Barcelona, Al-Andalus (Accredited Times) – As the latest Catalonian insurrection looks finally to have been thwarted, and the trouble-makers safely behind bars, the people of Al-Andalus (aka ‘Spain’) hoped peace would once again prevail in their land. Alas, an even greater threat than Catalonian separation is on the horizon. This is a sad story of an audacious fraud, and a possible world-first for cultural appropriation from insect life.
Renowned Catalonian architect, Antoni Gaudi, (1852-1926) has long been revered in Al-Andalus. Admirers of his work flock to Barcelona to see examples of his highly distinctive and individual architectural style, termed ‘Catalan Modernism’. His most famous work is the Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Familia (eng ‘cathedral of the Holy Family – see featured image). Gaudi ‘designed’ this cathedral over 40 years, although the building itself was left unfinished after his death.
As the Britannica encylopaedia describes it, ‘In his drawings and models for the church of the Holy Family (only one transept with one of its four towers was finished at his death), Gaudí equilibrated the cathedral-Gothic style beyond recognition into a complexly symbolic forest of helicoidal piers, hyperboloid vaults and sidewalls, and a hyperbolic paraboloid roof that boggle the mind and outdo the bizarre concrete shells built throughout the world in the 1960s by engineers and architects inspired by Gaudí.’
Having been to Barcelona and seen the Sagrada Familia for myself, I agree that it is easy to be awe-struck by the building’s beauty and admire the stunning architecture and the Genius of Gaudi himself.
There is just one problem. Australian termites and not Gaudi designed and built the Sagrada Familia. Far from intending the structure to be consecrated by the Catholic Church, the termites actually intended the building to be a colony.
Our claim may seem like bizarre historical revisionism of the highest order, but we have cast-iron proof that the Sagrada Familia is a termite colony.
Only yesterday, for example, Professional atheist Richard Dawkins tweeted this photo of a near-identical ‘cathedral’ found in Queensland, Australia.
Were he alive, Antoni Gaudi would no doubt claim that this was another of his works, with the Catholic Church no doubt following swiftly behind to consecrate it and remove the termites.
Meanwhile, Professor Dawkins did not have to wait too long before a termite expert was able to confirm that ‘cathedral termites’ were indeed the architects of the colony shown in his tweet:
A quick peruse on the internet shows hundreds of termite structures all resembling the Sagrada Familia. To our knowledge, however, only one human (so he claims) has ‘built’ a termite colony.
Occham’s Razor dictates that, given many different explanations for a given situation, the simplest one is most likely to be correct. We can therefore be quite sure that Australian termites build the Sagrada Familia, possibly during a backpacking visit of Barcelona. It is time that we recognise their glorious architectural achievement and consign Gaudi to historical oblivion.