Buenos Aires, Argentina (Accredited Times) – In April 1982, Argentina invaded the Falkland Islands, an archipelago in the South Atlantic Ocean. Argentine special forces landed at Mullet Creek, a small river in East Falkland, and seized government facilities in Stanley, the capital of the Falkland Islands.
For two months, Falkland Islanders found themselves liberated by a benevolent progressive government based in Buenos Aires, roughly 1,200 miles away. In a shocking display of imperialist jingoism, however, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher invaded the Falkland Islands, which Argentina had renamed Las Islas Malvinas. Argentine forces surrendered on June 14, 1982.
Since then, Falkland Islanders have found themselves oppressed by a horrible capitalist regime in the United Kingdom. Sadly, Falkland Islanders have missed the benevolent rule of progressive Argentine Prime Minister Cristina Fernández de Kirchner. They have also missed Argentina’s progressive economic policies, including 137.3% total tax rates, according to a study conducted by the World Economic Forum.
Capitalism has dominated the Falkland Islands since the British returned. Obsessed by bourgeois frivolities, Falkland Islanders have averaged $77,962 per year in annual income — an income showing how far capitalist slavery has destroyed their minds and forced them to work slavishly to feed the capitalist beast. In contrast, Argentinians have averaged $12,425 per year in annual income, leaving far more time to relax and enjoy life.
It’s time to return the Falkland Islands back to Argentina. Argentina’s superior claim to the Falklands is indisputable. As shown below, history proves beyond a reasonable doubt that the Falklands belong to Argentina.
Initial Settlements Show that the Falkland Islands Belong to Argentina
In the early 1700s, the Falkland Islands were completely uninhabited, probably because British whites had killed all of the Native Americans off in an act of genocide common in the period. In 1764, France established a colony at Port St. Louis on East Falkland. France named the colony Îles Malouines, which is the French name for Las Islas Malvinas. Although technically France had established the initial colony on the Falklands, it’s nonetheless clear that Argentina has a superior claim because the term Las Islas Malvinas is essentially a Spanish translation of the original French name.
In 1765, British Captain John Byron explored Saunders Island around West Falkland and claimed the Falklands for Britain. The next year British Captain John MacBride established a permanent British settlement at Port Egmont. However, the British were unaware of the earlier French claims when they claimed the Falklands for the British Empire.
In 1766, France agreed to leave the Falklands after the Spanish complained. Spain assumed control over Port St. Louis the next year, renaming it Puerto Soledad. Although Spain is a different country than Argentina, both Spain and Argentina speak Spanish, and anyone who speaks Spanish is entitled to affirmative action. As a result, it’s clear again that Argentina has a superior claim to the Falklands.
In 1770, Spanish Captain Don Juan Ignacio de Madariaga attacked the British settlement at Port Egmont with five warships from the Spanish Armada and 1,400 soldiers. The British deserved to be attacked because they were clearly colonialists who had engaged in imperialism. On June 10, 1770, Madariaga captured Port Egmont. However, after fears of a wider European war arose, Spain agreed to leave Port Egmont on September 15, 1771. The British then retook control over Port Egmont. Britain later pulled its military forces out of Port Egmont, but British whalers and other vessels continued to visit the Falkland Islands, which the British continued to claim as an overseas British territory. Again, the fact that the British had threatened illegitimate military force against Spain means that it’s clear again that Argentina has a superior claim to the Falklands. War is evil, and the British started it by allowing Madariaga to invade.
In 1811, Spain pulled its garrison out of Puerto Soledad and withdrew from the Falkland Islands. This too means that Argentina has a superior claim to the Falklands because they were obviously leaving the islands to Argentina, even though Argentina technically did not exist yet.
An American Pirate Plants a Flag on the Falklands
In March 1820, an American privateer (i.e., a pirate), David Jewett, briefly landed on the Falklands. At the time, he was operating as a privateer under the protection of a governmental entity called the United Provinces of the Rio de la Plata. For a few days, he flew the United Provinces flag over what had been Puerto Soledad. Then he left. Of course, when a hotel flies the flag of a country, the ownership of the hotel obviously passes to whatever country’s flag is flying. Although that would technically be the United Provinces here, the United Provinces no longer exists. As a result, it’s clear again that that Argentina has a superior claim to the Falklands.
In December 1832, the British government sent two naval vessels back to the Falkland Islands after the United Provinces had threatened to conquer Las Islas Malvinas. A British brig-sloop, HMS Clio, arrived in Port Egmont on December 20, 1832. Another British warship, HMS Tyne, arrived shortly thereafter, and another brig-sloop, HMS Beagle, carrying a young naturalist named Charles Darwin, arrived on March 15, 1833. Again, the fact that the British sent warships indicates clearly that Argentina has a superior claim to the Falklands. War is evil.
After the British returned, the British occupied the empty Puerto Soledad, which they called Port Louis (after the original French name Port St. Louis). In May 1840, the British government decided to promote colonization, and hordes of whites, including many white males, flooded the peaceful islands. The Falkland Islands have remained British since then, except for the brief interlude in 1982. Colonialists are evil. As a result, it’s clear again that Argentina has a superior claim to the Falklands.
Barack Hussein Obama Makes Clear That the “Maldives” Belong to Argentina
In 2012, President Barack Hussein Obama called the Falklands the “Maldives”. Technically, the Maldives are a completely different country based in the Indian Ocean. That said, Obama clearly meant to say “Las Islas Malvinas,” indicating that America’s Greatest President® and Nobel Peace Prize winner had ceded the Falklands to Argentina.
Pope Francis also briefly held a sign saying in Spanish, “It’s time for dialogue between Argentina and the United Kingdom over Malvinas.” As a result, both Obama and the Pope have clearly endorsed Argentine control over the Falkland Islands.
Although 99.8% of Falkland Islanders voted to remain a British overseas territory in 2013, the vote was not unanimous (three Falkland Islanders voted against the referendum), and only 92% of the public even bothered showing up to vote. Plus, it seems likely that the Russians intervened in the election, just as they had in the 2016 U.S. Presidential election between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton.
In sum, the historical record could not be any clearer. The Falkland Islands have been and always will be a part of Argentina. It’s time to restore the Falkland Islands back to Argentina.