Kid Rock: White Trash For U.S. Senate

25
703
Kid Rock, a white trash "musician", has announced a possible run for U.S. Senate.


DETROIT (Accredited Times) – Welcome to Idiocracy, America.  We are seriously screwed.  I mean seriously, seriously screwed.  First Donald Trump, and now Kid Rock?  Someone please wake me up from this nightmare.

Yes, “Kid Rock” (officially known as Robert James Ritchie, 46) has set up a campaign website and expressed strong interest in running for U.S. Senate in Michigan against incumbent progressive Debbie Stabenow (D-MI).  Yeah, like the U.S. Senate where, you know, real people with intelligence run the country.  That one.  Mr. Rock even has a campaign sign in his front lawn.  I am not kidding.

Kid Rock’s campaign sign for U.S. Senate.

Come on, you say.  This has to be a hoax.  Uh, hello, do you remember the Donald Trump campaign?  That was supposed to be a hoax too.  If a serial pussy-grabbing orange reality TV star/fascist can steal the White House from the most qualified person ever to run for office, then Mr. Rock also has a chance to win a Senate seat in White Trash America®.  For any doubters, Mr. Rock has even made clear that his bid is “not a hoax”, stating (via Twitter, of course): “I have had a ton of emails and texts asking me if this website is real… kidrockforsenate.com [sic] The answer is absolute YES.”

So far, Mr. Rock has not filed a candidacy statement with the Federal Election Commission.  But Mr. Rock has already become heavily involved in alt-right politics, including meeting with Donald Trump (he who colludes with Russia) and Sarah Palin (“I can see Russia from my house”) in April.  Mitt Romney, a Mormon follower of African-American Joseph Smith, even used Mr. Rock’s “song”, “Born Free“, as his theme song.

But that’s not all!  Now a recent poll shows Mr. Rock crushing Senator Stabenow in a head-to-head match-up, 54% to 46% among those who responded, although thankfully 44% of those polled were too nauseated by Mr. Rock’s inclusion in the poll to respond.  Mr. Rock retweeted the poll from an alt-right website with the headline: “BOOM! Kid Rock LEADS In Michigan Senate Race Poll”.

Playing up to his white trash roots, Mr. Rock has further taunted Senator Stabenow with other insulting tweets, though he has yet to make any reference to blood coming out of her wherever.

On July 21, 2017, Mr. Rock tweeted this picture, along with the statement: “Dinner time at my house. What do you think Schumer is spoon-feeding Stabenow tonight?”

Mr. Rock has indicated that he believes strongly in the full panoply of alt-right positions, including racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, furryphobia, and Islamophobia.  In the 2016 election, Mr. Rock initially supported Republican Ben Carson, an Uncle Tom, for U.S. President, but he later switched his support to Donald Trump when he realized that Carson had no chance in hell in winning (and by “hell” I mean the Republican primary).  Yes, I’m referring to the same Ben Carson who currently “runs” the Department of Housing and Urban Development despite having no experience in either housing or urban development.

Kid Rock has generated controversy for his repeated use of the Confederate flag in performances. Confederate flags are commonly used as symbols of hate speech by members of the alt-right, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Fortunately, progressives have a secret weapon in Senator Debbie Stabenow, 67, a career public servant who has served in elected office since 1975, immediately upon graduating with a Master of Social Work from Michigan State University.  Senator Stabenow is a strong supporter of popular programs, like ObamaCare, and popular positions, like open trade and open borders, including amnesty for undocumented Americans.  Thankfully, Senator Stabenow’s popular positions and stable persona are sure to propel her to victory regardless of whatever white trash candidate Trump digs up from the garbage bin next.

Manny Streams Madea
Manny Streams Madea

BLM, this is so silly. How can anyone believe that Kid Rock is a serious candidate. Senator Stabenow must be very happy that he’s running since it will just guarantee her a victory. The fact that Kid Rock espouses evil right wing views, coupled with Stabenow’s Social Justice credentials will just ensure her a landslide.

MillionDollarBonus

Wow the alt right is totally crazy! This is not a reality show! This is our country we are talking about! How on earth is a rock star going to do a better job than highly qualified leaders like Maxine Waters and Nancy Pelosi! Politics should be reserved for our best and brightest only!

Besides, we don’t need any more white males in politics. The Democrats have already made this clear, and have made sure there is no room for people low on the victim pyramid anymore. We still haven’t even had our first undocumented senator!

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Debbie Stabenow needs a spittoon…. Accredited ugly; but the bitch looks good compared to McCaskell.

#body-shaming

Martha C.
Martha C.

Not looking too good for Debbie! Been in ‘public service’ since the 1970s and Michigan is still…well…Michigan?

But still…how dare Senator Rock…err…MR. Rock ask for secure borders, states rights, and a reasonable immigration policy! For shame!

Expat Logger
Expat Logger

Great progressive article, BLM.

Where to start? Firstly, if Elvis was King of Rock and Roll, then Kid Rock is surely the Prince. Motown is hub of white trash rap music and a gutted auto industry, but I want Kid Rock to set his sights higher than the Senate. If Trump is King of the Rednecks, then I see Kid Rock as the Prince in Waiting.

Kid Rock for President!

#tricknology

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

You’re such a hillbilly, Logger! Didn’t you know M&M is by far the best white rapper in Detroit, at least to judge by the size of his mansion!

Expat Logger
Expat Logger

Ain’t nothing wrong with being a hillbilly Beau if you live in the hills and your second name is Billy. What I wanna know is how in the hell did you get to “judge” the size of Eminems mansion?

If you don’t mind my asking??

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

I have a SISTER on the American side of my family who works on the M&M estate. So there!

Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

Ronald Raegan

#neoliberalism

trav777

Stabinow sounds like the real winner that the Democrat Party has been putting forth for decades.

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

The Real Deal

wpDiscuz