How Venezuela’s Socialist Economy Is Lengthening Lifespans

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Osmariel Villalobos (above) won the "Miss Earth Venezuela" contest in 2011 and represented Venezuela in the "Miss Earth" pageant in 2012, winning the "Miss Earth-Water" title and "Miss Photogenic" award.


Caracas, Venezuela (Accredited Times) – If there’s one thing the accredited media has taught us, it’s that socialism is awesome!  I mean seriously awesome!  Once subjected to total government rule, everyone is freer, happier, and, yes, vastly healthier.

As previously reported, Venezuela’s socialist economy has led the way in promoting good health.  In 2016 alone, the average Venezuelan lost an amazing 19 pounds thanks to the wonders of socialism.  Venezuelans have even called their healthy eating practices the “Maduro Diet” after current progressive Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, who himself is a huge fan of former First Lady Michelle Obama.

The New York Times has now confirmed that the “Venezuelan model” is extraordinarily successful in promoting healthy living.  In an article entitled “How a Healthy Economy Can Shorten Life Spans,” the New York Times reports that capitalistic excess actually shortens lifespans while socialistic conservation substantially lengthens lifespans.  According to the New York Times, one progressive study found that “a one-percentage point increase in the unemployment rate is associated with a 0.5 percent decline in the overall mortality rate.”  Other progressive studies have “found a similar relationship between joblessness and mortality.”  Simply put, when people are actually thinking about the welfare of others, rather than themselves, they make the extra effort to spend more on healthy food, like tofu burgers and salted broccoli sticks with extra fluoride.  Many also choose meditation and fasting rather than eating the traditional “three meals a day.”

Thanks to socialism, Venezuela’s unemployment rate is now “set to surpass 25% this year, possibly on its way to 28% next year.”  Conservation efforts have also helped Venezuela shrink its economy by an amazing 18% in 2016.  Fundamentally, Venezuela has thrown off the shackles of bourgeois capitalism and is now starting to learn to live at one with Gaia.  As Senator Bernie Sanders explained: ““These days, the American dream is more apt to be realized in . . . Venezuela . . . , where incomes are actually more equal today than they are in the land of Horatio Alger.”

In contrast, under Donald Trump, America’s unemployment rate has declined to 4.2%, which the New York Times characterized as very “discouraging.”  Donald Trump is literally killing millions of people with his “America First” economic policies!

Vote for good health!  Vote for socialism!

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

Anon is like the Donald Trump of AT. He trolls outrageous stuff and the AT eventually caves to his demands – hence the image associated with this article.

trav777

How DARE YOU criticize a person of color or even suggest that displaying their image is somehow in poor taste or wrong? She’s a wise latina from a country that is in tune with the earth and rejecting capitalism!

#accredited-times-pick

MillionDollarBonus

I think she may be mostly white though Trav, judging by her skin color. She’s unfortunately promoting the stereotype of whiteness as the standard of beauty by existing, which I find offensive.

Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

Miss South Africa is white and is also a doctor.

Meanwhile Miss Japan is Black.

The whole world is a beautiful melting pot of boiling oppression.

trav777

um, no…she’s only white if she does something wrong or is to blame for something. For anything positive, she is a latina.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

Truth seeps into the brain of even the stupidest Black house nigga.

and the truth is that the path to success is in part through “eye candy”.

#racist

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Venezuelans live like alley cats. MBD has no credibility without hisself living like an alley cat for 3 months, then redo your story. Just don’t be diggin in my trash can, it’s protected by S&W.

#speciesist

MillionDollarBonus

I live in an urban minimalist apartment and grow my own vegan garden. I was also a student of Critical Race Theory who could barely afford his six jumbo size lattes a day on his student loan. I’ve had my fair share of suffering.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

Aren’t you supposed to be subsisting on air, through breathology?

You BACKSLIDER!

Ted Cruz
Ted Cruz

And two bubble baths per day.

drb6
drb6

I’d rather prefer that Miss Earth would be a 500 lb African transgendered womyn. However, it seems that fatphobia and transgenderism as well as white privilege have infiltrated even Miss Earth pageant.

#accredited-times-pick

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

Is s(he) named Bubba?

MillionDollarBonus

Lame joke as usual Mr Brony.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

If you ever want to laugh at a lame joke, look in the mirror.

#fake-news

Pbier

What is amusing to you when you look in the mirror may not always apply to non-Bronies. Just a thought.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

Admit it

Every time MDB takes a deep breath in an attempt to get nutrients from the air, you snicker behind his back.

MillionDollarBonus

Well I certainly snicker behind your back as you kill yourself with meat and fatty foods.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

Just had some steak, and I am DYING

I figure the process will take at least another 2-3-4 decades.

MillionDollarBonus

There you go, that was a bit funnier. Not as funny as your moniker though.

MillionDollarBonus

My thoughts also. She is from Venezuela though which is somewhat redeeming. Fatphobia is definitely a huge problem right now. It’s the stereotypes of thinness in the media and magazines that has caused people to find fat unattractive – it’s not biology.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

and don’t forget reducing that waistline.

The average Venezuelan probably lost 20-30 pounds in the past year.

Pbier

Anon, why are you so dumb? It’s a serious question. None of us understand your entire failure to perceive reality.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

To the cretins of the world genius looks like stupidity

because it is beyond their comprehension.

MillionDollarBonus

This is another great example of how more freedom is a bad thing. Libertarians and right-wing extremists always think that more freedom leads to more happiness and longer lives, but as this article shows, when people have too much freedom, they make bad choices like eating at MacDonald’s. Venezuelans don’t have that choice, and many of them don’t have jobs or internet access, so they’re instead fasting and following the breatharian diet while spending more quality time with their families and enjoying nature. This is how we were supposed to live – in a world in which our basic needs are met, but we are not consumed by the materialistic pleasures of capitalist excess. This is why we need to tax the rich at 90% and bring everyone down to the same level. Then everything will be fair and we will all live healthier and happier lives.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

That only applies to Blacks who have too much freedom..

Neurotic white women tend to go vegan, while neurotic white men turn gay in order to get their protein.

Jews on the other hand, lie about embracing breathology

Normal whites just tend to go for BBQ.

#sexist

#homophobic

MillionDollarBonus

At least we don’t eat pork like you filthy goyim.

Ronnie McFatburger and Fries
Ronnie McFatburger and Fries

Kim Jong Un instituted a two-meal-a-day policy in North Korea for the health benefits of the amazing North Korean Peoples. When you see pictures of their frail emaciated bodies you just can’t help but be envious of their fat-body ratio. Venezuela would do well to emulate the Dear Leader in this regard. The health of the great Venezuelan People is at stake.

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

Just so you know, the food shortages in Venezuela are not real – they are a false flag orchestrated by the CIA to try and de-socialize Venezuela so that US oil companies can start buying up oil reserves for pennies on the dollar.

That is not to say that they shouldn’t follow in the footsteps of Kim Jong Un.

#accredited-times-pick

drb6
drb6

You are 100% correct. Zerohedge says that everything is false flag – in this case I completely agree with them. Fucking white males from CIA are trying to steal Venezuelan oil.

MillionDollarBonus

Yes you’re so right! The food shortage in Venezuela is DEFINITELY a false flag! I haven’t seen the evidence for this theory, but I like the theory, so that’s enough for me.

Aishas molested wardrobe
Aishas molested wardrobe

In other news

I think thus guy should be classed as a “reaction-ary”

https://www.rt.com/uk/407106-barry-ahmad-murder-stab/?utm_source=spotim&utm_medium=spotim_recirculation&spotim_referrer=recirculation&spot_im_comment_id=sp_6phY2k0C_407106_c_cHr3Ut

A post-mortem found Ahmed had suffered injuries to his face, head and neck, with 25 stab wounds to his face and eyes. There were also stab wounds to his stomach, right arm and left wrist; his penis had been cut off after death.

The court heard Barry had a long-standing grudge against Iraqi-born Ahmad, and had called police weeks before claiming he was a rapist, a paedophile and a terrorist.

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