How To Make Facebook Even More Progressive

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When your day is long
And the night
The night is yours alone
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
Of this life
Well hang on
Don’t let yourself go
‘Cause everybody cries
And everybody hurts sometimes

R.E.M. – ‘Everyobody Hurts’

We have tremendous respect for Facebook as a progressive institution. Firstly, it was way ahead of the social media pack in giving users a choice of 71 different genders when setting up their accounts. In hindsight, it seems outright absurd that it took so long before social media provided this option.

By recording the minutia of users’ daily lives, their interests, what they are eating for supper, and their social networks, Facebook save our intelligence agencies countless hours. In time, we hope that Facebook will augment users’ experience further by supplying them with RFID chips to be inserted under the skin. These chips will then monitor users’ precise movements, interaction with others, their emotional & health state etc. and record this information on the users’ Facebook walls. Just think of the possibilities!

Until RFID chipping is introduced, however, we have to take it on trust that Facebook users are entirely trustful about their lives. In a great many cases, it seems that Facebook users grossly exaggerate just how wonderful their marriage/relationship is, the incredible holiday they are on/have been on, the success they and their families are having at work, and indeed in all aspects of their lives.

As a progressive, I have to doubt the sincerity of these accounts. They certainly do not reflect my own life experiences nor, I suspect, yours.

If you are like me, most of your waking hours are spent attending LGBTQ+ rallies, cooking tofu, watching the second hand of the clock move slowly but surely around the dial knowing revolution could happen at any moment, screaming at the TV screen every time Donald Trump’s face appears, bubbling warm soft tears when Hillary is shown, writing sanctimonious comments on sites such as The Guardian in order to belittle our right-wing opponents and show just what a Good Person I am. I have no holidays to speak of, unless of course you count my recent fact finding trips to Venezuela and North Korea to learn what true success is. That in short is what my Facebook wall would look like.

As it is Facebook provides an unrealistically upbeat reflection of its users lives. This is wrong! As progressive band R.E.M. so wisely sung: ‘Cause everybody cries…And everybody hurts sometimes

I would urge fellow progressives to ensure that Facebook reflects our own sad and angry realities. We must do this until the chip comes.

Anon
Anon

I’m pretty sure this girl felt pain

http://www.nowtheendbegins.com/muslim-girl-14-was-raped-and-then-whipped-to-death/

Muslim Girl, 14, Was Raped And Then Whipped To Death

#islamophobic

trav777

I am clicking Like on you!

Don\'tyoujustloveme
Don\'tyoujustloveme

Facebook is, at present, a wonderful tool to show off your virtue. Sometimes peoples actions don’t really reflect how virtuous and progressive they are deep down inside so they really need these external mechanisms to show the world their true selves. How else could you express to the world your love of LGBQTetc unless you are able to superimpose a rainbow flag over your status. How else can you show the world you stand for all the right progressive things unless you can hate-post, ad nauseum, everything you can find negative about Trump. Facebook provides a valuable service that should be supported by the taxpayers, especially the 1%.

MillionDollarBonus

I think having a Facebook account should be required by law and it should become our global electronic identity document, requiring your address, phone numbers, thumb print and RFID chip as Pbier mentioned. This would allow the authorities to keep track of the population and reduce crime and hate speech.

Don\'tyoujustloveme
Don\'tyoujustloveme

And with the addition of 2-way video and voice recognition there will be no transgressions or recidivism. This could be the way to the Peoples Utopia that has been envisioned by so many great thinkers before us.

trav777

Alexa and Google Home are already on this!

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

I am one person with 517 facebook accounts, including a couple dozen temporarily suspended. I’m busy most days posting content by Zerohedge, Breitbart, Alex Jones and Niger Innis. I’ve got 100x more reach than AT. Eat your heart out!

#hate-speech

richandrenee

How dare you use sock-puppets for your nefarious alt-right trolling you evil bigot. An Austrian court has ruled against nasty cyber-bullies like you – and not just in Austria but worldwide. It’s only a matter of time before authorities catch up with you and shut you down.

MillionDollarBonus

I agree – it should be illegal to conceal your identity online. It’s basically fraud!

richandrenee

#OnePersonOneAccount

End CYBER-BULLYING now!!!

drb6
drb6

* Unless you promote LGBTQIAPP+++ progressive ideas. Then you can have any number of accounts you want.

MillionDollarBonus

Are you based in Russia by any chance?

richandrenee

We’ve taken a screen shot of his confession and sent it to the FBI.

Marinated Le Pen
Marinated Le Pen

Are you a right wing nationalist? Why did you not send it to the UN?

littleshoppinlucy
littleshoppinlucy

Sock-puppets are so childish hungrypirana. You need to take a good hard look at yourself and learn some liberal values or you’ll end up sad and alone like Anon 🙁

Marinated Le Pen
Marinated Le Pen

Why are you after a perfectly normal person, who is gender fluid, race fluid, and personality enhanced? He has only exercised 517 choices, when there are a lot more available to him. Give him the space to enjoy his choices, you straight white males and females.

richandrenee

PropOrNot have proven beyond a reasonable doubt that Zero Hedge is Russian propaganda MLP.

He’s guilty of spreading enemy propaganda and he should be in jail.

Marinated Le Pen
Marinated Le Pen

You still need to be dumped into a tank of 517 hungrypiranahs (each with 517 facebook accounts) for attacking a gender fluid, race fluid person from exercising his choices!

Jim
Jim

I have to agree with Lucy on this one hungrypirana. Using multiple sock-puppet identities doesn’t help our cause mate.

Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang

…….. …..Ha Ha Ha….hungypijama…. yous a sick-puppet… looser..

Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
Kitty Kitty Bang Bang

…..opps i ment sock-puppet… you shld get georg soros to by you a edit buttin MDB…

MillionDollarBonus

Facebook shouldn’t be allowing conservatives on its platform AT ALL! Conservatives are bigoted and hateful by definition, and we don’t have any more time for hate in this world, unless it’s hate for conservatives. Free speech was only ever supposed to apply to progressives. The founding fathers were very clear about this.

richandrenee

Conservatives are ruining the internet. The UN needs to regulate against these useful Russian idiots ASAP. Hate speech is not free speech.

Marinated Le Pen
Marinated Le Pen

Agreed, so much planning and thinking go into making a hate speech, that people ought to pay for it, not listen to it free.

Anon
Anon

I agree that they should be forced to pay

Based on that I think I can quit my day job and just spew crap online for a living.

On the other hand that would bring me to the level of Accredited Times reporters, and for some reason I just can’t see them as my peers

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