Coming out today as Polytranspecies-Curious was one of the hardest things I have ever done. We progressives have made tremendous strides in advancing LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance, but many still pass hateful judgement on transpecies people. Whilst most corporates’ internet sites proudly display sincere diversity mission statements, they are entirely silent when it comes to ‘furry’ people.
Privileged Christians are at the head of the list of haters. They claim that their’s is a religion of love, but then invoke something called ‘natural law’. According to natural law, there exists a body of unchanging moral principles and absolute truths which govern natural (including human) behaviour. In short, under this unaccomodating religion, it is considered ‘sinful’ for people who identify as animals to have the necessary surgery.
This arcane way of thinking is totally contrary to the moral relativism inherent in Current Year, one of the key principles of which is that it is wrong to judge others. It’s also hypocritical as we’re pretty confident that the Prophet Melchizedek, one of Saint Paul’s apostles, said ‘Judge not, lest you be judged’. Frankly, if Christianity wants to be taken seriously, it needs to change its ‘dogmatic’ beliefs to keep up with the times.
This is one reason why atheists are the coolest people on Earth. As natural liberals, they totally support laissez-faire social and physical engineering. So long as there is consent and nobody gets hurt, what right does anyone have to criticise someone else’s actions?
Here is a selection of other reasons why atheism is incredibly cool:
- In debates, an as atheist, the audience will always be on your side – Pull up any You Tube debate between say professional atheist Richard Dawkins or Stephen Fry and some Christian theologian and you will notice that it always the former’s snarky one-liners which get the most applause. On the other hand, when the theologian bleats on about ‘the sacredness of life’ or ‘human dignity’, he always gets verbally abused by a hostile audience. If the theologian somehow gets the upper hand, all you need to do is shout ‘WHAT ABOUT THE CRUSADES?’ and you will be greeted by a raucous cheer to change momentum back your way. Who would want to be on the losing side?
- Atheists have a rich sense of humor and irony – In debates, Atheists are often challenged to prove that there is no God. An amusing reply is to ask the question, ‘can you prove that the Flying Spaghetti Monster does not exist?’, a reference to the pretend Pastafarian religion invented by Bobby Henderson. Like a fine wine, this joke only improves with age (and repetition).
- Most college professors are atheists – earn extra marks by making snide comments about Christians in your exam papers and essays.
- Anti-establishment – atheists are about as edgy and anti-establishment are they come. Go on, rebel, and wear a collander on your head in a reference to pastafarianism – like the chap in the featured image.
- Comment forums – Somewhat paradoxically, like the cool kids smoking behind the bike-shed, atheists like to hang out in their hundreds under articles with even the slightest reference to God. Their comments are incredibly funny, well-researched and demonstrate deep scriptural knowledge.
- Atheists are much smarter than believers – Throughout history, almost all famous scientists, philosophers and inventors were atheists. Without their insights and putting everything to ’empirical proof’, where would we be. Occasionally, something weird happens in the world which can’t be properly explained such as this. However, moving swiflty on, it is a fact that believers basically lack intelligence.