Why You Should Buy An Investment Condo

36
381
If you buy an investment condo, you too can be wealthy, like this young African-American womyn.

SAN FRANCISCO (Accredited Times) – If the accredited media has taught us anything, it’s that the National Association of Realtors is the most accredited of all accredited organizations.  Every day thousands of Realtors® sell amazing properties all over America.  Along the way, Realtors® typically earn a standard 6% commission, which they earn through the hard work of escorting people through properties that they identify via Internet searches.

As we have learned from the National Association of Realtors, real estate only goes up.  Prices never go down, and it is always a good time to buy.  The best way to analyze whether a property is a great investment (as opposed to merely a good investment) is to analyze how the price has moved in recent years.  If the price has increased substantially, then you know the property is a hot ticket item and that the price will continue to increase by a lot.  Wall Street gurus call this “momentum investing”, and it the most accredited investing philosophy.  After all, imagine if you had purchased Apple stock back in the 1990s.  Look at how much the stock price has gone up since then!  At the same time, imagine if you had bought a San Francisco investment condo back in the 1990s.  You’d be rich!

Of all real estate investments, investment condos in accredited urban centers, like San Francisco, are the best investments.  If you’re like 99% of Americans, I know that you’re allergic to math, so let me run you through the calculations.  According to experts, the cost of housing construction in the United States runs about $117 per square foot, about half of which consists of materials and half of which consists of labor.  That means if you were to construct a standard 600 square foot luxury condo, the construction costs would be roughly $70,200 for the entire luxury condo.  Moreover, with 3D printing on the horizon, construction costs could soon be halved with labor costs largely dissipating.  Now, if we check San Francisco Condo Mania, an accredited investment condo website, we can see the amazing returns that investment condos have produced despite these low construction costs.  For example, luxury condos at The Harrison cost only $995,000 for a 600 square foot condo!  And that doesn’t even cover monthly condo fees or property taxes, so the real overall purchase price in terms of present value is even higher.

This beauty at 12 Santa Rosa Avenue in San Francisco can be yours for only $1.288 million.  Sotheby’s describes it as a “luxury home”, so you know it’s worth it.

I know what you’re thinking:  why are the returns so amazing on investment condos in places like San Francisco?  There are a number of reasons.

First, progressive Democrats in places like San Francisco have implemented policies that lead to skyrocketing real estate prices, thereby substantially helping our most important industry: banking.  On the one hand, San Francisco attracts hundreds of thousands of new residents through sanctuary city policies, $15 minimum wages, and generous welfare packages.  On the other hand, San Francisco essentially blocks new construction through zoning regulations and other red tape, except for politically connected accredited developers and bankers.  With increasing demand and limited supply, prices naturally increase.  This also helps to protect bankers by ensuring that loan collateral maintains its value.

Second, San Francisco’s real estate prices have increased tremendously because of the genius of marketing.  People want to live in San Francisco because it’s just so hip to live there, even though San Francisco has high taxes, high living costs, high HIV/AIDS rates, and high numbers of homeless crack addicts taking dumps in the middle of the street.  Businesses love to locate there because it’s easy to attract young and trendy college graduates from accredited universities, even as the arrivals complain that “[e]very single one of [their] coworkers are struggling” and that they have difficulties even affording groceries at accredited grocery stores, like Whole Foods.  (Fortunately, lower cost “big box” stores, like Wal-Mart, have been banned from San Francisco.)  Even Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos is a huge fan of San Francisco.  Bezos, who appeared as an extra in the recent movie Star Trek Beyond, is a huge Trekkie, and, of course, in the Star Trek universe, San Francisco is the capital of the United Federation of Planets.  San Francisco was also where the United Nations Charter was signed in 1945, which makes it even more hip and trendy.  In short, San Francisco is hip; flyover country is lame.

San Francisco now has “poop maps” to help pedestrians avoid human waste.

Third, real estate investing in a place like San Francisco is global.  Thousands of Russian mafiosos, Arab oil sheiks, and Chinese oligarchs have billions of dollars of money to launder.  What better way to launder your money than by buying investment condos in a global city, like San Francisco?  One thing I can tell you is that they’re not buying real estate in Peoria, Illinois.  They haven’t even heard of Peoria, Illinois.

Fourth, high real estate prices have essentially become a self-fulfilling prophecy as constant increases in real estate prices have caused local companies that participate in the FIRE economy to thrive (“FIRE” refers to “Finance, Insurance, and Real Estate”).  For example, Wells Fargo, a major San Francisco-based bank, has boomed, even though fraud may have played a role in its recent success.  Thankfully, Wells Fargo’s dominant beneficial owner is investor super-genius Warren Buffet, who also owns numerous media properties, so the media has happily limited its coverage on the issue.  But the point is that the FIRE economy is flourishing in places like San Francisco thanks to the FIRE economy flourishing in places like San Francisco.  Non-FIRE economic participants also thrive by latching onto the FIRE-led mania.  For example, if you want to open a business, like a restaurant or a massage parlor, why not buy San Francisco real estate?  That way, your long-term gains are assured by ever-increasing real estate prices while you can also make short-term cash flow as well on the day-to-day business.  That is exactly the business model that turned McDonald’s into a major success story.

Thanks to these factors, the average home price in San Francisco now exceeds $1.5 million.  Even 1-bedroom properties cost an average of $825,000, up from $541,750 five years ago.

Some might criticize San Francisco, noting that the average person there is basically living in impoverished third-world conditions and that residents can only cash in on the nominal paper price increases by fleeing to a lower cost red or purple state, like Arizona, Texas, or Florida.  But that ignores the smug satisfaction that San Franciscans gain from being San Franciscans, the Pride capital of the United States.  That also ignores the fact that real estate always goes up.

So don’t wait.  The sooner you buy the more money you will make.  Buy an investment condo NOW.

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

Is that MDB, who has marked off his territory by putting up a tent, and peeing around it?
He looks tired, running AT must be a tough job.

MillionDollarBonus

No – I wish I could live in San Francisco Vlad – but I can’t afford it. I’ve kind of broken the bank with the AT’s $40 minimum wage policy that I’m paying to our cleaners, which I’m told by top economists should pay off soon. It hasn’t yet, but it’s only a matter of time before I break even.

John Sakars
John Sakars

How about apartment buildings for minimalists? The apartments could be very small. Just enough room for two people to lie down. Basically a closet, with just a lightbulb in the ceiling and an electrical outlet on the wall. You don’t even need your own bathroom or kitchen. On each floor of the apartment building, there could be a bathroom and a kitchen that everyone could use. And there could be other common areas in the building too, like a gym, library, even a simple little recording studio. There could also be a community garden on the roof. What do you think?

MillionDollarBonus

Wow that’s a swell idea John! We all need to learn to live with less in the post-industrial era.

trav777

Just borrow more.

Welfare is an economic multiplier, remember that! The more you spend, the bigger your economy.

MillionDollarBonus

Yes, well that must be the case, because GDP measures increases in spending as economic growth, and not a single accredited economist questions the value of GDP. Some crackpots believe real economic growth would be the ability to buy more valuable things with their incomes, or being able to work less in order to survive comfortably, but if we used those measures our economy probably wouldn’t be doing as well.

Anon
Anon

I hear China Has a lot of empty pads, just itching for Buyers.

It was part of their latest Five (that’s 5 for Black DONKEY BRAINS) Year Plan!

#racist

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Beastiality must be legal in SF, else how could Stretch Pelosi have sex? I personally would never live there b/c I’d be having too much fun making libs. dance to the staccato of my semi-auto 12 gauge.

#domestic-terrorism
#rape
#sexist

Emmett Roosevelt
Emmett Roosevelt

The only reason to not move to San Francisco is because you might displace someone higher up on the oppression pyramid. I assume that the accredited realtors take this into consideration when showing a hovel…I mean condo.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Scrapping up enough money to buy a condo in San Francisco is a bit out of my reach right now.
However there are several reasonably priced properties listed in Detroit. Would all condos be considered a good investment or just those in SF?
All the trends start on the coasts and move inland. So If i buy several of these condos in Detroit how soon would you predict it will take before I would be a multi-Billionaire Like Trump?

Emmett Roosevelt
Emmett Roosevelt

MMVC, I would also suggest places like Camden and Newark, New Jersey. These places are up and coming due to their high levels of diversity.

Anon
Anon

Chicago would be my Number One (that’s 1 for DONKEY BRAINS) choice if I wasn’t a white male.

#racist

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Once they get rid of that republican governor I might consider investing in NJ but that Krispy Creme guy was a main supporter of Trump and I can never forgive him for that.

MillionDollarBonus

Excellent article BLM! Real estate is absolutely a guaranteed investment! I know people who have made hundreds of thousands of dollars in a couple of years, just by taking out a mortgage of 20x their income (big deal), and buying a house. It’s literally like having your own ATM! Mind you, none of them have sold yet, and if they did they’d probably just buy another similar house – but I’m sure they’re smart enough to cash out before the gains disappear (which I know is impossible, but I’m just humoring the non-believers here).

This also ties into another article from earlier this year on why our government and Federal Reserve cannot allow real estate prices to fall:

Why Property Prices Cannot Be Allowed To Fall

This is more great news for young people, as it means more guaranteed profits! You just have to have the courage to get that 20x your earnings mortgage and you’re good to go. A lot of young people are scared to do this, and are already worried about their seemingly crippling student loan debt – but luckily their wise boomer parents are egging them on to pull the trigger and take on more debt. It worked for them, so why wouldn’t it work for millennials too?

trav777

some discredited economists are claiming that housing affordability is in crisis because of INFLATION, as opposed to something beneficial? Saying that prices of THINGS have gone up but there has been zero wage inflation except for the connected people who have access to the Fed and the banks! Can you believe this?

wpDiscuz