Should Monsanto “Buy The Sun”?

62
380


If eyes are the window to the human soul, a company’s mission statement is the corporate equivalent. A business’s deepest values, beliefs, its purpose for existing, how it wishes to be perceived by the outside world – all is reflected in the mission statement.

I am always troubled when I come across a business’s mission statement which is clearly phony, or bland, or is filled with jargon and makes no sense at all.  Worse yet are corporations which have no mission statement at all; they care only about generating wealth for their shareholders.  They shirk their responsibilities to the communities in which they operate and employ people, and care not a jot for fighting injustices.

How inspirational it is then when one reads Monsanto’s mission statement:

Monsanto is a global modern agriculture company. We develop products and tools to help farmers around the world grow crops while using energy, water, and land more efficiently. We believe innovation has the potential to bring humanity’s needs in balance with the resources of our planeT

Note well: nowhere in the above is there any reference to ‘controlling the world’s food supply’, ‘creating dangerous “Frankenfoods”‘, ‘producing carcinogenic fertilisers and pesticides’, ‘making obscene amounts of money’, or ‘destroying small farmers’ – all baseless accusations which have been levelled against Monsanto by the ranks of the paranoid who spew their conspiracy theories on internet forums. Fortunately, in a totally uncoordinated response, many ordinary people are now going online en masse to rebut the tin-foil crowd. Thanks to these unpaid concerned citizens, no criticism against Monsanto is left unanswered.

A world that is struggling to adapt to the needs of a rapidly growing global population requires strong corporate leadership as exemplified by Monsanto.  The ‘innovation’ and ‘efficiency’ which Monsanto brings to the food chain are essential if we are ever to ‘bring humanity’s needs in balance with the resources of our planet’.

Alas, not all food producers are ‘efficient’ or ‘innovative’.  Take the ranks of small farmers the world over, for example.  In general, they are shameless freeloaders who actively promote the despicable practice of ‘agricultural incest’. We refer to the habit some farmers have of saving and using seeds which are taken from plants grown from ‘parent’ seeds. Their only excuse is that ‘this is how it has been done for millennia’ as though progress is something to be avoided.  Just imagine: if the same argument had been made to justify the continued practice of writing with quill and ink on parchment, we would never have had the computer!

Despite attacks from people who should know better, Monsanto fights agricultural incest. It does this by creating genetically modified sterile seeds, or else getting its customers to volunteer never to save and replant seeds grown from Monsanto grown plants. It takes time and (regrettably) the occasional litigation, but people fit into line eventually.

It is time for us to face the inconvenient truth about food production – we are already struggling to feed the many billions of mouths on this planet; with continued prolific birth-rates, the food shortage will only get worse. Drastic action is therefore needed to stave off a starvation crisis of epic proportions.

For now he has enough to eat, but the future is uncertain.

The United Nations and leading governments can save countless lives by working hand-in-hand with food giants like Monsanto.  The world can benefit from Monsanto’s ‘efficiency’ and ‘innovation’ by willingly allowing Monsanto to control an ever growing share of food production.  This is not only common sense, but also has its basis in simple macroeconomic theory of comparative advantage.

History shows that small farmers and private businesses will not willingly cede their profits and power to Monsanto, however, even in the face of global catastrophe. For this reason, a creative solution is needed.

Our suggestion – which we believe is unique among accredited think-tanks – is for Monsanto be allowed to buy the sun. Our rationale for this radical idea is clear and based on simple science. Since sunlight is necessary for photosynthesis and thus the growing of crops, no other food producers would be permitted to use sunlight without first paying a royalty or commission to Monsanto.

Burdened with having to pay for sunlight, we believe this additional cost would encourage small farmers to become more efficient and innovative. If they do not, they will go out of business and thus pass their agricultural land to a more efficient and innovative producer.  This can only benefit the hungry.

In time, as the accredited cusodian of the sun, we can envisage Monsanto’s innovation benefiting humanity in other ways. Since we know that sunlight is harmful to people and causes skin cancer, Monsanto could devise some sort of ‘sunlight-filter’ in the Earth’s atmosphere. This is clearly years away for now, but the possibilities are endless.

We will need a panel of expert economists to decide what the purchase price of the sun should be, to whom proceeds should be paid (our suggestion: the United Nations on behalf of all humanity) and how sunlight should be regulated for private consumption (‘free use’ at first, provided it is on a non-profit basis).

We only get one chance to save humanity.  It’s time to trust Monsanto.

MillionDollarBonus

Wow what a stunning article Pbier. I absolutely agree that a company’s mission statement is so, so important. Corporations shouldn’t say that their purpose is to make money. We all know that making money is evil. Corporations are about other things like diversity, leadership, innovation and team work. They’re not about making money.

I also agree that we are facing a serious food shortage with the skyrocketing population of people of color. We shouldn’t try to temper this population growth at all – instead we should try to solve the “food problem” and provide more food for this population so they can multiply even more. When I have a cockroach problem in my attic, the first thing I do is give them some food, and what happens is that they immediately stop scurrying about and multiplying, and settle down to have content and happy lives. The same is true of exploding third world populations. If you just give them enough charity, they will eventually stop having infinite children and will instead settle down and live like Europeans and Asians.

And yes, sun is definitely bad for you. We didn’t evolve to use sun. You need to put on lots of sunblock if you choose to go outside, and there’s no real need to go outside anyway these days, when we have virtual reality goggles and video games, which are way better than the outdoors.

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

We taxpayers can excise at least 8,000 USDA bureaucrats if we simply outsource crop research to our great corporations such as Monsanto. Nobody measures what these damn bureaucrats do all day, or what exactly they accomplish every year, and what a career’s worth of overpay gets us. I shall argue we get nothing but a fat ass sorry old bureaucrat. We know they watch porn for 30 years; what else?

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

Excuse me? Without us bureaucrats you wouldn’t be living. You wouldn’t have schools to teach your children, you wouldn’t have pharmaceuticals approved to treat your ED, you wouldn’t have clean fluoridated water coming out of your pipes, and you wouldn’t even have a certificate of live birth or a passport.

WE EDUCATE YOUR CHILDREN
WE HELP THE POOR
WE CONTROL THE MONEY
WE HAVE THE POWER
WE ARE BUREAUCRATS

P.S. Loving the new ads, MDB.

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

All of the above you do. Regardless of cost. How big is your turd cutter? The larger your TC, the closer you are to retiring on taxpayers’ backs. Statistics say so.

#hate-speech

Fake News Real Troll
Fake News Real Troll

Industrial farming has contaminated the earth, increased pesticides in food, and reduced nutrition in the crops.
Industrial food has made people obese, and prone to various illnesses, including cancer.
Yet, without industrial farming and biotech, people will starve (according to Monsanto).
The earth has a carrying capacity and we have exceeded it (according to scientists). Earth is over-populated, and population has to be reduced, according to elites.
Who will have to go? Who will have to revert to primitive farming and hunting?

Abu
Abu

Few million years ago people used to live hundreds of years, but now we barely live over one hundred year. Must we keep continue starving and live in poverty in the name of reducing the world population?

trav777

Hundreds of years? That’s amazing- how do we know this given that writing was only invented a few thousand years ago?

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

Even The Great Mo used Genesis as a reliable historical document.

Who are you to defame the teachings of the The Great Mo?

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

That only applies to Whites, who are a human/Fallen Angel crossbreed.

Blacks always died young.

Fake News Real Troll
Fake News Real Troll

Quite possible that people lived for long in olden days. Today starvation is gone, people are overfed with junk. In a few places where people are starving, there are other issues, armed conflict, or lack of access to land.

If earth has 7 billion people today, then its carrying capacity is more than 7 billion, not less. Our wasteful and violent lifestyle is the real problem, not population.

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat
Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

Just Blacks being Black.

(waves hand)

These are not the droids you are looking for.

Black Lives Matter

Monsanto is now GLOBAL — let’s make it UNIVERSAL!

Give Monsanto the sun!

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Monsanto will sell it back to you–by the hour–but there will be no grants from Trump. Get a job, enjoy the sun, pay your bills.

Black Lives Matter

You know, it just occurred to me: if we give Monsanto the sun, maybe Monsanto can do something about climate change. I never really thought about that before, since it seems like the sun doesn’t really have much to do with climate, but it might work.

Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz

Are you related to Hank Johnson?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cesSRfXqS1Q

Black Lives Matter

Hank Johnson is a genius — he was speaking metaphorically! We have to solve climate change!

Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

…and he even said it was a metaphor… and also an April Fool’s Joke… but I think he was actually trolling the white admiral. The most epic congressional trolling of all time.

intersectionalityisforeveryone
intersectionalityisforeveryone

What about the moon? According to Rudolf Steiner farming ought be done according to moon phases. So shouldn’t moon use be put into the hands of a trustworthy corporate behemoth too?

And according to one of Steiner’s most well known acolytes, seeds should definitely not be planted on Good Friday because the plant world is still sensitive to what happened on the holy rood two millennia ago. In which case I propose Monsanto buy the rights for all Christian imagery and paraphernalia, then it will own both the sun and the Son.

Black Lives Matter

Christianity should be banned.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

It is

In all the countries of the world resembling pigsties.

wpDiscuz