Why Everyone Should Be Entitled To Regular Paid Career Breaks

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Tirana, Albania (Accredited Times) – Around this time of year, many of us pack up our faux suede bags and go on a well-deserved vacation.  I myself am on Day One of a fact-finding trip in Albania, where I plan to study Soviet-era architecture.  Here’s a little beauty I found this morning whilst out looking for a vegan café:

Amazing use of colors; this is progressive architecture à l’outrance

One of the many benefits of being a journalist with the Accredited Times is the generous holiday allowance.  We get 180 days per year plus sick leave (a further 30 days – often needed due to being frequently triggered). This time-off allows me to hitch-hike across the world at my leisure and learn about cultures which are better than our own by virtue of being different and therefore ‘cool’.  Also, since I don’t drive and am forced to hitch-hike, I can moan hypocritically about how environmentally-unfriendly cars are whilst personally benefiting from others’ generosity when they stop to pick me up.

Ok, so I am still waiting for my first Accredited Times pay check but the banks have been pretty good about extending my credit limit when I’ve needed to.  Individually, the amount owed on each of my twenty credit cards is perfectly manageable.  Here’s a great tip I learned: withdraw a small amount from one card and use it to pay the interest-only portion of the amount owed on all the other cards.  Since by definition debt is wealth, I should probably feel quite prosperous given that I now owe a total of $124,545.32 plus a car loan.

My debt situation aside, I feel quite blessed when I weigh up my employment benefits against those of the average American worker.  Compared to their counterparts in most European countries, American employees get a raw deal.  Whilst an American might get say ten days of holiday a year, the French typically have up to two months off.  In addition, French labour law restricts the working week to 35 hours.  Finally, France recently introduced a new law giving employees a legal right not to have to check work emails when they get home in the early afternoon or at weekends either.

There are other employment benefits which Americans do not receive either.  In progressive Sweden, for example, parents are entitled to 480 days of leave on the birth of a child.  These 480 days are to be shared between each of/all of the parents.  So, if the mother takes 200 of these days off, the other mother(s)/father(s) get(s) the other 280 days.

In Current Year, it seems quite unjust that Americans are trapped in workplace slavery like battery hens. If the French, Swedes etc. can enjoy la dolce vita, why shouldn’t we?  This is not simply a question of fairness; it is also about ensuring that America attracts and retains the brightest of today’s talent.  In short, a workplace revolution is urgently needed.

A team of Accredited Times staff telephone-interviewed 300 millennials in order to gain their insights into the workplace changes they would like to see implemented. Using a simple question and answer format whereby multiple responses were permitted, our study showed:

  • 25% of respondents agreed with the statement ‘a lack of experience or qualifications should not be a barrier to becoming CEO of a major corporation within five years of graduation’
  • 82% of respondents agreed with the proposition that ‘I personally feel no loyalty whatsoever to my current employer’
  • Only 10% of respondents expect to still be in their present job in six months time.
  • The highest score positive response was in relation to the question ‘all employees should be entitled to paid career breaks on a regular basis’. 99% of our survey agreed.

We find the last response most compelling.  If Current Year employers wish to attract and retain the brightest of talents, they simply must raise their game by restructuring their workforce to allow regular paid career breaks.  Workers get the chance to explore the world, expand their horizons, learn new languages, engage in social justice efforts. Whilst there may be some incremental costs to the employer of doing this, think of it simply as a fair redistribution of wealth from greedy shareholders to the working class. Here’s the outline of our proposal:

  • All employees get to work one year on, one year off at full pay
  • It follows that, for every existing employee, an additional employee will be required. This will solve the unemployment problem overnight!
  • In the event that there are insufficient home-grown employees, immigrants/ refugees can be brought into the country to fill the gaps
  • We introduce European style holidays and generous parental leave along Swedish lines

We believe that the increase in happiness and employee satisfaction these measures will bring will boost productivity to such an extent that this will offset any additional cost in any case.

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hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Let’s hope you’re being heavily taxed on your imaginary earnings. Taxes are good, right?

trav777

We don’t have the diversity France has, all those Afghans and Somalis and Congolese who fled the civil war in Syria to pay our pensions.

Also, France’s diversity helps rid its streets of unwanted bourgeois automobiles pretty regularly.

vacamuerta
vacamuerta

Quite right, the shrinking western demographic is in dire need of all the skills that those hard working doctors, engineers and scientists are bringing to the streets of western European cities.

It truly is an exhilarating time for a progressive to be alive, to be able to hitchhike across Europe, as Pbier does, and witness first hand the sweeping change brought about under the UNs policy of replacement migration, and of open borders.

The French progressives have already given a date when the sale of carbon belching vehicles will be banned. It is most public spirited of the new French to accelerate this agenda, perhaps the Mahgrebis are concerned with ocean acidification?. I am pretty sure that improving the urban/global environment is the chief motivation of their hard working coreligionists Sweden too.

HungryPirana asks at what salary crushing income taxes should cut in?, in the UK Mr Corbyn believes punitive anti-greed rate should kick in at 80K ( he earns 70K), though many of his supporters in the workers party who live on entitlements believe it should be far lower.

Black Lives Matter

BAN WORK

#accredited-times-pick

John Sakars
John Sakars

You know how there’s Couchsurfing and Airbnb? Maybe there could be something where people let you camp on their front lawn or in their backyard for the night. I’m thinking urban camping is the future

Buck
Buck

#fact-check
Ben Bernanke |
“History proves… that a smart central bank can protect the economy and the financial sector from the nastier side effects of a stock market collapse.” |
true |
As a millennial, I KNOW what I deserve and I’m not afraid to demand it! Look, economics has been figured out by now, it being Current Year already. Issues of scarcity and resource allocation and the entire concept of value and work has been ironed out; conservative bigots need to seriously check their sweat privilege. Under the professional stewardship of our central bank, anything resembling doubt on the part of the typical Trumptard needs to be investigated by highly paid government intelligence agents as domestic terrorism. Hate crime, minimum.

Unfortunately, I’m growing quite weary lately as I battle for social justice at my current job. I work in a machine shop and although I’ve personally checked my cis-white male privelege, every single one of my co-workers are suspiciously Fucking White Males. The way they callously dismiss and mock my cries for social justice just assures me that I am on the right side of history. Still, bringing myself to a point of hysteria while chanting til I’m red in the face is sometimes exhausting. Disgustingly, I feel “loyal” to my employer as our relationship is founded on a mutual understanding of duty. Admittedly though I’m still working up the courage to take the plunge and demand What I Deserve, but for now I sit and wait as I know that I still have reparations to pay, forever.

Forgot to mention/update, I was rightfully declined an offer for the position at the BLS. There was another candidate with ALOT more credentials and certificates than me, H1B qualified, etc, so they definitely deserved it. I’m still looking for more self-actualizing work with obscene benefits though, so if anyone knows of anything let me know.

Buck
Buck

I got so worked up that I forgot to make my point that because of the wonders of central bank financing, Literally anything is possible. We can support all sorts of leisurely time off, fixed income payments, pensions, wars, subsidies, bad business practices, EVERYTHING.

MillionDollarBonus

Nice fact check, Buck! This is so true! Central banking enabled all of the economic growth of the 20th century, and therefore central bankers and economists can take all the credit for any innovation and business success that occurred during this period.

Black Lives Matter

Conservatives claim to be “Christian,” but they’re really not. If they were, everyone would have the entire year off every seven years. On every jubilee (every 49 years) all property is also remitted back to its original owners. Who would that be today? PEOPLE OF COLOR.

Black Lives Matter

We’ll TAKE what is OURS. The good ole white days are OVER.

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

Cuba has it all. Fidel Castro was a genius and he created an utopia on the Caribbean Island of Cuba. A perfect example of how a proper government should operate. Cuba has the highest literacy rate in the world, ranked as one the highest life expectancy rates, zero homelessness, lowest crime rate known to man, universal healthcare, everyone gets a government stipend, etc., etc.

Hats off to Fidel Castro

#sexist

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

Well that goes without saying, it is a paradise after all. Let’s not forget the Rum and Mojito’s..oh and that awesome Cuban Reggaeton music.

MillionDollarBonus

Thanks to the raw vegan diet, I feel nothing when I watch this.

#accredited-times-pick

Carrot Juice Is Your Friend
Carrot Juice Is Your Friend

Me neither….

Black Lives Matter

Add about 350 pounds and darken the hue five or six shades, and then I’ll be more interested . . .

Black Lives Matter

Aren’t you supposed to be at a Klan meeting or something?

Womyn should be THICK and should not be afraid to put on a few pounds.

richandrenee

Wow Cuba is so far ahead of us. Just look how Transgender people are living in prosperity with dignity. They even get elected to public office – the US is so backwards and bigoted it defies belief.

Lesboss
Lesboss

Although the video is tagged as sexist I like to give the benefit of the doubt. After watching it five times I think it is… if a man watches it.
Now that I identify as a lesbian I need feel no guilt about my erection

MillionDollarBonus

I agree fullheartedly – which is why the Accredited Times offers such generous leave and benefits packages, as well as a $40 minimum wage across the entire company, even for our cleaners. We’re willing forgo some initial productivity here at the AT in order to support the work-life balance of our employees. According to many progressive economists, it should all balance out in the long run.

trav777

You’re still trapped in the box of traditional economics- productivity? You have socially active justice warrior employees and you have diversity! THESE are the productive things. DIVERSITY is what is the greatest strength and causes all success in business, along with the Law of Attraction. Not hard work, not “productivity.” Bah, that’s just capitalistical talk right there. Employees have a right to be happy and do what they want within the bounds of their own consciences, unless it involves Trump or anything not progressive, then they have to be fired.

Protesting for the latest cause or in the case of the pink hat rally, no cause at all is the new normal in Current Year. Nobody has time to fix electrical power lines or broken water pipes or to pave roads or build buildings when there are IMPORTANT social justice issues to protest!

MillionDollarBonus

You’re right Trav – maybe I should just let all our employees do whatever they want then. I’m just a little worried because the banks are getting a little testy with me after I took out a huge loan to fund our progressive minimum wage policy. I’m a progressive, but I support banks, and I need to make my payments – it’s my duty.

Vladmir Putin
Vladmir Putin

You took a yuge loan, and Pbier, your top journalist is waiting for his first check? Where did the money disappear?

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

O/T – I ran across this accredited video last night. I was truly moved.

vacamuerta
vacamuerta

Hey Pbier, any chance of you popping down to Lagos for some on the spot reportage from the West’s future?.

Anyone can travel the streets vicariously using google streetview, and one can realy appreciate the vibrancy and color – the teeming streets with their vendors, and even perhaps the exotic scents form roadside food stalls, open drains etc.

In 40 years, this could be your city! (minus the petroleum powered vehicles, of course).

As a taster, here is a snapshot of Jubrila St

http://preview.tinyurl.com/y8zlofsd

I am sure a western backpacker such as yourself would have a great time exploring all the winding alleyways after dusk and discussing social justice with the inhabitants of that great city.

And it’s just going to get better!

https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2013/jun/13/nigeria-larger-population-us-2050

Black Flies Matter
Black Flies Matter

Hey Vacamuerta, I’m just down the road in Kumasi, Ghana – about a 4 hour drive, let’s have a pint tomorrow evening matey.

Lesboss
Lesboss

Spare a thought for me. I have never been employed which obviously means I have never had a day off. Feeling quite exhausted now I think about it. I need to go for a lie down.

Lesboss
Lesboss

PS. I have travelled the world extensively and found it is full of Syrian Refugees. Damn that must have been one heck of a crowded country at one time.

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