It’s now well established by accredited doctors, social workers, teachers and parenting experts that it is both safe and sensible to prescribe pharmaceuticals to children who fail to conform to society’s expectations. With our perfect public schooling system, with more funding than ever, highly qualified and inspiring teachers and state of the art teaching methods that use the latest science about learning and information retention, it’s simply inconceivable that some children are still struggling to sit still during class and dedicate their full attention to the fascinating subject matter of government curriculums. Any child who fails to do so is clearly mentally ill and in serious need of treatment. And what better way to treat a mental deficiency than to ingest artificial compounds which alter our physiology, with little to no side effects?
As accredited psychiatrists continue to discover more and more mental illnesses, each treatable with a complementary range of accredited pharmaceuticals produced by philanthropic corporations like GlaxoSmithKline, an increasing number of parents are shocked to learn that their children may in fact be mentally ill. If your child is suffering from an unusual need to socialize, ask questions or engage in excessive outdoor physical activities, or lacks the ability to absorb endless amounts of trivia recited from government curriculums, then your child may be suffering from mental problems. Furthermore, if you’re feeding your child an accredited dietitian-approved low-fat diet, consisting of sweet cereals, plenty of processed grains, heat processed vegetable oils and hormone and preservative-fortified dairy products, while making sure they are not exposed to sunlight and do not ingest dangerous foods like pastured eggs and grass-fed beef, known to cause heart disease, then there is absolutely no dietary or lifestyle-related explanation for your child’s mental inadequacies. Therefore, if your child is suffering in any way from an inability to conform to our perfect schooling system, they have a serious problem and are in urgent need of treatment.
Contrary to popular belief, commonly prescribed pharmaceuticals have no significant side effects, and have no impact whatsoever on the tiny livers of children. If there were side effects worth mentioning, then doctors would make these clear and wouldn’t prescribe these pharmaceuticals so liberally. But instead they hand them out like candy. Conspiracy theorists also do a lot of damage by insinuating that the advocates of pharmaceuticals have a conflict of interest, and that the government policies, diagnoses and treatments they advocate, are supporting a billion dollar industry with deep ties to the government and accredited media. But if this were the case, we would see scary documentaries on the pharmaceutical industry. Instead though, we see documentaries investigating fraud and deception within the vitamin and supplement industries, which are now proven to be scams. There is absolutely no evidence that ingesting vitamin C, for example, has any positive effect on the functioning of your body. If it did, then wouldn’t it be recommended by doctors, who are experts at human health?
For the skeptics who say that adderall and ritalin are over-prescribed, and have serious side effects when taken long term, especially on developing children, I’m afraid the verdict is out, and scientists have thoroughly debunked these claims. The human body and mind are now so well-understood by medical researchers, that they can now claim with absolute confidence that dietary and lifestyle changes will have no predictable or significant effect on your child’s health. So you are left with only one choice – give them the artificial wonder-drugs that their bodies crave and need, and watch them transform from rowdy, uncontrollable animals into calm, well-behaved angels who are able to comply with society’s rules and follow orders with ease.