As the the world’s moral arbiter, it is America’s job to liberate countries from tyrannical regimes, particularly when it benefits our greatest ally in the whole wide world, Israel. America is the muscle of the progressive new world order, which seeks to create an egalitarian, borderless paradise on earth, run by intellectuals and social scholars of the highest caliber. After successfully liberating Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya, we now turn our attention to other countries who’s regimes pose a threat to world peace and the lives, hopes and dreams of their oppressed citizens who yearn for revolution. Below I have listed the top five countries in desperate need of liberation, and the installment of sound progressive leadership.
Putin’s regime is quite simply the greatest threat that the world has ever witnessed, and its aggressive expansionism knows no boundaries. Russia’s aggressive actions include the annexation of Crimea in response to Ukraine’s peaceful attempt to counter right-wing separatist groups, propping up Syria’s tyrannical regime, shooting down a Malaysian airways passenger jet, just for the fun of it, and taunting Europe with blatant militaristic displays such as attempting to refuel a naval ship in Spain. And as if that isn’t enough, Putin has now launched all-out cyber warfare against the American people, while simultaneously oppressing the LBGTQ+ community. It’s high time that Putin was taken out, and a passive, soft Russian president was installed in his place.
Syria’s brutal and sadistic regime is one of the most despicable dictatorships the world has ever witnessed. Assad was technically elected, but only by intimidating his people into voting for him. Assad literally enjoys killing his own people, particularly women, children and peaceful NGOs like the White Helmets. He gets a particular sadistic pleasure from bombing schools and hospitals, and using chemical weapons on innocent civilians. It’s time for us to liberate Syria from Assad’s psychopathic regime, and let the moderate rebels restore peace and stability to this once great nation.
Iran poses a major threat to Israel, and is therefore a sworn enemy of America. As I’ve mentioned before, my girlfriend works for Qatar Airlines, and has had to pay the price for Qatar’s inexcusable hostage deal with Iran, prompting Saudi Arabia, the epitome of morality in the Middle East, to ban them from their air space, showing the world what happens if anyone dares to make a deal with Iran. Iran needs to be liberated once and for all, and a new Israel and US-friendly regime needs to be installed, which gives no-bid contracts to trustworthy accredited oil companies like BP and Exxon Mobil.
Duterte has declared war the progressive new world order, and must therefore be destroyed. After repeatedly insulting Obama, John Kerry, China, the Rothschilds and many other elite world leaders, he has shown himself to be an enemy of world peace. Shortly after his election, ISIS mysteriously seems to be rearing its ugly head in the Philippines, almost resembling a message from Allah and spontaneous Jihad for Duterte’s sins against progressivism. Since in this case, ISIS is battling an enemy of progressivism, we shall refer to ISIS in the Philippines as “the moderate rebels” as we have done in Syria, and we wish them the best in their quest for revolution.
Although it seems odd to include the liberator itself in the list of countries in need of liberation, the USA is unfortunately suffering from a crisis of leadership. Donald Trump does not in any way represent the values and principles that America stands for, and his presidency is an abrogation of the democratic process. In today’s America, millions of undocumented American citizens live every day in fear of deportation, Muslim Americans are harassed and bullied by Islamophobes, African Americans are unjustly arrested for crimes that they did not commit, and Jewish centers suffer weekly bomb threats from white supremacists. If America is going to continue to shine as a beacon of freedom and diversity, as it did under Obama, regime change is sorely needed.