Joseph Smith Was Black

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A portrait of Joseph Smith clearly showing his blackness.


SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH (Accredited Times) – Pioneer Day is almost upon us!  Wait, you say, what the hell is Pioneer Day?  Pioneer Day is one of the most sacred days for Mormons.  Celebrated every year on July 24th, Pioneer Day commemorates the victorious entry of Brigham Young and the first group of Mormon pioneers into the Salt Lake Valley on July 24, 1847.

Many progressives, of course, remain deeply conflicted about Mormonism.  On the one hand, Mormons vote overwhelmingly Republican.  On the other hand, Mormons hate Donald Trump with a passion rivaled only by their passion for Jell-O, Utah’s official state snack.  On the plus side, Mormonism shares many similarities with Islam, including its historic belief in polygamy.  But on the down side, the mainstream Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints sadly bowed to political pressure from the Republican Party and rejected polygamy decades ago.  That said, progressives celebrate diversity, and the accredited media has instructed us that Utah was a toss-up in the 2016 election.  Consequently, we need to start being nice to Mormons (at Mormon levels of niceness) so we can win Utah in 2020, which will undoubtedly occur if we nominate a popular progressive candidate, like Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, or Maxine Waters, the current front-runner.

In that regard, Mormons need to shut up for a change and learn their real history.  Recently, the Accredited Times clarified an important foundational truth about Islam.  Now we need to clarify an important truth about Mormonism — a truth that the White Establishment doesn’t want you to know.  What am I talking about?  Yes, like the Prophet Muhammad, Joseph Smith was black.

Come on, you say.  That’s ridiculous.  Sorry, but the evidence speaks for itself.

First, even the facts that everyone knows about Joseph Smith scream blackness:

  • Really into God?  Black.
  • Really into Church?  Black.
  • Spent his youth searching for gold because he was really into bling as well?  Black.
  • Believed that Jesus would return on the mothership?  Black.
  • Arrested at least 42 times?  Black.
  • Subject to at least 30 criminal actions?  Black.
  • Repeatedly incarcerated?  Black.
  • Repeatedly abused by police officers?  Black.
  • Had a gang of other peeps around him?  Black.
  • Believed he “be kangz“?  Black.
  • Had libidinal relations with numerous womyn, including thick white ones?  Black.
  • Killed by a lynch mob of whites?  Black again.

Is there anything about Joseph Smith’s background that even remotely suggests whiteness?  No.

Second, a close review of the historical record demonstrates Joseph Smith’s blackness beyond a reasonable doubt.  The White Establishment argues that Smith’s mother was a white womyn named Lucy Mack Smith.  However, just as DNA evidence proved that Thomas Jefferson fathered children with Sally Hemmings, the DNA evidence here cannot be ignored, nor can it be refuted.  Not a shred of DNA evidence has been propounded to prove Lucy Mack Smith’s alleged parentage of Joseph Smith.  On the contrary, according to experts who have reviewed the forensic evidence closely, Joseph Smith’s real mother was in fact African-American Jane Manning James.

A picture of Jane Manning James, Joseph Smith’s real mother.

Known as “Aunt Jane”, Jane Manning James lived with Joseph Smith and his family.  She also immediately joined the Latter-day Saint Church before Joseph Smith had hardly any followers, something only a mother would do.  If James was just some random African-American womyn, then why was she living with Smith and his family?  I’ll tell you why: she was living with Smith and his family because they were her family as well.  A review of government archives, including Smith’s criminal arrest records, has also located pictures showing Joseph Smith’s blackness clearly, thereby corroborating the experts’ conclusion as to James’ parentage of Smith:

A picture of a young Joseph Smith thought to have been taken after an early arrest in New York in 1826 for fraud relating to pretending to find lost treasure (i.e., bling). As shown in the picture, Joseph Smith was clearly an African-American who sported dreadlocks, a traditional African-American hairstyle.
A picture of a slightly more heavyset Joseph Smith after another arrest for allegedly performing a fraudulent exorcism in 1830.  Smith again was clearly sporting dreadlocks, a traditional African-American hairstyle.

With slavery still present in Joseph Smith’s day, the White Establishment, unsurprisingly, sought to sweep Smith’s African-American roots underneath the rug.  They didn’t want Americans to know that a true prophet of God was an African-American, just like all of the other prophets before him.  Indeed, many other historical titans in the period faced similar indignities.  Most notably, Russia’s most famous writer, Alexander Pushkin, similarly had his African origins concealed.

The White Establishment has cited various passages in the holy Mormon texts to try to disprove Joseph Smith’s blackness, but their citations are ridiculously unpersuasive and only further reinforce Smith’s blackness.  In particular, the White Establishment has pointed to language in the Book of Nephi about how the Lamanites were “white and delightsome“.  But how does that prove anything?  Smith obviously just had a thing for white booty.  Don’t we all?

The White Establishment has also pointed to language in the Book of Nephi that God imposed a “curse” of dark skin on his people, the Lamanites.  Uh, yeah, Joseph Smith was obviously complaining about racism.  He was complaining about how the white man had treated him because of his blackness.

Notably, the Book of Mormon preaches that Christ’s atonement was for everyone, including slaves and African-Americans, and that Mormons should preach the gospel to everyone.  How could Joseph Smith support White Privilege and inequality, on the one hand, but then support atonement and equality for all, on the other?  The White Establishment’s view would require one to believe that the Book of Mormon is logically inconsistent and fake, which is obviously not the case.

In conclusion, Joseph Smith was black.  So this Pioneer Day, be sure to pour one out for your homey and mine, African-American Joseph Smith.

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

I want his real birth certificate. Can’t you people ever get this right?

#hate-speech

Bring Them Young
Bring Them Young

What do you mean by “you people”????

MillionDollarBonus

Exactly! “You people” is a dog whistle for racism! CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE HP!

… sorry guys I get a little cranky if I haven’t eaten. Time for some salted raw broccoli sticks 😛

richandrenee

We’ve just received a private email from John Sakars – he didn’t want to embarrass anyone but apparently the nori in the raw vegan sushi picture from yesterday is toasted.

MillionDollarBonus

Are you SERIOUS?? I’ve been eating that Sushi for months now from a place in my area! They made one hell of a mistake selling toasted seaweed to a raw vegan. They’ll be hearing from my lawyers shortly!

… SERIOUSLY??

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

Why no one ever hears from your lawyers? Are they smoking weed in a tent in San Francisco, and are too zoned out to type a notice?

Bring Them Young
Bring Them Young

BLM, if anything, this dramatic expose points to something I’ve suspected all along…that Mormons are guilty of cultural appropriation and should therefore be made to pay reparations.

#accredited-times-pick

MillionDollarBonus

Wow what an incredible bombshell article BLM! The more I look into Afrocentrism, the more blown away I am that pretty much everything of value was invented by Africans. It’s amazing that Afrocentrism repeatedly finds that nearly all good things were produced by Africans, but all bad things are produced by whites. Literally in every case so far, if it’s good, it was Africans and if it’s bad, it was whites. This is LITERALLY the opposite of what the white establishment has taught us! Their lies are coming undone now though, and there’s nothing they can do to stop the truth from coming out.

richandrenee

Thank goodness the dark days of Apartheid are over! The economic growth under Zuma is phenomenal!!!

MillionDollarBonus

So true! Many however are still suffering, and can’t afford to pay for their 10 kids, so I think we need a radical economic transformation. I believe Julius Malema, the proud Zulu is the man for the job:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Malema

He even has a growing number of white supporters who, unlike others, recognize their privilege:

https://buzzsouthafrica.com/eff-recruits-white-fighters/

richandrenee

******WHITE PEOPLE ARE ILLEGAL******

Kiwi nigga lova
Kiwi nigga lova

MillionDollarBonus

Allah bless social justice!

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

A little known fact is the fact that NASA’s own Buzz Aldrin was BLACK.

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

How did he become black? He forgot to wear his spacesuit while on the moon?

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