Seven-year-old Hailey Dawson loves baseball. She loves stomping her cleats on home plate for yet another run. She loves crushing the ball for yet another base hit. But, most of all, she loves the strikeout.
For Hailey, the strikeout is an art form. Sometimes she clips the corner of the plate. Other times she blasts high fastballs past befuddled hitters. Other times hitters just whiff on knee-buckling pitch movement and jaw-dropping speed. Basically, she makes hitters look completely ridiculous. Her secret? Hailey has a bionic hand.
At birth, you see, doctors diagnosed Hailey with Poland Syndrome, a rare condition causing her right hand to have two fingers instead of five. So two professors at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV), with help from six students, outfitted her with a bionic hand. Little did they know that the gifted seven-year-old would use the bionic hand to turn hitters into complete fools.
So far Hailey has already pitched in Nationals Park in Washington, D.C. and Camden Yards in Baltimore, Maryland. She hopes to throw opening pitches in all 30 Major League Baseball parks. Multiple teams have already contacted the right-handed flamethrower to do so, including the St. Louis Cardinals, Detroit Tigers, New York Mets, Seattle Mariners, Milwaukee Brewers, and Pittsburgh Pirates. According to rumors from well-placed sources, the Chicago White Sox (54-85) and Philadelphia Phillies (53-87) may add Hailey to their starting rotations on a more permanent basis.
Hailey sports a four-seam fastball, a deceptive changeup, and a soul-crushing 12-6 curveball.
Hailey apparently has no relation to Hall of Famer Andre Dawson. In any event, Andre, we suspect, doesn’t have the guts to face Hailey, who wore a shirt to Camden Yards saying, “ALL DAY, EVERY DAY”.
Hailey Dawson, the Accredited Times salutes you.