I Took a Vacation To Venezuela … and it Was Awesome!

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Venezuela – land of equal opportunity and pristine natural beauty. A land where dreams come true and anything is possible, Venezuela is one of the world’s premier recreational and educational holiday destinations. Where else can you sip a tequila and watch a tropical sunset, while experiencing first hand what it is like living in a socialist paradise? Many of you may be under the misconception that Venezuela is a dangerous and poverty-stricken nation, but anyone who has actually experienced it first hand will tell you that this is far from the truth. But I didn’t want to just take peoples’ word for it, so I packed my bags, bought a ticket to Caracas, and headed off to experience it first hand.

As I stepped off the airplane at Caracas airport, I was welcomed by a group of vibrant Venezuelan kids who were eager to help with my bags. I politely declined their generous offer though because I didn’t think it was right for a former white male to burden these young people of color with my luggage. As I dragged my luggage to the arrivals terminal, I was met with stern looks from many of the staff, who were no doubt rightfully wondering what a white male was doing in their country and how I was planning to exploit them. But I didn’t let it dampen my mood, and proceeded to flag down a taxi, who charged a very reasonable fee of 3000 Bolivars for the 10 mile journey to my hotel. The taxi ride gave me my first opportunity to see first hand whether the horror stories I’d heard about Venezuela were true or not, and immediately my fears were put to rest, as I saw people solemnly waiting in long lines in order to receive their daily rations. “How progressive!”, I thought, as I smiled. If only America provided free food and necessities like Venezuela does – it’d be so much better.

An orderly queue for free food and toiletries, photographed from the taxi. If only America was this civilized.

As I arrived at my hotel, I was escorted to the reception by a team of security guards, who seemed on edge for some reason. After checking in, I opened my curtains to a simply breathtaking view of Caracas. From a bird’s eye perspective, it was difficult to tell Venezuela apart from a typical city in America. High rise buildings, parks, and beautiful 19th century architecture (no doubt build after the conquistadors granted Venezuela independence) gave the city the atmosphere of a peaceful Spanish seaside town, combined with the hustle and bustle of a modern diverse city.

The view from my hotel window

After taking a well-deserve nap, I put on my swimming trunks, slipped 20,000 Bolivars into my pocket, and headed off to the beach. During the taxi ride, I noticed a couple of angry-looking protesters battling with riot police, which I guess is something you see in every country, no matter how progressive.

Progressives protesting for more food. As third world populations rise, and low skill jobs are automated away, protesting for a living instead of working will soon become the norm.

I sighed to myself, as we left the city and headed for the seaside – I guess some things never change.

The beach was a different kind of place altogether, and I was far from the only tourist. White people, rich people from other parts of South America, and even a few Asians were frolicking in the water, laughing and relaxing with tequilas on deck chairs, as friendly Venezuelans tentatively catered to their every need. Heavily armed security guards surrounded the beach enclosure and made us feel very safe and secure. I met a gay couple from Spain there, and we hit it off immediately, and I learned about all the amazing gay and trans hot spots throughout South America. We drank so many tequilas and soy pina coladas I couldn’t count, and we partied all night long to salsa music while beautiful coconut-laced, scantily-clad Venezuelan ladies served us drinks.

All in all, I can’t say that I experienced the horror and chaos that right-wingers are always going on about. My holiday was fab, and I can’t recommend a Venezuelan vacation highly enough. If you’re worried about the crime, then maybe it’s you who is at fault. You shouldn’t judge people for being potential criminals. Give them the benefit of the doubt, and if they do actually assault or rob you, then you can judge. But letting fear of crime stop you from enjoying a Venezuelan vacation is racist and ignorant.

Venezuelan Vacation Testimonials

Bernie Sanders: “These days, the American dream is more apt to be realized in South America, in places such as Ecuador, Venezuela and Argentina, where incomes are actually more equal today than they are in the land of Horatio Alger. I highly recommend Venezuela as both a holiday destination and as a place to live permanently.”

Jeremy Corbyn: “Thanks Hugo Chavez for showing that the poor matter and wealth can be shared. He made massive contributions to Venezuela & a very wide world. Venezuela is an excellent choice for a vacation.”

Michael Moore: “Hugo Chavez declared the oil belonged 2 the ppl. He used the oil $ 2 eliminate 75% of extreme poverty, provide free health & education 4 all. I’ve been vacationing in Venezuela for years, and still am to this day, despite all the nonsense circulating about how much it has degenerated.”

Joseph Stieglitz (Economic Nobel Laureate): “Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez appears to have had success in bringing health and education to the people in the poor neighborhoods of Caracas. Venezuela is always at the top of my list when I’m planning a vacation.”

Jesse Jackson: “Hugo fed the hungry. He lifted the poor. He raised their hopes. He helped them realize their dreams. And, so, today we do mourn, because we’ve lost a lot. But we have a lot left – a stable government, an orderly transition. There’s no better place that I’d rather be than Venezuela.”

Black Lives Matter

Wow, I definitely have to schedule a vacation there. It is so funny that you hooked up with a gay couple there. Venezuela is so tolerant and progressive. If anyone has any doubts about socialism, they need to check out Venezuala for themselves. Hooray for equality!

trav777

It seems to be an absolute paradise…the socialist agitation, the anger, the protesting injustice. Sign me up!!!

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

You undoubtedly stood tall among the natives. Tourista keep their stacks of Bolivars in their shoes in the event they meet friendly Bandidos who wish to discuss finances. How were the drugs?

drb6
drb6

Flagged as microaggression. Not drugs, but mood-enhancing substances.

drb6
drb6

Thanks MDB! My next vacation will be in Venezuela! About the rioters, I am sure the only thing they want is MORE socialism. It can never be enough socialism!

Black Lives Matter

The accredited term is “protesters” — only Trump instigates “riots.”

Pbier

People are actually wealthier in Venezuala than they are in most Western countries. In the US and Canada, for example, all the key infrastructure, mines, natural resources etc. are owned by evil private corporations. Chavez’s Policy of expropriating assets, which had previously belonged to foreign investors, and giving them back to the people, means most Venezualans are actually mult-millionaires. Next time you see a rioting Venezualan, remember that xe is the part owner of a gold mine, an oïl field and much else besides.

drb6
drb6

Good point Pbier! A typical Venezuelan womyn’s lifestyle is described here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3192933/Hugo-Chavez-s-ambassador-daughter-Venezuela-s-richest-woman-according-new-report.html These womyn can afford to spend $3.6M a day.

The Venezuelan womyn of color are much better off than any oppressed European or American womyn (what is plural of womyn by the way?).

Standard Redneck
Standard Redneck

They can get a plastic surgery every week too… And get mesh implants in their tongue or intestine removal surgery that makes it so they can’t eat solid foods. Life is great in Venezuela

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2868260/Butt-implants-aged-12-waists-crushed-painful-straps-weeks-intestines-removed-16-Inside-extreme-Venezuelan-beauty-factories-lengths-pump-Miss-World-winners.html

Standard Redneck
Standard Redneck

Did you try some of the local fare? Such as grilled dog, or smoked cat?

drb6
drb6

You are a confused individual. Dog food is consumed in capitalist “paradise” South Korea. It’s called Boshintang, or Gaejangguk which is dog meat soup. Cats are eaten by desperate, poor farmers in Switzerland, which, again, is supposedly one of so-called “rich” Western nations. See http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255684/Farmers-Switzerland-routinely-EATING-cats-dogs-meals.html

drb6
drb6

Yes, American yuppies like sassafras tree bark tea.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

I know it is popular for us progressives to push Socialism and no doubt Hugo achieved even more than one would expect under that system.

My issue is why AT will heap praise on these leaders from other countries yet you ignore what our own democratic party leaders have been able to accomplish here in America.

How about MDB Take a late night stroll through some of these:
Detroit(1970), Saint Louis(1949),Memphis(1969), Baltimore(1967), Cleveland(1942), Milwaukee(1960), Chicago(1931) The dates are when they went Democratic:

These are just a few examples where Democratic Leadership and their policies has had a similar influence on those cities and their people.

Note: racist and bigoted agencies and right wing media often list these as areas with the highest crime rates etc.. Just to down grade them like Chaves

Black Lives Matter

Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump are responsible for the crime rate!

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