Why We Need To Ban Cycling Now


Until another lone wolf lost control of his van in the streets of Barcelona today, with evil alt-right bigots quick to blame ‘Islam’, the big news in the U.K. was how a ‘fixie’ cyclist had deliberately ‘mowed down’ a pedestrian in London. If anything, the latter incident is the more disturbing.

Charlie Alliston, 20, is one of a handful of cyclists over recent decades who have either killed or injured innocent pedestrians. What makes this homicide especially depressing is that Alliston was wearing neither a helmet nor hi-viz clothing at the time. Nor was Alliston’s ‘fixie’ bike equipped with a front brake which might otherwise have reduced his speed at the time of the impact from a shocking 18 mph. As the Guardian reports:

A former bike courier accused of mowing down a mother-of-two on his bicycle has denied being a risk-taking thrill-seeker influenced by “dangerous” cycle race videos.

Charlie Alliston, 18, likened cycling without a front brake on his bike to starring in “alleycat” movies, films of informal races in cities around the world, the Old Bailey heard.

Alliston, 20, never wore a helmet when he cycled and took to the road on a track bike that had no front brake – thus contravening a legal requirement of which, he told the court, he was unaware.

Under cross-examination by the prosecutor, Duncan Penny QC, Alliston said: “I did not get a kick or enjoyment out of not being safe.

Alliston was 18 when he collided with Kim Briggs as she crossed Old Street in London on 12 February 2016. The 44-year-old HR consultant, who had been on her lunch break, sustained “catastrophic” head injuries and died in hospital a week later.

Penny questioned Alliston over a tweet he sent in February 2015 that compared cycling without a front brake to being in a “Lucas Brunelle movie”.

Brunelle makes alleycat videos in which he rides around cities including London “doing dangerous stuff” such as weaving in and out of traffic, narrowly avoiding pedestrians and going into bus lanes, the Old Bailey heard.

Killer on a bike. White, male, cyclist. Guilty as charged.

Whilst we hope that the judge will impose the maximum possible jail sentence against this arrogant cyclist, we recognize that nothing will bring back the innocent pedestrian who was snuffed out in the prime of her life. At the risk of over-emphasis,  we urge you to read the words of the article carefully: This was no accidental collision, the pedestrian was ‘mowed down’. The cyclist was also a white male. He is guilty. As Hell.

We do believe that lessons need to be learnt from this unfortunate episode, if only to ensure that this once-in-every-five years-incident never happens again. Whilst selfish cycling lobbies protest that cars are far more dangerous to pedestrians than cyclists, resulting in many more lives lost, we believe this is beside the point. Far more media attention has been given to the death of this particular pedestrian than any cyclist or pedestrian killed by trucks, cars etc. In other words, people have had enough of the cyclist menace. People naturally enquire: What will the government do to clamp down on cycling? How do we return our nation’s roads to law-abiding car drivers in their environmentally friendly vehicles?

As a gesture of respect to the innocent pedestrian who was ‘mowed down’, cycling itself needs to be banned. Whilst there will be a few selfish voices who will protest this proposal, cycling is an old-fashioned pastime which has outlived its useful shelf-life and – as we have seen – has proven itself to be outright dangerous. In the U.K., France, US, Australia and elsewhere, cyclists have become a menace on our roads. Riding sometimes three or four abreast, they prevent the normal circulation of road traffic (I.e. cars) and cause motorists to suffer raised blood pressure, anxiety, and even cardiac incidents due to drivers being unable to overtake cyclists within a few seconds of encountering them.

We have already reported how smart cars represent the future. Not only will smart cars allow their passengers to navigate safely from A to B, they also will provide our government agencies with important data on people’s movements, health and activities, thus allowing the government to raise the quality of life for all. The government will also improve ‘security, prevent ‘terrorist attacks’ in ways we have no business of knowing but to take it on simple trust. Sadly, the same cannot be said of cyclists, whose movements remain entirely unknown, unrecorded, and anonymous. Selfish in other words.

If a final argument against cycling was needed, we need only mention drugs cheat, Lance Armstrong. As recent revelations have shown, Armstrong was only one of many professional cyclists who cynically took performance enhancing drugs to gain an edge. Yes, he was singled out because a scapegoat was needed. The real truth is far more shocking. Here is the truth:

All cyclists are taking unaccredited drugs. From the old lady cycling to the post office to dispatch a birthday card to the professional cycling courrier delivering letters to Goldman Sachs: they are all on EPO. They are all potential killers of pedestrians. They need to be stopped now.

Cycling is not ‘freedom’. It is death.

postscript: we are aware of certain dissent in relation to this subject. Do we ban bikes or just white males? Marx was clear in the subject: two feet are all that are needed for transportation:

Smash not only the capitalist system but also bicycles. But don’t just take my word for it, here’s a bike Karl smashed personally

You’ve clearly lost it.

Cycling is very heavily progressive.

We need to ban cars.

Ok? It doesn’t matter how many people a progressive-liked thing kills or how dangerous it is, it’s progressive and therefore unimpeachably good. Likewise, no amount of evidence can reverse the verdict against anything progressives dislike.

Black Lives Matter

You’re right about cycling and cars, but Pbier’s take is something that progressives need to be more progressive about. I am most progressive of all on this subject because I walk everywhere (except when I jet around the world for Accredited Times pieces). I also try to walk slowly so as to lower my CO2 emissions. That’s where we all need to go — no cars, no bikes, just nature as nature intended everything to be.

I’ve been almost run down by cyclists on probably at least five occasions. Many cyclists don’t obey stoplights, and they dart right past pedestrians, mostly People of Color, without looking. This cyclist looks like he tried being progressive with his ear plugs, but he just didn’t go far enough; he should have also at least gotten a full Maori tribesman tattoo on his face or maybe gone full Rachel Dolezal. In the same regard, he should have eliminated transportation altogether. Or, better yet, just self-euthanized himself given that he is a white male.


The main cause of CO2 is rednecks in pickup trucks. We need to ban rednecks and force everyone to live in progressive smart cities in minimalist apartments, or couch surf like John Sakars.


But Trav, Pbier is right – cycling is overwhelmingly an activity favored by white males! And what’s worse, it’s exercise, which is a form of body shaming, and serves to further unrealistic, patriarchal standards of female beauty. Anything like that needs to be banned in my opinion.


Progressive white males with low testosterone from liberal enclaves!

Saint Al Gore LOVES to talk about cycling, as does EVERY OTHER PROGRESSIVE LEADER. They ALL want us to ditch our cars and return to the earth. Some claim this will just make more room on the roads for them, but I am not so cynical…I KNOW that elites like Gore mean what they say and walk the walk as well as talk the talk.

Bicycles may as well be on the flag with hammer and sickle, they are so INGRAINED in communism! You people’s neonazi white supremacist attitude toward them of HATE would have you lined up and SHOT in an instant by Mao or Pot, two GREAT progressive utopian visionary leaders!

I’m sorry, but you CANNOT hate bicycles and be a progressive. What you people mean to say is that you hate white males!

This article needs to be EDITED; I may have to do it myself and redline out banning of cycling and change it to banning of white males, as THEY are the ones to blame here!!!!11

Black Lives Matter

You’re right that cycling has been a core progressive belief for a number of years, but your comments about people, and not bicycles, being responsible for CO2 reminds me of gun nuts who say that people, and not guns, cause gun crime. As progressives, we blame the object. So if a cyclist is emitting CO2 by breathing while on the bicycle, I’m afraid I have to blame the bicycle. I blame white males too but that’s because they are greedy capitalists who make bicycles, just like greedy gun manufacturers.

Bicycles are an improvement on automobiles, which is why St. Gore has championed them, but I think we should only promote them in the short term as a means of getting people used to slower transportation as we make automobiles unaffordable. Traditional People of Color didn’t have bicycles, so we don’t need them either. Bob Marley in “No Woman, No Cry” said: “My feet is my only carriage.” Pbier is definitely onto something here.

Plus you’re also forgetting to note the cleavage picture that Pbier generously included. It’s very persuasive.

Black Lives Matter

I’m surprised you didn’t see her at BronyCon.

Black Lives Matter

Righhhht — “Anon” wasn’t there; it was “Applejack.”

I support bronies in the war against Trump, but some of you bronies just take the thing way to far.