Five Countries In Urgent Need Of Liberation

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As the the world’s moral arbiter, it is America’s job to liberate countries from tyrannical regimes, particularly when it benefits our greatest ally in the whole wide world, Israel. America is the muscle of the progressive new world order, which seeks to create an egalitarian, borderless paradise on earth, run by intellectuals and social scholars of the highest caliber. After successfully liberating Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya, we now turn our attention to other countries who’s regimes pose a threat to world peace and the lives, hopes and dreams of their oppressed citizens who yearn for revolution. Below I have listed the top five countries in desperate need of liberation, and the installment of sound progressive leadership.

Russia

Putin’s regime is quite simply the greatest threat that the world has ever witnessed, and its aggressive expansionism knows no boundaries. Russia’s aggressive actions include the annexation of Crimea in response to Ukraine’s peaceful attempt to counter right-wing separatist groups, propping up Syria’s tyrannical regime, shooting down a Malaysian airways passenger jet, just for the fun of it, and taunting Europe with blatant militaristic displays such as attempting to refuel a naval ship in Spain. And as if that isn’t enough, Putin has now launched all-out cyber warfare against the American people, while simultaneously oppressing the LBGTQ+ community. It’s high time that Putin was taken out, and a passive, soft Russian president was installed in his place.

Syria

Syria’s brutal and sadistic regime is one of the most despicable dictatorships the world has ever witnessed. Assad was technically elected, but only by intimidating his people into voting for him. Assad literally enjoys killing his own people, particularly women, children and peaceful NGOs like the White Helmets. He gets a particular sadistic pleasure from bombing schools and hospitals, and using chemical weapons on innocent civilians. It’s time for us to liberate Syria from Assad’s psychopathic regime, and let the moderate rebels restore peace and stability to this once great nation.

Iran

Iran poses a major threat to Israel, and is therefore a sworn enemy of America. As I’ve mentioned before, my girlfriend works for Qatar Airlines, and has had to pay the price for Qatar’s inexcusable hostage deal with Iran, prompting Saudi Arabia, the epitome of morality in the Middle East, to ban them from their air space, showing the world what happens if anyone dares to make a deal with Iran. Iran needs to be liberated once and for all, and a new Israel and US-friendly regime needs to be installed, which gives no-bid contracts to trustworthy accredited oil companies like BP and Exxon Mobil.

The Philippines

Duterte has declared war the progressive new world order, and must therefore be destroyed. After repeatedly insulting Obama, John Kerry, China, the Rothschilds and many other elite world leaders, he has shown himself to be an enemy of world peace. Shortly after his election, ISIS mysteriously seems to be rearing its ugly head in the Philippines, almost resembling a message from Allah and spontaneous Jihad for Duterte’s sins against progressivism. Since in this case, ISIS is battling an enemy of progressivism, we shall refer to ISIS in the Philippines as “the moderate rebels” as we have done in Syria, and we wish them the best in their quest for revolution.

The USA

Although it seems odd to include the liberator itself in the list of countries in need of liberation, the USA is unfortunately suffering from a crisis of leadership. Donald Trump does not in any way represent the values and principles that America stands for, and his presidency is an abrogation of the democratic process. In today’s America, millions of undocumented American citizens live every day in fear of deportation, Muslim Americans are harassed and bullied by Islamophobes, African Americans are unjustly arrested for crimes that they did not commit, and Jewish centers suffer weekly bomb threats from white supremacists. If America is going to continue to shine as a beacon of freedom and diversity, as it did under Obama, regime change is sorely needed.

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter
By Gary Brecher FRESNO – I’ve written a little about some of the great military figures Liberia has given the world, like General Butt Naked and his platinum-blonde drag queen psycho killers. But I’ve never told the hilarious, totally sick story of how Liberia got the way it is. And it’s too interesting to hold back any longer. Liberian history is supposedly “tragic,” which is newspaper code for “funny as Hell.” I can’t help it, it is. It’s not like I don’t sympathize. I do. I mean, which slum did your grandparents come from? Probably some starved village where the coal mine’s been closed since it ate a whole shift of locals. How’d you like it if everybody in your neighborhood took up a collection to send you back there, even if you didn’t speak a word of the language? “We feel you don’t fit in in Santa Barbara and you’ll never be truly happy until you’re back in Lower Slobovia:” That’s how Liberia started. It was white people’s idea from the start. They were worried about free blacks, who made up about a tenth of the 2 million black people in the US. The two extremes of the slavery issue, abolitionists and crazy slaveowners, agreed something had to be done about all those free blacks. The abolitionists loved black people so much they wanted them to go far, far away. So did the slaveowners, who announced with no evidence at all that free blacks were “promoters of mischief.” (I don’t know what “mischief” means–maybe they TP’d those Gone With the Wind plantation houses.) A group of rich white do-gooders including Francis Scott Key, who wrote “the Star Spangled Banner,” got together to raise the money to send free blacks back to Africa. For them Key had a special version of the anthem: “Oh say can you see/the home of the brave? If so, you’re standing too close/Go about 4000 miles southeast, to West Africaaaa.” Congress came through with a big grant and in 1819, a ship with 88 freed blacks and three white chaperons landed in that other success-story for re-planting blacks, Sierra Leone. After gassing up at Freetown, they headed down the coast to the promised land, Liberia. Within three weeks of arriving at their new home, all three whites and 22 blacks died of fever. That’s barely time to start naming things “free-” this and “free-that. Instead they named the place “Perseverance.” A little truth in advertising. The rich whites sitting home safe in the US were determined to persevere in Liberia, even if it meant shipping every black they could catch straight into the most disease-ridden, lethal climate in the world. They worked a deal with the US Navy that any slave ships intercepted on the high seas would be detoured to Liberia an dump their cargo there, which meant that no matter how many colonists died, more were always on the way. It was like a do-gooder version of Darwin, only sped up. Most of… Read more »
trav777

I will propose a minor correction- Putin did not annex Crimea, he accepted the retrocession of Crimea back into Russia following a massive referendum on the matter initiated by Crimeans.

This type of BLATANT aggression by Russia cannot stand and we should not stand for it. No nation should be allowed to thwart the will of democracy like this. We justly sanctioned Russia economically, but this was clearly nowhere near enough.

#NukeRussiaNow.

Black Lives Matter

#NukeRussiaNow

#ImpeachTrumpNow

WhiteRussia
WhiteRussia

i ainT too worried about Russia. Russia is white and will persevere. The other countries in the article are non-white, and they do indeed need to be liberated!

#racist

Black Lives Matter

Dear Cracker,

If Russia’s whiteness made it so great, then why has Russia devolved from being a COMMUNIST SUPERPOWER under great leaders like Lenin and Stalin to being a CORRUPT TRAINWRECK under capitalists Boris Yeltsin and Mad Vlad Putin? People are literally STARVING in Russia now, and the LGBT+ community is in HIDING because of capitalist anti-gay terrorism. Why do they suffer? WHITE GREED. I recall the images from the late 1980s and early 1990s vividly. Greedy white Russians fell for the white man’s propaganda and eagerly sought out Levi’s blue jeans, Billy Joel tapes, and McDonald’s. They now have their Levi’s, crappy white music, and Big Macs. But no one told them that they traded away their freedom and a clean environment in a communist paradise for cheap capitalist wares.

In contrast, look at the great Republic of Zimbabwe. The average Zimbabwean is a TRILLIONAIRE thanks to the progressive policies of the communist African leadership. The difference: Russia is a white hellhole while Zimbabwe is a BLACK paradise.

#accredited-times-pick

Pbier

The All Blacks right now have their hands full dealing with Lions. After that you can send them to Africa.

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