Why You Should Trust Your Government (Except Trump)

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President Barack Hussein Obama represents everything government service is about.


WASHINGTON, D.C. (Accredited Times) – Last night, as is my custom, I put on my favorite plaid pajamas, poured myself a mug of hot chocolate, and snuggled up to a New York Times-recommended bestseller — this time, Chelsea Clinton’s “It’s Your World: Get Informed, Get Inspired & Get Going!”. What an amazing book! “It’s Your World” had my mind racing a million miles a minute, thinking about all of the prodigious possibilities of progressive central planning and global governance.

As I read the book, I thought to myself, “Not only is it OUR WORLD, but it’s also OUR GOVERNMENT.¬†Ever since liberal Democrat Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves from Republican plantation owners, the government has been “of the people, by the people, for the people”. If it weren’t for government schools, I wouldn’t even be able to read, much less read an inspiring book by such a great leader as Chelsea Clinton or know about important historical figures like Abraham Lincoln, who led the Allies to victory against the Nazis in the Revolutionary War.

We have so much to be thankful about the government, yet all we hear about are constant complaints from the alt-right. Government provides us with almost all of life’s important products and services, including roads, food stamps, central banking, public housing, ObamaPhones, healthcare, pensions, schools, student loans, buses, subways, air traffic control, Amtrak, and, most importantly, volume after volume of laws, rules, and regulations that help protect the environment and ensure fair play. Private businesses, in contrast, provide few services and generally only do so for the rich, making products like Gucci handbags and Rolex watches for billionaires.

Chelsea Clinton and her amazing book.

One of the reasons government works so well is that it is filled with our most intelligent people, like Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, and Maxine Waters. Government bureaucrats are especially intelligent, many of them having graduated from Ivy League universities and top law schools like Harvard Law and Yale Law.

Hillary Clinton is the definition of a public servant, having given up the opportunity for profit in the private sector to serve the public. Although she initially failed to pass the D.C. Bar exam, she is exceptionally intelligent, graduating from the nation’s #1 law school, Yale Law.

We need to trust our government so that it can provide all of the products and services that we need. Unfortunately, Donald Trump has caused severe government trust issues in light of his collusion with the Russians, as proved by accredited media outlets like CNN. Nonetheless, the heroic efforts of government bureaucrats, like former CIA Director John Brennan and Acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe, have helped to restore confidence by blocking Trump’s alt-right agenda.

Trump’s efforts at creating distrust are unsurprising. The alt-right primarily exists largely because of an inability to trust. Alt-righters are generally loners who rarely interact with other people and who generally spend their time counting money, like Ebenezer Scrooge, or attending Klan rallies, like former Republican Senator Robert Byrd. These people don’t trust anyone or anything, which explains why they are so bitter and why they often face severe mental health issues. The lack of trust in government is completely delusional given the intelligence of people in government compared to that of the average citizen. Government is filled with high IQ experts who know vastly more about day-to-day life than regular civilians. Government is there to help, and the government’s guidance should always be followed, whether it’s taking prescribed pharmaceuticals or drinking medicated water. Only paranoid alt-right kooks think that their “precious bodily fluids” would ever be under assault by the government.

Thankfully, a whole generation of young people knows better. Millions of young people flocked to the campaign of democratic socialist Senator Bernie Sanders, who would have won but for the efforts of the Russians and the Republican National Committee. These young people care about important issues like climate change and Russia’s election hacking.

We desperately need hope and change. The only way we can change the world is if we put our trust in our amazing public servants to change the world for us.

trav777

Pajama Boy, as he is called, is held up as the paragon for white men to aspire to. Just leave the masculine stuff to the black men. Remember, masculinity is toxic unless you are applying it to the behaviors of a group high up on the victim pyramid.

Womyn REALLY dig a myn like pajama boy; he’s in touch with his feminine side, he asks for consent for everything, he defers to them, his very posture and manner is of submission. He’s likely vegan and carbon-neutral. That is what womyn are looking for. Remember, despite that society has changed so that womyn have a “say” in things only for the past 60 years or so (the Pill), womyn’s brains have rapidly evolved to overcome 100,000 years of evolution that made their thoughts, i mean random spontaneous emotional responses, select for Ice Age survival characteristics of high testosterone, aggression, decisiveness, and physical strength. Therefore you can and should TOTALLY trust the progressive narrative about what womyn want and especially what womyn say because womyn are entirely honest nearly 100.65% of the time. Womyn KNOW what they want through careful reflection and the weighing of various pros and cons. We know this because they tell us so and because the opposite would make them feel bad.

MillionDollarBonus

Women want sensitive men who are in touch with their feelings! Women also want to be the bread-winners while men stay at home and do the housework! They want a man like Justin Trudeau or Barrack Obama!

vacamuerta
vacamuerta

OK Anon if you are so smart lets dump you in the middle of the Congolese jungle and see how well you do catching monkeys to eat vs the supposedly ‘low IQ’ indigenous pigmies. I doubt that you would catch one – yet those folks you deem ‘unintelligent’ have done fine doing just that for millennia, and doing the low carbon thing with insect protein etc. Your ‘IQ’ canard is just a social construct to demean ‘the other’. If enough money was spent on government education all would attain the same appropriately judged standards.

#accredited-times-pick

MillionDollarBonus

This is such a wise comment – thanks vacamuerta! Also, can humans catch sticks in their mouths like dogs? No – because dogs are more intelligent at this than humans! IQ is not only racist – it’s speciesist too!

trav777

Chimps catch monkeys. Then they bring the meat to female chimps.

can we accuse them yet of sexism or rape or something? Or would that be racist?

vacamuerta
vacamuerta

We share 99.5% of our DNA with chimps. Many progressives demand that chimps be given human rights. (Chimps have been used in hideous experiments by European scientists. Chimps too deserve reparations.) To accuse chimpanzees of ‘rape culture’ when rape is endemic amongst Europeans on campus after campus shows a total lack of self awareness. Trav777 – you need to reflect, you can do better than this!.

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

Wow Dead cow, spot on +1000

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

I gather Ray Charles copy-edited this story, and Stevie Wonder fact checked.

MillionDollarBonus

Oh wow! Snuggling up with a mug hot chocolate to read Chelsea’s new book sounds like a fab idea BLM! I read a study this morning suggesting that we progressives have lower testosterone levels and higher dopamine levels than conservatives, making us the bunch of soft, idealistic wonderful human beings we are! But don’t upset us, because we will explode in a fit of uncontrollable rage!

I totally agree! Government gave us healthcare through Obamacare, before Trump took it away! Government gave us the internet! Government gave us the post office! And government gave us hard-working public school teachers, who are the most hard-working and underpaid employees in America!

Yale has also become even more prestigious thanks to diversity quotas. Just look at this erudite woman of color explain to the ignorant white male professor that culturally appropriating Halloween costumes are RACIST:

trav777

Minorities should show the evil white man the way by repudiating his culture, and reversing the appropriation of electricity, indoor plumbing, shoes, and the wheel! Return to Gaia!!!!

MillionDollarBonus

But AFRICANS invented those things!

trav777

yes, yes, good point…I was reading a history book not written by afrocentrists and I was momentarily confused.

Herdy Sheeplestein
Herdy Sheeplestein

The intentions of people in government are always for the good of the people. No one enters government service with the idea of gaining power over others or finding ways to get rich off the taxpayers (unless they are Republicans or Libertarians). This is why we should just realize and accept that the government is on our side (except Trump) and be happy and not question anything (except Republicans).

MillionDollarBonus

I agree. Progressive politicians don’t have any interests of their own. They work themselves to death to get positions of power so that they can HELP people!

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

“volume after volume of laws, rules, and regulations” should be printed on good quality toilet paper, so that people can apply the laws, daily, in their regular lives. Chelsea’s books and other NY Times best sellers should also be printed on toilet paper, imagine the kind of demand, this will generate.

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