West Point, New York (Accredited Times) – Second Lieutenant Spenser Rapone is just like most West Point graduates. Young. White. Privileged. He wears the same uniform as his comrades. He eats the same chow.
Oh, but there’s just one difference: Lt. Rapone, you see, is a communist. A granola-munching “Bernie bro” who loves Karl Marx as much as he loves the Prius that he presumably plans on buying some day. Now he’s found himself in hot water with his goose-stepping Trump-loving superiors.
The incident arose when Comrade Rapone tweeted out a harmless picture of himself pumping a black power solute via his “@punkproletarian”/”Commie Bebop” Twitter ID. Comrade Rapone’s hat also had inscribed the words “COMMUNISM WILL WIN” (duhhhh), and the tweet openly supported NFL kneelers, stating, “#VeteransForKaepernick.”
After the alt-right exploded over the tweet, Comrade Rapone tweeted another message doubling down on his support for communism. The tweet included a picture of him wearing a trendy Che Guevara shirt with the words, “In case there was any lingering doubt, hasta la victoria simpre.”
Trump’s goons in the Army, of course, are now pissed. Army imperialists quickly responded with a statement condemning Comrade Rapone’s actions: “The U.S. Military Academy strives to develop leaders who internalize the academy’s motto of Duty, Honor, Country, and who live the Army values. Second Lieutenant Rapone’s actions in no way reflect the values of the U.S. Military Academy or the U.S. Army.”
The imperialist statement continued: “As figures of public trust, members of the military must exhibit exemplary conduct, and are prohibited from engaging in certain expressions of political speech in uniform. Second Lieutenant Rapone’s chain of command is aware of his actions and is looking into the matter. [West Point] is prepared to assist the officer’s chain of command as required.”
The capitalists’ predictable response, of course, simply highlights the fact that imperialist pigs must control freedom of speech to maintain their control over the proletariat. They censored former NFL superstar Colin Kaepernick (1 win, 10 losses in his final season). Now they want to censor Comrade Rapone.
Fortunately, Comrade Rapone refuses to back down. Comrade Rapone continues to bash the Trump administration forcefully and has even issued other anti-capitalistic tweets, including one tweet calling Secretary of Defense James Mattis “[d]efinitely the most vile, evil fuck in the current administration” and another tweet saying of Vice President Mike Pence: “Holy shit[.] [W]hat world do these people live in? ‘Mediocre and conservative?’ Pence is a fucking medieval, cold-blooded killer.” Secretary Mattis was a four-star general under President Barack Hussein Obama and served as Commander of the United States Central Command.
Not surprisingly, the alt-right has threatened Comrade Rapone under Article 88 of the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which prohibits any “commissioned officer” from using “contemptuous words against the President, the Vice President, Congress, the Secretary of Defense, or [others].” However, as Hillary Clinton has pointed out, Donald Trump was NOT legitimately elected. Russia hacked the election. Therefore, Comrade Rapone has every right to call these frauds “cold-blooded killers.”
Progressives are aflutter over the dreamy Comrade Rapone. Many have raised comparisons between Comrade Rapone and another communist hero: former Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Supported by socialist politicians, Chavez rose through the ranks of the Venezuelan military, eventually becoming a Lieutenant Colonel. In 1977, Chavez founded a revolutionary movement within the Venezuelan military called the Venezuelan People’s Liberation Army (Ejército de Liberación del Pueblo de Venezuela, or ELPV). In 1992, Chavez attempted his first coup d’etat.
Though initially unsuccessful, Chavez kept striving for the communist paradise that he knew all Venezuelans really wanted. In 1998, the Venezuelan people elected Chavez in a free and fair election — declared so by progressive icon and Nobel Peace Prize winner Jimmy Carter. On February 2, 1999, Chavez became the President of Venezuela.
Since then, Venezuela has enjoyed the endless bounties of socialism. Its country has achieved most of the planks of the Communist Manifesto. The country’s economy is an unmitigated success. Senator Bernie Sanders even remarked: “These days, the American dream is more apt to be realized in South America, in places such as Ecuador, Venezuela and Argentina, where incomes are actually more equal today than they are in the land of Horatio Alger.”
Frankly, the military had better be careful how it treats Comrade Rapone. One day, Comrade Rapone may be El Presidente Rapone.