Over the years, progressives have developed a set of standard responses to pretty much everything conservatives say. These usually consist of labeling their argument with an adjective, morally shaming them, belittling them, or, when all else fails, changing the subject. By mastering these responses, skilled progressives are able to put conservatives on the back foot, and have them doubting themselves, while you sit with a smug expression on your face, tutting and rolling your eyes.
To make this easy, I’ve created a list of common conservative arguments with a valid response for each one. Learn this list of responses and you’re well on your way to becoming a savvy progressive, who simply cannot be won over with any amount of logic, reason or evidence.
Argument: Government debt is significantly harming the lives of future generations, who have no say in our political system, the very people we should be trying to protect
Response: You hate the poor
Argument: Taxing high earners at exorbitant rates reduces the incentive for people to take risks, forego short term comfort and create jobs and new products and services that improve our lives
Response: You hate the poor
Argument: Obamacare increases premiums, lowers the quality of healthcare, and caused the stock prices of the very insurance companies you hate, to rise massively
Response: You don’t want poor people to have healthcare
Argument: Raising the minimum wage removes the lower rungs of the corporate ladder for low skilled workers, making them redundant
Response: You don’t want poor people to get paid more
Argument: Communism killed hundreds of millions of people in the 20th century, dwarfing the kill count of the Nazis or any so-called fascist regimes
Response: That wasn’t real communism (if they persist, say they’re wrong and then promptly change the subject)
Argument: Gender is a biological term, measurable by observing x and y chromosomes
Response: You hate trans people
Argument: The wage gap doesn’t account for hours worked, pregnancy leave and the types of jobs women do
Response: You don’t want women to get equal pay for equal work
Argument: Black on black crime dwarfs white on black crime, so the Black Lives Matter movement should be primarily concerned with black on black crime
Response: You’re racist
With this simple yet effective set of responses, you can defeat almost any conservative in a debate and walk away with your head held high, feeling proud of yourself and morally superior. In the rare case that a conservative persists after being labeled as a bigot, promptly change the subject and launch a series of rapid fire questions back at them, designed to throw them off balance and have them gasping for air, trying to convince you of their position, rather than you having to defend your position. It’s always more effective to convince conservatives that they need to convince us that they are not bigots, than to actually make a case ourselves and defend our own positions.
So keep this handbook in your pocket wherever you go, and repeat after me:
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no conservative argument, for I have adjectives, snarky quips and rhetoric to protect me.”