This is your opportunity to reply with a witty retort that is sure to attract xer sympathy. Ignore the articles which claim that most people, whether men or women, are attracted to whites. This is a lie!

If you go the dating site route, you need to create a profile, download a photo and add some keywords so that you can be matched with someone similar. Words like LGBTQ+, SJW, Black_Lives_Matter, Hillary, genderqueer, Vegan_Pride, I_hate_trump are are all sensible suggestions to maximise the chances of the computer matching you with the person of your dreams.

Looking for love, with a whole lot to give

When you get the perfect match, it’s time to select the venue for your date. In our experience, you cannot go far wrong with a modern art museum. You can beguile your date with your intelligence as you interpret the un-interpretable.

If you can interpret this, then the world is yours and everything that is in it. And what is more, you will be a progressive my son.

Alternative first dating locations include vegan restaurants, protest marches, riots, prison visits, anti-fascist gatherings, as well as ‘just chillin’ in the hood, it’s all good bro’. You should be prepared to exchange with your date on all manner of social justice issues. Take care never to appear overbearing or judgmental EXCEPT when it comes to non-progressives and white men. You should instead show your vulnerable side, cry lots, explain how much you love REM because they never lost their values despite their incredible fame. Be sure to open up to the sexual abuse you suffered as a child at the hand of your parents/teachers/priest/au-pair/senator etc. It doesn’t really matter how much of this is actually true, it does matter that you show the depth of your feelings and your utter vulnerability.

Depending on how your first date goes, it is possible that your date would like to be intimacy-enhanced and erotically stimulated. This is all well and good, but extreme caution needs to be taken. Before any discharge is actually discharged, you will need to get your date to fill out a 12 page questionnaire that provides actual consent on all possible scenarios which could hypothetically arise over the next 5-10 minutes. Remember that she (if it is a she) ultimately has the right to withdraw consent at ANY MOMENT, potentially even many years after she signed the consent form. For this reason, it is only sensible to have a witness with you at the time of the signing of the forms. It could also be a good idea for the witness to be present at the time you consummate your date, and to confirm that all actions taken were specifically consented to in advance, as you can never be too careful.

We wish you well in your romantic endeavours.

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11 Comments on "The Accredited Guide To Progressive Dating"

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Great article Pblr. Unlike BFM I have had difficulty hooking up with a true progressive of the sex that I am attracted to.
I believe that as a white man I am at an unfair disadvantage (rightfully so I may add) in this area of actually knowing how to approach a true progressive at a rally or a sit in.
I’m set to start a correspondence course at Portland State studying gender studies with a minor in radical organizing studies.
I’m thinking this will help me to be more comfortable when talking to someone who may be wearing a pink pussy hat.
By the way Pblr would it be ok to copy that foto in the article of the true progressive man in the red shirt? I would like to put this on my next profile at new dating sites. I know it may be a bit dishonest but I feel it will increase my level of attraction and later when meeting face to face I can come up with some progressive excuse as to why the difference in being white with what appears to be a black man’s foto.
Best to all of you accredited love seekers.


Good luck with your studies rodo! Give a shout out from me to the “students for justice” club – they know me.


thanks Pblr. I assure you I will act with the utmost care. I’m very excited. I wish I could know this fine man in person.
And MDB. Sure will be happy to mention your Shout Out to the group. heck with me being able to say I avidly read your articles and comments I will probably be accepted with open arms. Could help me meet somebody of like mind as well.

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

Thanks rodo123, I have to admit that our accredited brother Abo Berete, the soon to presidente of Guinea West Africa, shared his own personal link to help me with dating. I’m sure he won’t mind if I shared it with you, so here it is and hope you find your accredited mate!!


Great article Pbier! It must be said though that ALL heterosexual sex is RAPE! A womyn reserves the right to take her rapist to court if and when she chooses, but she may decide not to out of kindness. Men are lucky they aren’t all locked up for their sexist chauvinism. Womyn also DEMAND that men pay for 100% of all dates, and in the case of marriage do AT LEAST half of the house work, even if the wife isn’t working or the husband is earning double or triple what the wife is earning. This is EQUALITY! Womyn don’t need to provide ANYTHING to men in return, ok?? This is a post-male world!

And for all the pathetic men on here who want to complain about the divorce courts favoring womyn, please save me your sob stories … nobody wants to hear your sexist bigoted views on this progressive site ok?? Grow up!


I’ve always used the 4F rule for dating, but when I hit a drought, I order up a couple ho’s. Its important to maintain PC by hiring minority ho’s at least 40% of the time.