City Boy Can Survive

31
323


The internet can be a daunting place for a progressive sometimes. Simply express your support for Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, or feminism and you’ll often be the subject of vicious verbal abuse, as right wingers label you a “cuck”, “pussy” or “wimp”. If you happen to also mention that you work in an office job and don’t understand why we need manufacturing or coal mining jobs in the 21st Century, you will also be immediately met with anger and aggression from self-proclaimed “tough guys” from rural America. It almost seems fashionable among right wingers to work a manual labor profession and to be from a hick state, which I find rather baffling. And after doing some more research into this puzzling masculinity complex, I came across this shocking video, by confederate flag-waving country artist Hank Williams Jn., titled “Country Boy Can Survive”:

The song gloats about how tough and masculine white men from the country are, and how self-sufficient they are, which I thought was quite comical. Has this redneck not got the memo yet that masculinity is a cage? Why make so much effort to be masculine when there’s no point! You can just be passive and docile. Trying to “man up” all the time is stupid, like Harry’s Shaving Company said in their advert. And you don’t need to be “self-sufficient” when you’ve got smart phones, tablet, public transport and self-driving cars.

So I thought to myself, let me teach those right wingers a lesson and write my own song, “City Boy can Survive”, that shows just how much better life in a modern progressive city is than rural America. So let’s go:

(Start music)

“Keith Olbermann says it’s the end of time
And the Russian hackers are tappin’ every wire,
The interest is down and the stock markets up
And you only get mocked if you go downtown

I live back in the city, you see
My smart phone and macbook and the cat and me
I got a Prius and a vape and an anti-Trump sign
And a city boy can survive, city folks can survive!

I can write articles all day long
I can protest Trump from dusk ’til dawn
Buy our own soy lattes and our own tofu
Ain’t too many things these boys can’t do
We buy good old tomatoes and strawberry wine
And city boy can survive, city folk can survive!

Because you can’t bum us out and you can’t spoil our fun
And we’re them healthy boys who stay out of the sun
We love Islam and we don’t eat ham
If you ain’t into that, we don’t give a damn!

We came from the California where the bright sun shines
Working government jobs with no deadlines
We can use foundation and our cologne smells fine
And a city boy can survive, city folks can survive

I had a good friend in Tennesse
He never called me by my name just lil’ pussy
My Grandma taught me how to be a writing man
And his taught him to live off the land

He used to send me pictures of the Starry Nights
And I’d send him some strawberry wine
But he was killed by a man with a switchblade knife
For forty three dollars, my friend lost his life

I’d love to spray some pepper spray in that dudes eyes
And shout “racist” as he takes a nosedive
‘Cause a city boy can survive
City folks can survive!

‘Cause you can’t bum us out and you can’t spoil our fun
And we’re them healthy boys who stay out of the sun
We love Islam and we don’t eat ham
If you ain’t into that, we don’t give a damn!

We’re from South California and New York City
And large cities all around this land
We can use foundation and our cologne smells fine
And a city boy can survive, city folks can survive
City boy can survive, city folks can survive!”

Leave a Reply

31 Comments on "City Boy Can Survive"

Notify of
avatar
Photo and Image Files
 
 
 
Audio and Video Files
 
 
 
Other File Types
 
 
 
TedCruz
TedCruz

“Rednecks” never get memos. And there’s no lib wiener like you could ever aspire to be named Sue.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR5XGTpophI

trav777

We are sad to say that Trav’s excellent comment was scrubbed by Russian Hackers before it could reach too many budding progressive minds. May it rest in peace.

drb6
drb6

An excellent analysis, but I would go even further. If the population democratically votes for something that progressives do not like, that is not real democracy! A few examples – Swiss voted against voting rights for womyn until 1970’s, and that was not democracy! Hungarian population voted, democratically, for Orban, who is against progressive values such as unlimited immigration of uneducated people and Soros foundation, so that was not democracy either, even though vote for Orban was fair. I have a recollection that one country in Europe voted against Euro a few times. Vote was repeated until the necessary result (e.i. yes) was achieved!

trav777

That’s not real democracy. Real democracy would never give us a non-progressive result. It would always be fascism and should be responded to with peaceful violence and should never be tolerated, all in the name of tolerance.

Crimea’s retrocession was NOT democracy because we did not like it.

Abu
Abu

“Use political power to take what they simply want from the country” wow! What a wonderful expression Trav.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

It’s called stealing

trav777

No, motherfucker, it’s called DEMOCRACY

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Stealing!

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

You may have stumbled onto your life’s work… as a vegan butcher. Fix this one, commie!

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Vegan Butcher?

Say it is not so!

I think the carrots turned so pale that they can now be mistaken for parsnips

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

WOW MDB If only you were a black rapper, I truly think there could be a Grammy in this for you.

Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

I was reading on CNN that the Grammy voters finally learned their lesson this year and didn’t nominate any white males for the top awards. Huge celebrations are taking place on CNN and TheRoot but conservative whites are pretending like it’s no big deal – pretending like they think something as important as the Grammy’s is stupid anyway. Losers!

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

I prefer to refer to them as “Spawn of Satan”

Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

That is some epic song writing.

The good thing is, society is doing a lot of things to prevent rednecks from surviving the way Hank envisioned in his day. For instance, I hear all the time how rednecks can no longer fix their own cars because of all of the computers in them. Think a redneck can fix a 2015 4X4 truck? I don’t think so! But an urban hacker can figure out the multitudes of layers of a modern 4WD computer system and make headway towards diagnosing the problem.

trav777

no they can’t. Urban hackers know jack shit about embedded control systems within industrial vehicles. Only a supersmart black scientist could figure out such a thing. Because vibranium.

Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

And your accredited car dealership that has the unlock code and very well trained employees.

Black Lives Matter

This song is amazing! A progressive anthem!

wpDiscuz