Accredited Insights – A Day Inside The Life Of A Silverbug

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EDIT: First published in January 2014, I (Pbier) found this article to be a prescient warning for those investors who, in their ignorance and folly, choose to place their savings outside of the safety of the banking sector. There are some who, even today, claim that the gold and silver markets are ‘in a new bull’ and that ‘now is the time to buy!’ Learn from Jack Riley’s mistakes and make sure your savings are tied up in the S&P or some other ‘sure thing’ stock market.

The Accredited Times was fortunate enough to spend a day in the home of a real silverbug and get real accredited insights into this strange and mysterious cult.  Jack Riley, a 40 year old silver ‘stacker’ from Phoenix Arizona spends most of his waking hours ‘play trading’ junior silver mining stocks and ‘stacking’ silver bullion bars and coins. His family is perplexed by his fascination with the ‘precious metals’ and they struggle to understand his elaborate stories about powerful people manipulating prices and ‘stealing’ his ‘hard earned’ wealth.

Jack’s wife Marisa is sick and tired of hearing Jack’s stories about silver manipulation and desperately wants him to find a stable job and make secure investments. Every month, Jack demands that Marisa borrow more money from her parents to fund his obsession, and every month she loses more faith in his promises of future wealth.

My observations only confirm my theory that the silverbug cult is founded on nothing but extreme narcissism, selfishness and entitlement. This is a log of some of the highlights from our stay:

3:00 am:

It is three in the morning. Jack Riley lies awake, staring at the silver price on his iPad. His eyes are weary and his heart is full of dread. Jack barely glances at his wife Marisa, who lies fast asleep by his side. Every now and then however, he glances affectionately at his ‘stack’ glinting faintly in the corner of the room. “At least my ounces are still there”, he mumbles. But deep down he must know that he has lost a fortune, and what’s more he has fundamentally betrayed his wife and children.

10:00 am:

It’s ten in the morning, and Jack is only just waking up from his slumber. According to Marisa, Jack follows the same routine every morning with disturbing precision. First he stumbles out of bed and marches over to his silver stack, grunting and mumbling under his breath. He then kneels down, and proceeds to count every single silver coin and bar, not once but three times. Once he has verified the number of ounces, he gets out his notebook and writes the same pointless calculation that he writes every day:

Dollar Cost Average = $41.23 x 500 ounces + $39.20 x 700 ounces  + …

1:00 pm:

Jack sits across the desk from his accountant, still in his pajamas and looking hung over from lack of sleep.

“I know what you’re going to say”, Jack says with a smirk on his face. “My equity is down and I need to pay off my debts. Well, I ain’t selling”

The accountant looks at Jack with an annoyed expression on his face; you can tell he has had similar arguments with Jack in the past.

“The price of silver took another hit last night Jack – your equity is down by approximately 10%. In addition, your brokerage statement indicates a string of losses in silver mining stocks totaling a 30% loss in your trading equity over the last month. Jack, I don’t want to have to keep telling you this, but if you don’t start selling some of your assets and making your monthly payments, you’re going to be liable for some serious penalties.”

“You still don’t get it, do you!”, Jack laughs. “My dollar cost average is down! My average entry price is now lower than ever for both silver and my mining stocks. When silver takes off, I’m going to be rich!”

The account shrugs. “Tell that to your creditors, my job here is done.”

Jack’s accountant gets up and walks out of the door without saying goodbye. Jack sits back and mumbles to himself, “stupid sheep, he doesn’t understand sh*t”.

7:00 pm:

Marisa is furious. “Jack, would you leave that computer for two seconds and spend some time with your family for once?”

Jacks barely flinches. He is busy eyeing his third losing trade of the day. He moves his stop lower – he is not going to lose this one.

“Jack, I can’t go on like this! Look at your son and daughter, they barely see you even though you’re at home all day.”

Jack snaps: “I’m coming now damn it! Someone has to make living around here you know! Professional traders at the ‘Bullion Banks’ trade from five in the morning till late at night; if I’m going to make it as a trader, I’m going to have to make sacrifices! Why can’t you understand that?!”

Jack glances back at his screen. Silver Wheaton has taken another plunge, his stop has been hit. Jack cannot believe his eyes: he looks up and howls at the sky. “Noooooo!”

Marisa slams the office door shut and storms off.

Conclusion

Our observations gave us a frightening glance into the world of this strange narcissistic cult. It’s scary to think that a small proportion of Americans are this irresponsible with their finances and treat their families with such contempt. Let this be an example of the sick masochism that characterizes the silverbug mentality and so many other cousins of libertarianism.

You
You

Then you dropped your crack pipe.

MillionDollarBonus_

I find your vulgar language appalling. This is an accredited news outlet and tasteless language like that will simply not be tolerated here.

trav777

This story would have been far more realistic if it’d had a protagonist named TMosely. And it should be “silver to $60 by next week”

tmosley
tmosley

Still crying about your loss, eh Trav?

m.m.muh white pride…muh white power!

Honestly surprised you didn’t kill yourself. You are really pathetic to still be talking about me years later. Get over it and get on with your life, ffs.

Clive Kincaid
Clive Kincaid

Trav . . . I can’t believe you are still around. Really miss your posts at ZH. I also cannot believe this has been going on now for 5 years and counting. All the best to you.

HughJ
HughJ

ROFL….Good day sir, Johnson show this man the door!

Ban KKiller

Dollars are so much better to invest in, right? Fiat currencies are so much better to invest in. See Argentina, Venezuela, etc. Silver and gold are not money and are just relics. Those folks in India and China are so short sighted…Right? I mean they don’t know anything about history do they? American empire and petrodollar will last for ever!

MillionDollarBonus_

The dollar is our national currency. To compare an official currency with a shiny metal just doesn’t make any sense. I strongly suggest that you learn some economics before making such bold claims.

asgagh
asgagh

Wow, and people listen to your shit? Listen here kiddo, the fiat currency experiment is less than a century old, gold and silver have been money or currency for thousands of years. I do not know how much you get to peddle this nonsense, but you are not doing a very good job. That story was such nonsense that a child can see through it. Telling others to learn economics when you do not understand something as fundamental as money. Take a good look into the history of money and you will see exactly what a child you sound like. Also since I am most certainly never coming back to this looney toon website again, if anyone wants to silence this clown, just ask him to explain the history and factual formation of paper currency.
Cheers

Rob
Rob

he’s being sarcastic the whole spil is sarcasm

Kaboom
Kaboom

Ban, you do realise that the United States dollar is KING in “Argentina, Venezuela etc.”?

The US$ is the currency of choice for everybody, for good reason – it is the ultimate store of value, means of exchange, and the best means of calibrating value during currency fluctuations in inferior script.

Are you one of these Peak-Oil deniers? Of course the petrodollar is going to last forever – ESPECIALLY in Venezuela, where they have shit-loads! Remember, His Glorious Highness President Hugo Chavez (may God rest his Glorious soul!) exported cheap oil for the betterment of poor folk in the USA.

As MDB said, learn your economics before you seriously beclown yourself.

happy stacker
happy stacker

Million Dollar Bonus ; I would love to do some FX swaps with you, Reals ,Rands ,Rupees. Not your cup of tea ?? How about some Twit/ Face/coin CDS’s ?????? FUCKING MORON !!! PM’s are insurance. Your house will probably never burn to the ground but if you have any money to buy it you have fire insurance right ?? Never mind you are a fucking paid troll or just fucking stupid.
Crap website with crap insight , ohhhh but its accredited !!

Marv N Gardenz (@Marv_N_Gardenz)

Got to be a fiction compilation of loser mentalities, “Jack”ass in the story is a collector if he averages $41.00 per ounce cost. None who invest paid that much of a premium on silver coin.

ok
ok

Accredited writers don’t misspell Melissa

welfareftw

malisa, marisa, melissa…. how many fuckin naggin wives does our silverbug have? 🙂

PhoneStar
PhoneStar

Silver and precious metals have been made obsolete by technology.

BITCOIN is where its at. Bitcoin is secure. Bitcoin is stateless. Bitcoin is the future!

Nick O'Teen
Nick O'Teen

Guess I better hurry up and sell my gold and silver coins now for the glorious $…. this story is so stupid….yes, I am buying mining stocks as well at this moment…love these bargain prices

Nick O'Teen
Nick O'Teen

….and bitcoin too!

Balanced Integer
Balanced Integer

Keep on trollin’ ’em MDB. This story and the comments section had me rolling. +1

stacker extreme
stacker extreme

Another great post. Need MOAR!

The World Complex (@TheWorldComplex)

I’m a little disappointed you haven’t kept this going. . .

Bigduke6
Bigduke6

This just rings so true for me.
I was once a stacker and wasted my family’s savings on metal egged on by the cheese pope powers that be who have taken over ZH.
Even now their ads for Thai and Russian female slaves tempt me even though I now have no money left to sign up… I mean buy them.
Keep posting MDB to save the sheep on ZH.

LuciferBernanke

lmao this is a satire blog, has to be

Cross
Cross

cross-disciplinary polymorphic analysis made possible by fusion of data and analytical systems will solve your problem of attribution!

jd
jd

Funny stuff. MDB pulled a lot of donkey’s tails at z/h.

mudturtle

test

mudturtle

My daughter got married and of course I was to fund the whole Bacchanal.
I used 100 oz silver bars that I gave to her to do it. At that time slAg was 35.00/oz on the doorstops that I bought at 4.715/oz delivered. I gave eight bars to cover it and to pay for honeymoon, etc. My net was 3772.00 and she realized 28,000. I was slow to bail from the bubllelicious 45+, but did ok.
She was almost stupid enough to want to keep the englehards and borrow against them to pay the bills. I blew up and withdrew the entire offer if she did not spend it when it was still worth what “stackers” were still paying.
All lived happily ever after excepting the dopes that bought the slAg at such a high price. 4.715*5000 oz= 50 doorstops@471.50 each. I wish that I had dumped all of that junk when it was over 4000/doorstop.
Now I am going to cast the remainder into Barbie Dolls once I get the foundry techniques settled.
MDB is a Light unto the World with his inspirational observations on the present condition. Heed the wisdom of the great Seer.

mudturtle

Zero Hedge has fallen dramatically from 2010 when they were the tops in breaking news of real importance. Nowadays it is a =n old folks home for “stackers” that rely upon the total faith that they swallow from truly silly sites such as Willie and that ilk. How far the mighty have fallen. There is no other site that has lost so much of the promise of what it was in inception.

mudturtle

Then there is Trav that has descended into irrelevancy since being such a humorous shit-stirrer on ZH until the new deadheads took over the site and booted him off. The past three years have progressively deteriorated.

Tabitha

Hello admin do you need unlimited content for your website ?
What if you could copy post from other pages, make it pass copyscape test and publish on your page – i know the right tool for
you, just search in google:
Loimqua’s article tool

francis_sawyer

Excellent
Here in Asia I can tell you this almost all have 5 tael kept at home, not too much gold, but enough to be ready to flee in an emergency, and in the past 5,000 years there have been many emergency.
When I ask most ‘rich’ Asian investors “why you not invest in gold”, they always reply “It goes down, more than up”. Some +90% of worlds fortunes are made in real-estate, same west & east.
Silver? If you gave silver to your Asian gal, you would never get laid again in your life.
ZeroHedge? I would say it always sucked, and now it sucks even more, ‘fight club’ my ass, its a place for pussy’s like Brandon, or Cog-Diss, or Two-Minds, or Kunstler, all Pussy’s.

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