As a raw vegan and aspiring breatharian, my life revolves around health and well-being. But one thing you may not know about me is that in addition to being a raw food fanatic, I am also a spiritual healer, yogi and practitioner of “energy medicine”. In my discipline, I am trained to heal ailments that have baffled doctors, nutritionists and scientists for centuries, through a series of simple healing techniques involving “energy”, “chi” and the “power of love”. This new age practice allows me to not only heal people of literally any ailment with a 100% success rate (if it doesn’t work, it’s the patient’s fault for not being open enough), it also allows me to read peoples’ minds and predict the future. Literally anything is possible when you learn the ancient energy disciplines that have been practiced for thousands of years by spiritual leaders around the world.
When people come to my practice, they often tell me about a range of different ailments that plague them daily, and ask for my advice. The first thing I tell them is that they shouldn’t see these as ailments. The mere belief that you have an ailment creates the ailment. By simply not believing in the ailment, you drain its “power” and direct your “life force” to positive things instead, like healing and detoxing. When you lift your “aura” and transmute into your positive spirit, you transcend illness, debt, bad relationships and anything else that plagues you. We all inhabit the spiritual world, whether we realize it or not, and merely by entering this “spiritual realm”, you can rise above any so-called problem in your life.
After helping my patients let go of their negative beliefs and spirits, I then bring them into my therapy room, filled with incense, crystal lamps and speakers playing soft, binaural rhythms. I then ask them to lie down on the therapy bed and close their eyes, letting go of any negative thoughts that they are holding onto. We then do a spiritual meditation, in which they focus on energizing each of their “chakras” one by one, until the entire body is healed. I learned this technique from some of the world’s most skilled and experienced traditional Indian healers, who scoffed at my Western beliefs about disease and taught me the real cause of disease – negative energies.
Some of my patients have complained in the past that their disease persisted. Others say it magically vanished a couple of months later. In the first case, I always tell them that they need to be more open to the spiritual dimension, because my healing technique only works on people who have entered a higher state of consciousness. The most important lessons I tell my patients, are “don’t put yourself in one box”, “discover your inner power”, and “let go of negative energy”. Only then can you truly enter a state of “oneness” and live like a true zen master.