Who Should Have Been Selected for the College Football Playoff?

22
206


Are you ready for some football?  As many have heard, the College Football Playoff Committee selected four teams yesterday to compete for the 2018 College Football Playoff National ChampionshipClemson, Oklahoma, Georgia, and Alabama.  College football fans erupted either in cheers of delight or jeers of anguish.

Many have wondered whether the Committee made the right selections.  Should the Committee have selected those four squads?  The answer, quite clearly, is “no.”  After a careful analysis, here are the four teams that clearly should have been selected to play for the national championship:

First, it’s clear that Harvard should have been selected.  Although Harvard only finished the season at 5-5, Harvard is known as being the best at EVERYTHING.  Simply put, if you go to Harvard, you are simply the best.  Harvard’s magic pixie dust rubs off on you and automatically makes you vastly more amazing than everyone else.  Not surprisingly, Harvard is highly accredited in football, having officially won 12 prior national championships — although it honestly should have won every prior national championship simply by virtue of being Harvard.  Under the circumstances, we are astounded that Harvard has been denied the opportunity to play for the national championship this season.  Harvard is about equal opportunity.  It should not have been denied equal opportunity here.

Similarly, just as Harvard deserved to be selected, Yale deserved to be selected as well.  Yale is commonly recognized as the #2 university in the world behind Harvard.  Although technically Yale finished with a superior 9-1 record this season, Yale is still obviously second-best to Harvard — but clearly better than everyone else.  Known as the “Gay Ivy,” Yale adds much needed diversity, particularly on the LGBT front.  As ESPN’s coverage of the Michael Sam episode reveals, homosexuality is extremely important in college football.  Notably, both Hillary and Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton both graduated from Yale Law School.  Although Hillary flunked the bar exam and Bill was subsequently disbarred, Yale’s amazing alumni roster shows that it is clearly among the best at everything, including college football.  Notably, Yale has won 27 prior national championships in college football — far more than any of the teams selected this year.  Yale undoubtedly deserves to play for another one this year.

The third choice was a close call — Princeton or Columbia?  We went with Columbia.  Both are Ivy League superpowers.  Although Princeton has 28 prior national championships compared to just one for Columbia, Princeton is way too WASPish for our “hot-sauce-in-a-handbag” taste.  Columbia is much edgier and more diverse.  Moreover, Columbia finished the season at an excellent 8-2 while Princeton limped to a pathetic 5-5 record — making Princeton clearly undeserving of a spot in the national championship.  Notably, Barack Hussein Obama attended Columbia University at the undergrad level.  That means Columbia is clearly the best at everything.  Columbia undoubtedly deserves to play for the championship as well.

Finally, we selected Howard University for our final spot.  Known as the “Black Harvard,” Howard is just as good as Harvard at everything — only blacker and therefore better.  In selecting schools, we also needed a diversity pick to meet the mandatory 25% quota for oppressed People of Color.  Although Howard only finished at 7-4 this season and has never won a national championship, Howard is a historically black university and is based in the #1 ranked city in the country — Washington, D.C.  Everything from Washington, D.C. is good, including Howard.  Howard should undoubtedly be in the playoffs as well.

The facts could not be any clearer:  Harvard, Yale, Columbia, and Howard deserve to play for a national championship.  We demand that the College Football Playoff Committee remedy the situation immediately.

Leave a Reply

22 Comments on "Who Should Have Been Selected for the College Football Playoff?"

Notify of
avatar
Photo and Image Files
 
 
 
Audio and Video Files
 
 
 
Other File Types
 
 
 
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding
Stick Your Proof In My Pudding

IT IS A TRAVESTY THAT ALL 4 TEAMS SELECTED ARE FROM TRUMP STATES!

MillionDollarBonus

I totally agree. Harvard is definitely the world’s best university. Those MIT nerds and Cambridge scientists can’t compete with Harvard’s doctors and humanities graduates. From the “shrieking girl” video, it looks like Princeton is pretty good too, as it’s almost all people of color. Whites are so stupid. Why does affirmative action even allow them to study at all? In South Africa, only blacks are allowed to study, along with a couple of token white womyn. Even though whites supposedly built the universities. America needs to ban whites from studying too, and make all universities safe spaces for people of color. It’s NOT OK to be white! Saying it’s ok to be white is triggering for people of color!

Pbier

MDB is being his usual humble self, so let me say it on his behalf. It is a traversty beyond belief that Portland Community College was not selected. After all, just where would we be without CRT studies? Exactly.

MillionDollarBonus

Thanks Pbier. I wanted to mention it, but I felt guilty for putting my own university out there. It’s saddening that a university of such high acclaim as Portland Community College, with its world-renowned Critical Race Theory department, is not on the list. Here’s a video of a recent lecture at PCC:

I really miss that place.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Clearly the College selection committee are all KKK members and white racist Supremacist!

Where are all these schools located? The South!
Where is the KKK from? The South!
Where are All White Racists From? The South!
Where are All White Supremacists from? The South!
Where Did Trump give his latest speech? The South!

They may as well be flying the Confederate flag with these picks!

trav777

Sorry- I must correct you. White racists are from everywhere. All white people are racist, it is in the original definition of the term as either coined by Trotsky (Bronstein) or Hirschfeld.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Are we racist because we hate Jews (since jews killed Jesus and are financial leeches) or because we hate Blacks (due to so many of them being criminals and them being welfare leeches), or is it both?

#hate-speech

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

I believe that if Harvard is in the playoff, that the other team should be composed of 100% Blacks.

That way the Jews of Harvard can eat dirt at the hands of the Blacks that they have so often fooled.

#hate-speech

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

I’m boycotting football 100% until the last miserable protester-player kowtows to Trump.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

I can’t boycott because the last time I watched a game voluntarily was over 20 years ago.

In my book, drinking at a bar, with a game in the background, on a dozen screens, does not count as voluntary.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Pictures of empty stadiums bring joy to my heart.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Based on the number of hits for this article

It seems that the NFL Boycott extends to not reading articles on football

wpDiscuz