Since the birth of time, parents have wrongly assumed that their progeny should go through what is commonly referred to as ‘childhood’. UNICEF helpfully defines childhood as:
“...the time for children to be in school and at play, to grow strong and confident with the love and encouragement of their family and an extended community of caring adults. It is a precious time in which children should live free from fear, safe from violence and protected from abuse and exploitation. As such, childhood means much more than just the space between birth and the attainment of adulthood. It refers to the state and condition of a child’s life, to the quality of those years.”
It is said by privileged Christians that Satan will get people to believe and accept a lie by including 99 truthful things in any given statement/writing – alongside the lie. So it is with UNICEF’S definition of what childhood means.
The truth is that ‘childhood’ – as we understand it in the West – is the worst form of child abuse there is. During most traditional ‘childhoods’, children are taught that:
- A fat bearded white man will ‘come down the chimney’ on December 25th and deliver plastic consumable goods (a whopping lie, since he does not exist and nor does the ‘chimney’)
- When they lose their first tooth, a ‘fairy’ (grossly offensive to the LGBTQ+ community) will steal this tooth from under the pillow and make reparations of only a few cents or dollar at tops (another whopping lie, since fairies do not exist – at least not the ones with wings and wands)
- When they catch Mom and Dad ‘in the act’, Mom is not actually being ‘attacked’ or ‘hurt’ by Dad. The truth is that, as a woman, Mom hates sex and only goes through with the despicable act because of the patriarchy. Mom is actually being raped.
- Family is the most important thing.
- Animals can talk, dress as humans etc. Walt Disney has a lot to answer for.
This model may have worked in the ignorant past but now is the time to put an end to childish things in the name of progress. Babies and children simply do not need lying to or not being given information that they need. Our modest proposal is to eradicate ‘childhood’ altogether as it serves absolutely no purpose except to indulge the sadistic pleasures of parents and their weird lies. We propose to replace childhood with a national curriculum to apply from the first week after birth. Babies and kids need to be taught the following:
- That gender is a social construct, which is entirely fluid and which they can change at any moment
- That the Government (not the family) is the guarantor of their freedoms, rights.
- That the Government loves them. Very much.
- That it is the Federal Reserve which will pay them their pocket money from now on, and not the Bank of Mom and Dad
- That meat is murder
- That John Maynard Keynes was the greatest economist ever, and that Paul Krugman is his prophet
- That Humanism is the accredited way forward rather than Christianity
Only through these proposals can we be sure that our next generation will be fitter, happier, more productive.