The Scandal Of Barcelona’s Cultural Appropriation Of Australian Termites’ Architecture

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Barcelona, Al-Andalus (Accredited Times) – As the latest Catalonian insurrection looks finally to have been thwarted, and the trouble-makers safely behind bars, the people of Al-Andalus (aka ‘Spain’) hoped peace would once again prevail in their land. Alas, an even greater threat than Catalonian separation is on the horizon.  This is a sad story of an audacious fraud, and a possible world-first for cultural appropriation from insect life.

Renowned Catalonian architect, Antoni Gaudi, (1852-1926) has long been revered in Al-Andalus.  Admirers of his work flock to Barcelona to see examples of his highly distinctive and individual architectural style, termed ‘Catalan Modernism’.  His most famous work is the Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Familia (eng ‘cathedral of the Holy Family – see featured image).  Gaudi ‘designed’ this cathedral over 40 years, although the building itself was left unfinished after his death.

As the Britannica encylopaedia describes it, ‘In his drawings and models for the church of the Holy Family (only one transept with one of its four towers was finished at his death), Gaudí equilibrated the cathedral-Gothic style beyond recognition into a complexly symbolic forest of helicoidal piers, hyperboloid vaults and sidewalls, and a hyperbolic paraboloid roof that boggle the mind and outdo the bizarre concrete shells built throughout the world in the 1960s by engineers and architects inspired by Gaudí.’

Having been to Barcelona and seen the Sagrada Familia for myself, I agree that it is easy to be awe-struck by the building’s beauty and admire the stunning architecture and the Genius of Gaudi himself.

There is just one problem. Australian termites and not Gaudi designed and built the Sagrada Familia. Far from intending the structure to be consecrated by the Catholic Church, the termites actually intended the building to be a colony.

Our claim may seem like bizarre historical revisionism of the highest order, but we have cast-iron proof that the Sagrada Familia is a termite colony.

Only yesterday, for example, Professional atheist Richard Dawkins tweeted this photo of a near-identical ‘cathedral’ found in Queensland, Australia.

Were he alive, Antoni Gaudi would no doubt claim that this was another of his works, with the Catholic Church no doubt following swiftly behind to consecrate it and remove the termites.

Meanwhile, Professor Dawkins did not have to wait too long before a termite expert was able to confirm that ‘cathedral termites’ were indeed the architects of the colony shown in his tweet:

A quick peruse on the internet shows hundreds of termite structures all resembling the Sagrada Familia.  To our knowledge, however, only one human (so he claims) has ‘built’ a termite colony.

Occham’s Razor dictates that, given many different explanations for a given situation, the simplest one is most likely to be correct. We can therefore be quite sure that Australian termites build the Sagrada Familia, possibly during a backpacking visit of Barcelona.  It is time that we recognise their glorious architectural achievement and consign Gaudi to historical oblivion.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

So let me get this straight. Pesticide companies like Orkin and mass media who have been telling us that the termites that ‘infested’ our homes was a bad thing is nothing but a scam.
These perpetrators then charge us huge amounts of money for them to spray toxic chemicals to exterminate gods creatures.
Where if we left the termites to do their work, I could be living in a beautiful castle?
This scam is bigger than Madoff and could actually solve our nations housing crises.
Great work Pbier.

Teller of Truth
Teller of Truth

Pbier, I think you are a little ahead of the times here. Within 30 years, this will no doubt be a serious issue worthy of many lawsuits; but the progressive sheeplings just aren’t willing to dive off this cliff of speciesist cultural appropriation just yet.

MillionDollarBonus

A very compelling case Pbier. Cultural appropriation of animals is the worst form of specialism, and it’s no surprise of course that this hate crime was perpetrated by a white male. Spain also belongs to Muslims, who were chased out of Southern Spain a long time ago by racists.

trav777

Chased out?!?!?!

They were ethnically cleansed by evil spaniards who resented their refugee immigration in 711!! They were only in Spain looking for a better life and were hated solely for the color of their skin!

The worst offender was Charles Martel, who in 732, began the ethnic cleansing.

The Final Conclusion of this cleansing was in 1492, for which muslims had immigrated to Jerusalem before the evil Crusades as revenge for. The Prophet Muhammad CLEARLY drove a magic donkey to Jerusalem, so muslims had a RIGHT to be there and it is THEIR LAND.

MillionDollarBonus

Yes ethnically cleansed, I apologize. People of color have a right to be wherever they are or go, white people do not have a right to be wherever they are or go.

TedCruz
TedCruz

We must immediately send these termites to all US ghettos to eradicate every bit of black wood extant.

#racist

TedCruz
TedCruz

Ghettoes must be converted to cathedrals! WTF wrong with AT?

Black Lives Matter

Black is beautiful.

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