Despite what many think, looks and power are not the only things progressives envy. Although most of us will never admit it to you, the thing we envy most of all is intelligence. There isn’t a progressive alive who hasn’t fantasized about being a Harvard professor and dazzling others with their other-worldly intellect, suave dress code and aristocratic mannerisms. To have nobody dare to question you, and to have hoards of envious people at your feet, as you attend economic summits and New York cocktail parties, while writing papers on how to engineer other peoples’ lives, is the deepest fantasy of every progressive. The good news is, you don’t have to be a Harvard professor to garner the respect and admiration that comes with such a lofty profession – you can raise your perceived IQ by simply looking the part.
All over the progressive world, from inner city African American university campuses, to hip metrosexual suburbs of San Francisco, progressives are dressing to look smart. Take the metrosexual hipsters from New York City, Los Angeles and forward-thinking towns all over Europe for example. Their style artfully blends the sophistication of old fashioned bicycles, the faux-masculinity of 18th century beards, the metrosexuality of gelled back hair and the squeaky clean male feminist look of a cleanly ironed tight shirt and skinny jeans. And to top it off, they add a dash of cologne, and of course, glasses, the ultimate marker of intelligence and class.
Next we have the black hipster, which is a rising trend among smart young black social justice warriors who want to show the world how smart and informed they are. These educated young black people understand that critical race theory and gender studies are the most important subjects one can learn, and are perfectly equivalent to STEM degrees, with complex words like whiteness and intersectionality. But reading about marginalization and white privilege just isn’t quite the same without glasses, dreadlocks, lipstick and a look of angered entitlement on your face.
So if you feel inadequate, and want to show the world that you are smart and not to be contradicted, then dress the part. When people believe you are smart, and more importantly, when you believe that you are smart, people will treat you with the respect and reverence that you deserve. So whip on those glasses, slip on a cleanly ironed checkered shirt, and mosey on down to your local coffee shop on your old-fashioned bicycle for your daily soy latte. And as you sit cross-legged, sipping your coffee and reading a book on interior design, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and know that you are smart.