Conservative Heroes

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WASHINGTON, D.C. (Accredited Times) – Here at the Accredited Times, we support progress. And, by progress, we mean liberalism, by which we mean socialism, by which we mean communism.

Confused? Well, it’s not so terribly confusing. You see, conservatives have long demonized our philosophy, so we have had to change labels constantly to make our philosophy more palatable. We do this quite often. For example, originally the Biblical term “Sodomite” referred to the LGBTQQIAPABCDEFG+ community; then we changed the term to the more scientific “homosexual”; then we changed the term to “gay” (meaning “joyous”); then, after young people started using the term “gay” as an insult, we started using “LGBT”; then we added new letters and the plus sign to make it more difficult for anyone to insult the LGBTQQIAPABCDEFG+ community. Try saying, “Dude, that is so LGBTQQIAPABCDEFG+!”  LOL, not going to happen.

Communism has long been unpopular for reasons that escape us at the Accredited Times. Why wouldn’t people want free housing, healthcare, food, and water AND equality? Granted, slaves had these things as well, and communism basically makes everyone a slave to the state, but communism is very different from private chattel slavery. The main difference is that government is run by people who care, like Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama, whereas private businesses are run by evil people motivated by profit. The difference is crystal clear when one compares communist paradises, like the Soviet Union, North Korea, and Venezuela, to evil capitalist countries, like Switzerland or South Korea.  Where would you rather live?

Fortunately, notwithstanding the unpopularity of our ideology, many conservatives in government and the media have set aside their differences to help us implement our common-sense philosophy, at least on a case-by-case basis. These conservatives have done everything they can to attack Trump and investigate him for his collusion with Russia, thereby blocking Trump from rolling back the clock on progress. In light of their contributions, today I just wanted to give a shout-out to many of the “conservative heroes” who have done everything they can to tear down the orange tyrant:

  • Bill Kristol: Kristol can perhaps be described as the leader of the #NeverTrump movement. Kristol was instrumental in launching the candidacy of #NeverTrumper Evan McMullin (a.k.a., Egg McMuffin). Kristol not only makes excellent prognostications on a daily basis, but he also has done everything he can to humiliate the media for their pro-Trump approach:

Kristol’s preferred candidate for President.
Kristol’s view of conservatism.
  • Ben Shapiro: Shapiro is the definition of principled.  Shapiro not only refused to support Trump, but he even quit his job at Breitbart News to protest its pro-Trump extremism.
Ben Shapiro is not only a #NeverTrumper, but is also a strong supporter of Israel.
  • Jonah Goldberg: Goldberg is a senior editor of the National Review, one of the leaders of the #NeverTrump movement. On February 15, 2016, the National Review devoted an entire issue towards tearing down Trump, entitled “Against Trump”. Many National Review editors, including Rich Lowry and David French, continue to attack Trump on a near daily basis, supporting Trump’s impeachment with citations from accredited media publications, such as the Washington Post and the New York Times.
Goldberg has been one of the world’s foremost experts in defining conservatism for the general public.
  • Mark Levin: Levin is generally unhinged and shouts too much, but we have nonetheless applauded his shouting against Donald Trump. Levin is a strong #NeverTrumper.
Mark Levin is a shouter, but we shout against Trump too!

Who are your conservative heroes? Feel free to comment in the space below!

MillionDollarBonus

Awesome article BLM! My favorite conservatives are Jeb Bush, Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio – all of whom are proven conservatives with moderate views about borders, taxes, foreign policy, the bailouts and many other issues. They use conservative language, but they are soft underneath, and pretty much agree with us progressives on everything. That’s what a REAL conservative should be like.

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

Obama is a turd that wouldn’t flush. He got a 60 million book deal, so that his fans can continue to sniff the turd.
But I like his idea of fines and jail terms for not enrolling in Obamacare. If you are going to sniff this turd, better have good health insurance.

IThinkThereforeIAm (ITTIA)
IThinkThereforeIAm (ITTIA)

Okay Anon 2.0, you’re just another racist with your hate speech. A MOC does well for himself and even becomes president, yet does he get the respect for all of his labor and hard work climbing up from the ghetto through this oppressed society? NO! He goes around the world to apologize for the likes of you and tries to mend the bridges of peace and love, while trying to make the world a better place by giving your money to the needy and you spout off about how he smells and looks like excrement. Shame on you. I bet you tried volunteering at the local dog pound to euthanize puppies with a ball bat.

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

You are confused about volunteering at the local dog pound, and volunteering for PETA. Africans may be more tuned to nature, but here in America, you are taking a big risk sniffing turd without health insurance.

Pbier

Another great article, BLM. We journalists are frequently abused by illiterates like ‘Anon’ aka Onan but I don’t get the sense it’s personal; he is still offended by the divine punishment he received for spilling his seed despite strict orders not to.

trav777

these heroes all have something in common……hmm but I’m not sure what it is

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