Compared To Women, All Men Are Basically Work-Shy

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Copacabana Beach, Rio de Janiera (Accredited Times) – One of the greatest kept secrets in the publishing world is that news articles are all written by freelance womyn journalists (see featured image for an example of a womyn). The AT is no exception.

Sure, our articles may they appear to be written by men (and a token non-binary with a testosterone deficit)  – and the ‘authors’ MDB, BLM, Rich and Pbier among others duly take the credit – but it is womyn who produce the first, second and final drafts as well as edit the foregoing. This is because womyn are better at everything, including writing accredited articles.

We men (and the non-binary, for now essentially the same thing as far as we can tell) basically sit around playing online poker, drinking beer, wondering when the womyn will finally finish writing the article so we can submit it (after adding our names as ‘authors) and then go to the pub.

Until now, the AT creative process was meant to be a closely guarded secret. Unfortunately, in yet another hard-hitting Guardian article, feminist writer Julie Bindel has revealed the secrets of the trade. We therefore feel obliged at last to reveal the truth.

We would be prepared to consider her application as a journalist were she to apply to AT. #not gratuitous

Quoting the ex-model millionairess Salma Hayek, Bindel writes:

Men do a lot less,” [Hayek] told Net-a-Porter’s magazine, The Edit, “they are less demanding on themselves and their standards are lower, yet they feel entitled to ask for a raise or a promotion.”

This will not surprise any woman who has seen her male counterparts spend an hour playing online poker before striding into the boss’s office and cockily asking for a pay rise. This is all fuel to the fire in our sexist culture. Women rarely feel good enough about themselves, and tend to feel under pressure to do more for less praise and fewer pounds. Whereas men can roll into the office looking like death in a carrier bag, women tend to be under pressure to look as fresh as a daisy.

Speaking for myself, I arrive at the AT offices around noontime, unshaven and half-naked, alcohol-induced vomit barely wiped from my chin, demanding to know where the coffee is. And my pay rise. BLM is pretty much the same, although he is higher up the oppressed pyramid than any of us so we say nothing. Both of us continuously demand pay rises from MDB, well aware that money is an issue since we decided to pay our cleaners a $40 per hour minimum wage. Meanwhile, our womyn writers carry on working, humbly producing the articles we need to survive without complaint.

Woe betide anyone who gets between me and my coffee. After my obligatory one hour lie-down, I get ready to sign any article the womyn have written during my shut eyes.  First though, I need an update. Has Anon posted his usual racist/ Islamaphobic/ sexist drivel? If so, how do we contain this? Has Soros paid in his donations?

Our sense of self entitlement is astonishing. And, yet, can anyone of us Males truly claim we have ever put in a decent shift at work?

Before we can answer or indeed offer any evidence as to our work ethic, the Guardian’s Bindel once more kicks us in the proverbial balls:

“My point about men doing less and getting more money, praise (or both) is one most women are united on: men cooking. It is clear, watching men with their BBQ sets, or assembling a curry in the kitchen, that to them, cooking does not feel like “housework” in the way cleaning does. Let’s face it, if it did, they probably would not be so keen to wreck the kitchen or patio while wearing an apron adorned with a “dude with the food” slogan.

Feminists still have much left to do before we are even close to being liberated from the shackles of patriarchal privilege, and this is yet more unpaid work we women will have to undertake.

Patriarchal privilege is everywhere. We would like to say we are above this, but our business model says otherwise.  BLM claims he has ‘other ways’ of remunerating his female ‘ghost writers (and I understand they are fully satisfied) but I do wonder whether the ‘shackles’ Bindel writes about and BLM uses are strictly necessary.

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28 Comments on "Compared To Women, All Men Are Basically Work-Shy"

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jfb
jfb

Unrelated with the article but I have just heard about the Charlottesville tragedy and I’m shaking in anger. BLM, are you OK? Were you wounded?

Black Lives Matter

Thank you so much for your concern. I was at the peaceful protests in Charlottesville after attending BronyCon in Baltimore earlier. I’m OK now, but I did sustain some minor injuries. I’m planning on having my assistant Shawntay put together an article this weekend. Hopefully, it will be on my desk when I arrive on Monday morning around noon.

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

There’s nothing wrong with liking a bit of Chinese BLM, but check your privilege on urban dictionary:

Tori: Have you meet Shawntay yet?
Brenda: Ya, and she is freakin badass!!

Black Lives Matter

Our Shawntay is a proud African-American. I’m really surprised that Urban Dictionary of all places would be so racist. Then again, the site did originate in AmeriKKKa, the most racist country in the world.

drb6
drb6

Pbier, do you also beat (or at least fantasize) about beating your female co-workers as all men are violent?

jfb
jfb

I’m glad to see that MDB is open to telecommuting -signing the article of your female co-worker from Copacabana Beach is probably stressful for you if her other tasks prevent her from respecting the deadline, but I want to praise her work and dedication as well

Black Lives Matter

Great article! The womyn who write our articles, take out the trash, and change the dirty diapers around here really don’t get enough credit. Womyn are oppressed, and it’s about damn time that the politicians start doing something about it.

Michelle Obama for President in 2020

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

Scarlett Johanssen is better, less track record!

ExpatLogger
ExpatLogger

I would !

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

You idiot, I told you to take the RED pills, not the blue ones !!

Black Lives Matter

Sorry, she is just not diverse enough. If she were to identify as pangendered, then I think she could run.

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

Scarlett Johanssen has better things to do with her time than write articles for AT !!!

#sexist

Black Lives Matter

Like what? If you’re referring to cooking, cleaning, and housework, that would be SEXIST. Don’t make me flag you!

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

I dare you !!

#sexist

Black Lives Matter

You’ve done it now. You have been FLAGGED. Any more outbursts, and expect a visit from the Southern Poverty Law Center.

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

I enjoyed the flagging BLM, but check your spelling.

There’s no Southern Povert Law Center. I’ll have you know the correct spelling is “PERVERT”.

I been called many things in my life but never that!

Black Lives Matter

I’ll check my spelling, but you need to CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE.

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

That I do DOUBLY every day with the same care that I check my accredited pharma rota when I’m on night duty.

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Anyone else notice how the few hard-workin bitchez are prone to 4x complaining? Men must work extremely hard just to LISTEN to the price of tea in China lugubriousness, and whatever else comes out their mouth. 2 steps forward; then 8 back. When the bitchez ain’t working, they on the prowl. Sounds like BLM know about that.

jfb
jfb

On the bright side, I heard that the pope will beatify Heather Heyer as soon as next week, it’s a speedy process if you compare with the previous cases were it would take years, but the emergency of the situation makes it necessary.

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