Why The Constitution Is A Living, Breathing Document

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The U.S. Constitution.


WASHINGTON, D.C. (Accredited Times) – As rumors continue to swirl over the possible departure of Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy, Americans have increasingly woken up to the risk of yet another Donald Trump appointment to the Supreme Court.  Most Americans understand that another Trump appointment would seriously jeopardize the rights of women, minorities, gays, and members of the transpecies community (a.k.a., “furries”).  But why?  What would be so bad about another Trump appointment?

The major risk is the possibility that the Supreme Court might move away from the well-worn view of the Constitution as a “living, breathing document” and towards the mistaken view that courts should instead interpret the Constitution according to its “original intent.  Progressives have long asserted that the Constitution is a “living, breathing document”; conservatives, in contrast, like former Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, have argued that the Constitution is “dead, dead, dead”, advocating for an interpretation based on the text of the document as “originally written”.

Surprisingly, many Americans remain deeply confused about the issue.  A shocking Marist poll conducted earlier this year found that an astounding 8 in 10 Americans believe that the Supreme Court should interpret the Constitution as “originally written”, as opposed to interpreting the Constitution as a living, breathing document.

That view, however, is simply incorrect as a matter of law.  As civil rights advocates, we progressives cannot sit idly by while conservatives mislead the general public and defame the Constitution.  We need to explain to the general public why the Constitution is a living, breathing document, so progressives can arm themselves with the facts (and just the facts ma’am) and have the wherewithal to answer any future Trump appointment with a sharp rejoinder.  So, with these thoughts in mind, here are the key reasons why the Constitution is, in fact, a living, breathing document, and not “dead, dead, dead,” as former Justice Antonin Scalia maintained:

1.  The Constitution Is Filled With Bacteria, Many of Which Breathe Oxygen

Unlike the Constitution of the United Kingdom, the U.S. Constitution is written on a single piece of a paper — a really old, and really, really, really filthy piece of paper.  Stored in the National Archives in Washington, D.C., our heroic bureaucrats have done everything they can to keep the Constitution from decomposing and from being used as toilet paper by Trump and other Republicans.

That doesn’t mean that the Constitution is bacteria-free, however.  In fact, the Constitution is teeming with literally billions of bacteria.  According to experts, many of these bacteria qualify as “aerobes“, meaning bacteria that generally breathe oxygen in exactly the same cellular respiration process as human beings and other living organisms.  These living beings are every bit a part of the Constitution as “friendly bacteria” in our digestive tracts are part of us.  According to Pratima Bajpai’s Pulp and the Paper Industry: Microbiological Issues in Papermaking, the “main aerobic bacteria genera” in paper include Bacillus, Burkholderia, Enterobacter, Flavobacterium, Gallionella, Klebsiella, Pseudomonas, Sphaerotilus, and Thiobacillus.

Consequently, science demonstrates irrefutably that the Constitution is a living, breathing document.  The fact that conservatives would reject the scientific consensus on the Constitution is unsurprising.  Conservatives have long waged a war against science.  So next time a conservative tries to tell you that the Constitution is “dead, dead, dead”, ask them about the living Bacillus species that are part and parcel of the Constitution today.

The Constitution is teeming with aerobic bacteria and is therefore a living, breathing document.

2.  Oxygen Constantly Reacts With Cellulose Fibers In Paper, Thereby Causing The Paper Itself to “Breathe”

Even separate and apart from the bacteria living on the Constitution, the paper itself in the Constitution continually reacts with oxygen and therefore “breathes”.  Paper consists of three main components, each of which reacts with oxygen: (1) cellulose fibers, (2) lignan (a three-dimensional polymer that binds the cellulose fibers together), and (3) hemicelluloses (shorter branched carbohydrate polymers).

For example, in December 1984, Professor Brian Garston of the University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology published an article, entitled “Degradation of Cellulose by Singlet Oxygen“, explaining that singlet oxygen, a form of oxygen, has the capacity to react with, and degrade, cellulose.  Singlet oxygen is the same as ordinary oxygen (O2), except its electrons subside at higher energy states.  The chemical is constantly formed everywhere, including by high frequency photons produced by the sun and many types of common light bulbs, such as those found in the National Archives building.  Consequently, even the paper itself in the Constitution “breathes” oxygen.

Now a conservative might argue that just because the Constitution breathes, it is not necessarily alive.  But have you ever known something to breathe and yet not be alive?  No, obviously not.  So the Constitution is quite clearly both a living and breathing document.

Chemical structure of cellulose, one of the primary components of paper.

3.  New Age Theorists Have Explained That Everything Is “Alive”

The modern conservative view of the world is that we live in an uncaring “dead” universe.  Animals are to be killed and eaten; bugs are to be viciously murdered by genocidal pesticides; forests are to be clear-cut to build McMansions; and the Constitution is to be torn to shreds because it’s “dead, dead, dead”.

Not surprisingly, this view has led to worldwide poverty and an unmitigated environmental crisis.  It’s also completely wrong, as New Agers have taught us.  As New Age philosopher Alan Watts has noted:  “The so-called physical world and the so-called human body are a single process, differentiated only as the heart from the lungs or the head from the feet”.  In other words, we are the Constitution, and the Constitution is us.  We are alive, so the Constitution is alive too.

New Age girl hugging a tree.
“The whole world is alive, man”.

4.  Former African-American Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall Said That The Constitution Is a “Living Document”, So Anyone Who Disagrees Is a Racist

As the accredited media has taught us, the greatest Justice in the history of the Supreme Court was Thurgood Marshall, who was also the first African-American Justice.  Evil conservatives have criticized Marshall for supposedly being lazy because he watched soap operas during the workday and often did not bother buttoning his robe, but Justice Marshall was also a genius who argued Brown v. Board of Education, the landmark 1954 decision invalidating segregation in public schools.

In 1987, Justice Marshall delivered a lecture entitled: “The Constitution: A Living Document”.  In the lecture, Justice Marshall endorsed the “living Constitution” theory.  Therefore, anyone who opposes the “living Constitution” viewpoint is a racist.

Former Supreme Court Justice Thurgood Marshall supported a living, breathing Constitution.

5.  Progressive President and Scholar Woodrow Wilson Also Said That The Constitution is a Living Document, So Anyone Who Disagrees Is Stupid

Progressive President Woodrow Wilson also believed the Constitution to be a living, breathing document.  Wilson, the first academic to serve in the White House, served as the President of Princeton University from 1902 to 1910 before becoming Governor of New Jersey in 1911 to 1913 and President of the United States from 1913 to 1921.  Wilson was a political scientist of the keenest intellect whose doctoral dissertation, Congressional Government: A Study in American Politics, is still beloved by progressives to this day.

Like other progressives in the early 20th century, Wilson believed in Social Darwinism as the means of generating social progress.  These Social Darwinist views formed the basis for his belief in a living Constitution:

Living political constitutions must be Darwinian in structure and in practice.  Society is a living organism and must obey the laws of life, not of mechanics; it must develop.
Given Wilson’s academic credentials (PRINCETON UNIVERSITY), anyone who disagrees with Wilson is obviously a complete idiot.  Now conservatives might argue that Wilson was an open racist who cited the “living” Constitution as the legal basis for segregating the federal government.  They might also note that Wilson screened D.W. Griffth’s The Birth of a Nation, a movie about the founding of the Ku Klux Klan, in the White House and that Wilson once said: “A Negro’s place [is] in the corn field”.  But, as we already established above, anyone who disagrees with the “living, breathing Constitution” theory is a racist, so this argument is obviously invalid.
Progressive superstar President Woodrow Wilson believed in a living, breathing Constitution.

6.  The Accredited Media Has Told Us That The Constitution Is A Living, Breathing Document

Finally, we know that the Constitution is a living, breathing document because the accredited media has already told us so.  The number of articles on the subject are too numerous to mention, but just by way of example, the Huffington Post recently wrote an article entitled “[The] Constitution Is Clearly a Living Document”, scholastic superstar Cass Sunstein has similarly written a scathing critique of originalism for Bloomberg, and MSNBC has proved that President Abraham Lincoln believed in a living Constitution, thereby establishing that anyone who is against the living Constitution theory is a Confederate sympathizer and likely a supporter of the Ku Klux Klan.

According to MSNBC, Abraham Lincoln supported a living, breathing Constitution, so therefore it is the correct view.
Originalists often have firearms, smoke cigarettes, and wave the Confederate flag.

So the next time a conservative tries to argue in favor of “original intent”, let them know the real facts.  The Constitution is a living, breathing document, and anyone who disagrees is a racist idiot.

MillionDollarBonus

Wow now that’s what I call an article! Well done BLM, I wouldn’t be surprised if this piece gets you nominated for a Pulitzer! Originalists are ironically so unoriginal. We’ve heard their arguments over and over again, and everybody is sick of hearing their drivel. The founding fathers lived in a time very different from today, and the constitution simply isn’t fit for the modern world. Firearms may have been necessary when most people lived in the isolated countryside. But today we have a highly trained, be it racist, police force only a phone call away, so guns are wholly unnecessary. If we were to follow the constitution the way it was intended, we’d have to eliminate 99% of federal laws!

Jewfro
Jewfro

Can we add an amendment to the Constitution banning young Mexican men from wearing hair gel?

#racist

Pbier

Fantastic article, BLM. I’d previously overlooked the ‘living bacteria’ reasoning but now I see the wisdom in this.

Another argument goes along the same lines as ‘well, this is MY truth and it is true to me’ whereby there are no absolute truths or facts, just one person’s interpretation. Of course, if it is a progressive interpretation then it has universal application

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

Wow, people are beginning to respect used diapers and toilet papers. Bacteria have made them into living, breathing entities, more important than the constitution. And no wonder, our great leaders want to be known as ass-wipes to MIC, pharma companies, and other special interests.

Sponge Monkey
Sponge Monkey

Fantastic work BLM, well researched, accurate, and pithy. Your Constitutional scholarship must soon be noticed by great thinkers such as Rosie O’Donnell and Ellen Degeneres. I would think that you should be consulted before the next Supreme Court pick.

Green Shoots
Green Shoots

Masterful unraveling of the conservative narrative about the absolute nature of the law BLM. I fucking love science!

We are truly living in a time of advanced social organization, and the pathetic longing for self-reliance and shared civility based on mutual consideration is something to smirk and roll the eyes at!

Green Shoots
Green Shoots

Had you stayed up to date on current events by watching or reading the Accredited News channels, you’d know that Hate is not welcome anymore.

MillionDollarBonus

HATE needs to stop! Progressives are against bad things, like hate, and for good things, like love!

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

Hate can be stopped by your flagging system. But love needs physical action liking shoving things up each other’s ass, so MDB please head to your LGBTQ+ rallies.

Green Shoots
Green Shoots

BLM/MDB, thanks for having my back. I sometimes get nervous and freeze up when being savagely attacked by right-wing nutjobs, but with the progressive force at my side I’m emboldened to a raucous swagger that NO conservative can stand up to

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card for a while and i never really paid any interest to it because of my doubts. Until one
day i discovered a neighbor who has benefited from it. I inquired about The Blank ATM
Card if it works or even exist. They told me Yes and that its a card programmed for random
money withdraws without being noticed and can also be used for free online purchases of any
kind. This was shocking and i still had my doubts. Then i gave it a try and asked for the
card and agreed to their terms and conditions.. Two days later i received my card and tried
with the closest ATM machine close to me, to my greatest surprise It worked like magic. I
was able to withdraw up to $4000 . This was unbelievable and the happiest day of my life.
So far i have been able to withdraw up to $48000 without any stress of being caught. there
is no ATM MACHINES this BLANK ATM CARD CANNOT penetrate into because it have been
programmed with various tools and software. it also has a technique that makes it
impossible for the CCTV to detect you, i don’t know why i am posting this here, i just felt
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