Caracas, Venezuela (Accredited Times) – If there’s one thing the accredited media has taught us, it’s that socialism is awesome! I mean seriously awesome! Once subjected to total government rule, everyone is freer, happier, and, yes, vastly healthier.
As previously reported, Venezuela’s socialist economy has led the way in promoting good health. In 2016 alone, the average Venezuelan lost an amazing 19 pounds thanks to the wonders of socialism. Venezuelans have even called their healthy eating practices the “Maduro Diet” after current progressive Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, who himself is a huge fan of former First Lady Michelle Obama.
The New York Times has now confirmed that the “Venezuelan model” is extraordinarily successful in promoting healthy living. In an article entitled “How a Healthy Economy Can Shorten Life Spans,” the New York Times reports that capitalistic excess actually shortens lifespans while socialistic conservation substantially lengthens lifespans. According to the New York Times, one progressive study found that “a one-percentage point increase in the unemployment rate is associated with a 0.5 percent decline in the overall mortality rate.” Other progressive studies have “found a similar relationship between joblessness and mortality.” Simply put, when people are actually thinking about the welfare of others, rather than themselves, they make the extra effort to spend more on healthy food, like tofu burgers and salted broccoli sticks with extra fluoride. Many also choose meditation and fasting rather than eating the traditional “three meals a day.”
Thanks to socialism, Venezuela’s unemployment rate is now “set to surpass 25% this year, possibly on its way to 28% next year.” Conservation efforts have also helped Venezuela shrink its economy by an amazing 18% in 2016. Fundamentally, Venezuela has thrown off the shackles of bourgeois capitalism and is now starting to learn to live at one with Gaia. As Senator Bernie Sanders explained: ““These days, the American dream is more apt to be realized in . . . Venezuela . . . , where incomes are actually more equal today than they are in the land of Horatio Alger.”
In contrast, under Donald Trump, America’s unemployment rate has declined to 4.2%, which the New York Times characterized as very “discouraging.” Donald Trump is literally killing millions of people with his “America First” economic policies!
Vote for good health! Vote for socialism!