Men: 5 Things You Should Never do on a First Date

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It’s no secret that womyn are sick and tired of men. On the one hand, they want men to “man up” and be masculine, but on the other hand they want them to be soft and sensitive. Sometimes they want men not to touch their breasts because it’s rape, and other times they want men to treat them rough like Christian Grey. They want men to be rich and have money, but they also don’t want men to show off and be ostentatious, unless they do want them to show off and be ostentatious. All round, womyn are just sick and tired of pathetic men and their inability to satisfy womyn, unless we’re talking about Muslim and black men, who are all catches, even if they have little to no income or looks on average. So, with this in mind, I’ve put together list of the top things womyn are sick and tired of men doing on a first date, so that you pathetic men might at least be able to get through a date without offending a womyn, let alone taking her home.

Under Or Over Dress

Like, seriously? Men seem to think that a first date is either football game or a night at the opera. Find a middle ground! Don’t turn up in a suit if you’re not super rich, and don’t turn up in some sweater that looks like it was knitted by your grandmother either! Dressing rich when you’re not is also considered RAPE by feminists, so dress to match your income or you may have a lawsuit on your hands.

Being Over or Under Confident

There’s nothing a womyn hates more than a faker. Acting under confident just makes you look pathetic and acting overconfident just makes you look like jerk. Womyn want modest men, but also cocky men, or neither. So don’t screw this up ok, guys? Can you do something right for once in your lives?

Talk About Your Ex’s

No womyn wants to hear about your long string of casual affairs ok? Womyn are special, and when you’re taking a womyn on date, she is the most special person on this planet, and she doesn’t want you to remind her that there are other womyn out there. She is the only womyn on this planet when she’s on a date with you, but you are not the only man – you’re dispensable and she has all the cards. So make her feel that way ok?

Talk About Money

No girl wants to hear about how much money you have ok? Despite what I said above, womyn don’t like money. They’re not impressed with your fancy watch or expensive car, and they couldn’t care less about your income. NEWSFLASH: A womyn can provide for herself in the 21st Century, and she doesn’t need your money, men! Don’t be so full of yourselves as to think that a womyn likes you because you’re rich. You may find that your dates are more successful when you are, but that’s probably for other reasons, like your sensitivity and some random quality in you that womyn like. Just remember that even if you’re rich, you have no cards in the dating game. You’re worthless, and every womyn is special and valuable.

Look At Her Inappropriately

A womyn does not want you gawking at her breasts or drooling over her in a restaurant! She may be wearing a low cut top, but she does that for herself, not for you! Womyn don’t like to be lusted over, or stared at, even by the men they are dating. All they want is for a sensitive, kind and compassionate man to talk to and to comfort her. So don’t stare at your date, and especially don’t stare at her breasts, men! If you can’t control yourself, then just excuse yourself and go outside for a second, until you can come back and act like a gentleman ok? Jeez, get it together guys!

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31 Comments on "Men: 5 Things You Should Never do on a First Date"

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Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

I’m just sick and tired, period!

Pbier

Etiquette on entering a door with a womyn:

– Do NOT open it for her. She is quite capable of opening the door herself
– Don’t rush ahead of her and enter first; this is a patriarchal action suggesting you are more important than her
– Don’t just let her go first through the door. she will assume you are trying to gawp at her backside
– Don’t make her do the hard work by having to open the door for you. Man up FFS!
– Don’t make the mistake of actually asking who should go through the door first. There’s Nothing womyn hate more than an indecisive man
– Don’t assume anything either; it’s always better to check first

#accredited-times-pick

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

What if the girls LIKE IT DIRTY, voted Trump, and never watch CNN? They’re my type. You can have the psychos, yappers and Obamacare addicts.

Black Lives Matter

5 things you should do:

– Call yourself a feminist
– Rant about Trump
– Tell her how oppressed womyn and People of Color are
– Pay for a lavish meal, even if she starts making clear that she isn’t interested in you; make sure to let her order dessert too
– Apologize profusely about everything

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

-Wear hair gel and cologne, and moisturize your hand’s for Allah’s sake.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Dating, WTF is that?

Us Digisexuals are smart enough to take the money we would have wasted on meals/dates for ungrateful females and invest in the latest technology.

As soon as they make a robot that will get up and make a decent sandwich and fetch a beer the species with the XX chromosome will become obsolete.

#sexist

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

Dating is a technique that can only be pursued through accredited applications such as Tinder that are designed to provide mutual consent. Don’t you dare try to ask a womyn out for a date in person – that is clearly sexual harassment.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Those apps are discriminatory. I always get swiped to the left.
I even replaced my profile pic with Joe Bartons (Since he is more attractive than me and has had luck with the ladies) and still struck out.

Inland Empire Latina That Loves To Wear PINK
Inland Empire Latina That Loves To Wear PINK

***~#LOL~*** u r soooo rite!!!

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