Why Iran Remains The Greatest Threat To World Peace

38
417


Tehran, Iran (Accredited Times) – It is 3am in downtown Tehran and yet it will be many hours before I can afford the luxury of grabbing even a few minutes of precious sleep.  Back home, my family and loved ones are ‘worried sick’ about my latest assignment: reporting from the frontline of the Axis of Evil.

‘Be careful out there’ they implored me, ‘make sure to blend in with the crowd and don’t draw attention to yourself.’  I tried my best and took whatever precautions I could but the Accredited Times travel budget is tragically limited.  I fear that, in my anxiety, my fake ‘Fitra’ beard will fall off due to the sweat pouring off my brow.  My clothes also feel heavy and ill-fitting, adding to the sense of oppression.  As for the red “object” that comes with the outfit, I’m at a loss to know how to hold it according to the local custom.  Note to self: get a refund from Walmart for my ‘disguise’ if I ever make it back.

I dare not imagine the consequences of being caught by Iranian military officials. As the accredited media routinely reports, Iran is a country where the rule of law simply does not exist; were I to be caught, I fully expect to be found guilty of spying by a kangaroo court, and sentenced to a cruel and prolonged death.

I try to remember why I agreed to come here in the first place, at such short notice, and it all comes flooding back: to be an eye-witness to the terrible danger that Iran poses to world peace. The undisputed facts are the following:

Since the 1970s, Iran has been on the verge of acquiring nuclear weapons. Were this to happen, the consequences do not bear thinking about.

In the late 1970s, for example, the US received ‘credible intelligence’ that the Shah had “set up a clandestine nuclear weapons development program.” This was of admittedly little concern at the time given that the Shah was largely friendly to Western interests and enjoyed the support of his people, who had overwhelmingly voted him in as leader in democratic elections.

There then followed a violent revolution of a non-progressive kind, however, as the highly popular Shah was deposed. In his stead came the spiritual leader, the Grand Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, who took an iron-grip on the country. Relations with the West have never been the same since, largely due to the war-like posturing the Iranian people have always taken.  Ignoring the pleadings of a twentieth century world which had recently seen too much war, the Iranians continued plotting to make The Bomb.

As the Council on Foreign Relations reports, “The April 24, 1984, edition of the British defense publication Jane’s Defence Weekly informed its readers: “Iran is engaged in the production of an atomic bomb, likely to be ready within two years, according to press reports in the Persian Gulf last week.”

In the years and decades which followed, Iran has always remained on the cusp of becoming a nuclear power. At times, the country was only ‘a few days away’ from having nuclear capability according to the accredited press, which printed coherent and fact-based articles, headed with photos of missiles like that in our featured image above.  Although it has never actually produced a Bomb, and its leaders claim it has no intention of doing so, were it to do so, the results would be catastrophic.  Reliable sources inform us that Iran has designs on recreating the infamous ‘Tsar Bomba’ device which, with 50 megatons, was the most destructive bomb ever built and would be the equivalent of 3,800 Hiroshima bombs.

Whilst Iran has technically never invaded any other country (at least not in the past 150 years or so), anonymous intelligence sources credibly report that ‘it is just itching to do so’, having missed out in taking part in the six-day war against Israel, for example. Besides, if Iran was not a threat to World Peace, why would so many accredited news publications all report just how dangerous and unpredictable the place is?

Having access to the internet is a mixed blessing, in the context of learning about the Iranian threat.  For example, people can learn random bits of data such as the amount of Iran’s military spending, which was $12.3 billion in 2016. Such people might then look further and see that this spending appears to be dwarfed by the $611 billion spent by the US, or even the $63.7 billion invested by Saudi Arabia.  Where exactly is the threat, their little brains start to wonder?

However, such data is misleading and needs to be put into context. Unlike Saudi Arabia or Israel, Iran is widely reported to be a state sponsor of terrorism. Saudi Arabia and Israel are also true friends of the United States and key allies. When Saudi Arabia spends five times as much money on weapons as Iran, it does so in order to preserve the peace and deter aggressor nations like Iran.

We also need to bear in mind that the brave people in our intelligence agencies, and the courageous operators of drones, all have access to confidential and top secret information that we do not have.  We need to trust them and our politicians to preserve the freedoms which we all cherish, the very freedoms that Iran wants to take from us.

As I lie here in my urban bunker, about to file this report, I remember that any sacrifices I may be making in this moment pale in comparison to those made on a daily basis by our leaders.

trav777

Anthony Bourdain went to Iran and it didn’t look like I thought it would.

i wondered if he was a muslim propaganda agent, but then I remember that Islam is peace, but Iran is muslim and is not peace. Good thing there were happy commercials on that showed powerful, wise black men with white women and black families in white picket fence domestic settings to show me that I shouldn’t really be trying to think!

Iran is minutes away from nuclear weapons that threaten the entire world, by which I mean Israel.

Black Lives Matter

Iran is terrifying. They had the gall to oppose the Syrian anti-Assad groups that wanted to liberate the country from the Shiite blasphemers. We need to destroy those heretics once and for all. Allahu Akbar!

MillionDollarBonus

We need to turn Iran into the new Libya! Or the soon to be new Syria!

trav777

you mean free?

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

I can probably list a few more things that are a bigger threat to world peace than Iran – transphobia being near the top of that list.

However, I was deeply concerned when Michelle Obama declared war on obesity when feminists across the globe were telling me that fat-shaming is bad, and that there is nothing wrong with being fat. In fact, an Accredited Times article proved this in an article just a few short weeks ago.

So, mixed messages from progressive leaders are also more of a threat to world peace than Iran.

Bullying is more of a threat than Iran.

Trump is, certainly, more of a threat than Iran.

And probably at the top of my list – cultural appropriation.

Is this article satire? If not, it pushes a very Islamophobic message.

Jokes and satire should be banned.

MillionDollarBonus

I beg to differ Bureaucrat. The accredited media has made it abundantly clear over the last two decades that Iran is one of the greatest threats to world peace, along with Russia.

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

But, but, but… Faux News pushes the Iran is dangerous narrative, and Obama gave them a cargo jetload of cash as part of a $1.7 billion gift to the Iranians. If Iran is so bad, as you claim, then the accredited media would have gone berserk when Obama gave Khamenei all that money. The media would have also went wild when Obama certified the Iran Nuclear Deal. However, both actions were cheered by the accredited media as signature diplomatic actions of the stately Obama.

MillionDollarBonus

I don’t know what kind of 3D Chess our leaders are playing on us, but it’s for the greater good, and I’m told every day by pretty much all media outlets and both Republicans and Democrats that Iran is our greatest enemy, along with Russia. So I have to believe them. If there are contradictions, then I try not to think about them. It’s important to keep things simple or being a progressive becomes too difficult.

AccreditedThinker

You have to remember that St. Barack was sworn to uphold the US Constitution. We all know this is an outmoded, racist document, but St. Barack takes his oaths seriously, which is why he felt honor-bound to return the $1.7B the US had been keeping safe for the Iranian people.

As for the “tiny” amount Iran spends on its military: it’s all the more frightening that they can spend so little and yet be minutes away from possessing hundreds of nuclear weapons.

This can only be because of their extensive network of spies within the US military feeding them our stolen nuclear technology; yet more proof of their duplicitous (perhaps even Russian-esque!) nature.

drb6

You are forgetting that St Obama can do no evil. Xe could give Iranians the H-bomb and xe would still be the Beacon of Liberty and Patron Saint of All Oppressed People.

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

OK, I get it, I think… So, to recap

Accredited Media: “Iran is evil – a bunch of Nazi anti-Semites”
Bureaucrat: “But Obama gave them pallets of billions of Federal Reserve Notes”
Accredited Media: “Yes, Iran is evil, and Obama is good, so Obama made the right move, but Iran is still evil”
Bureaucrat: “OK, makes sense. Thanks!”

drb6

It is extremely difficult to be a progressive, as it is very difficult to find any logic in our belief system. However, there are a few general rules that are not to be broken. First, FUCKING WHITE MALES are responsible for all world’s problems. Second, St. Obama is infallible. If you recall, in the battle between Clinton and St. Obama in 2007-8 accredited media supported Obama. Clinton!!! lost the support of accredited media.

Bureaucrat
Bureaucrat

So, in 2007-08, we could have called the accredited media misogynists for supporting Obama over Hillary? Problem even rapists if it happened in 2017.

drb6

I do not think that AM can be called misogynists for supporting Obama due to Rule #2. Obama could firebomb Detroit and still he would not have done anything bad according to AM (and thus we should believe it also. Remember, never question AM!).

trav777

Saint Obama reached out to them out of peace and love, the same as he reached out to Gaddhafi. Iran simply rejected it and decided to reiterate its total annihilative hatred toward Israel, and so here we are.

MillionDollarBonus

On second thoughts, Pbier, I think we may have wasted this month’s travel budget on sending you to Iran, as you didn’t really gather anything from the ground to put in your article. Not that you should have – it was a stunning article, full of accredited assumptions, conjecture, normalcy bias and arguments from authority. But maybe it would have been better spent sending you to the North Pole to cover Santa Clause’s secret nuclear bunker full of guns, ammo and New World Order paraphernalia.

I agree though. Iran is absolutely the greatest threat to peace on this planet. The Persians are the most uncivilized people in the Middle East and have given us nothing but terrorism, war and political upheaval. Iran threatened to “wipe Israel off of the map” for goodness’ sake! I know that’s not what they actually said but still – many accredited media outlets reported that they DID!

Black Lives Matter

I’m really shocked that you would say the money was “wasted.” For accredited journalists, it doesn’t matter what the facts are on “the ground” — it just matters what we feel. Pbier’s article is all about how he feels being in Iran.

MillionDollarBonus

Sorry you’re right BLM. And anyway, we believe in spending as much money as possible indiscriminately to boost the economy. Money spent is money well spent, no matter what you spend it on.

Yuso Dum
Yuso Dum

Breaking news from a Secret Sniper tower;

Pbier you are such a warrior. Hopefully you are not too late in your quest as I fear I may be in mine.

Earlier reports of the sudden illness that overtook Supreme Leader Kim was not poison as initially feared. News of aggressor Donald Trump drinking 12 diet cokes was too much for the supreme Leader to accept. All danger is over once the flatulence dissipates. He has returned to his normal diet.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

I suspect Pbier is being less that honest with us by not disclosing his full mission.

My belief is his real mission is to assist and to protect Miss Iran.
He does not want her to befall the same fate as Miss Iraq. She is currently in hiding over an Instagram photo showing her alongside Miss Israel. She is being threatened with death.
Pbier is a strong Woymes advocate.

drb6

Iranians are misogynistic, evil, terrorist state. It does not matter that they have committed literally one terror act against West in last 200 years, while West has overthrown their democratically elected prime minister in 1950’s because he was going to take oil away from the British. Their womyn are backwards and actually care how they look and even try to please the filthy malepigs. Seecomment image

https://www.boredpanda.com/iranian-women-fashion-1970-before-islamic-revolution-iran/

trav777

Yes, they stone adulterers and execute womyn for being too sexual.

This is evil and needs to be stopped.

Saudi Arabia stones adulterers and executes womyn for being too sexual. They are one of our greatest allies and a shining example for the middle east.

drb6

I will respectfully note though that Iran stoning adulterers is a direct consequence of overthrow of their government by CIA in late 50’s – without that they would be like a disorganized, hand-waving, but very harmless Italy. But that kind of goes against our narrative, so lets forget that

jfb

And don’t forget the role of Iran behind 9/11. A US court determined that they were accomplices. If they had not allowed at least 3 of the hijakers to leave Afghanistan and cross their territory rather than to arrest them before they reached the US, they could never have learned later how to pilot a plane and smash the towers.
For 20 years at least I fear this moment, when they will finally launch their nukes on the US territory, a pre-emptive strike is the only thing that can restore peace.
By the way Pbier, have they FINALLY solved their problems with Internet speed? An Iranian told me once that he gave up about reading the accredit-times since it took him 30 minutes to load the main page..

MillionDollarBonus

Sorry the latency is because of the repeal of net neutrality!

vacamuerta
vacamuerta

This ‘first hand reporting on the ground’ article and illuminating discussion has helped me navigate the politically complex apparent contradictions in the accredited MSM. Thanks.

In summary, #NukeIranNow to prevent another holocaust?.

Isnt it our moral duty to so improve the lives of ordinary Iranians, it worked so well in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Syria etc etc.

Perhaps a defensive pre-emptive kinetic/nuclear humanitarian first strike on Tehran could be sold as ‘operation enduring peace’ – unless that phase has been used before?.

Thank goodness the US and its foremost ally & advisor are there to counter Iran’s Shia terrorists groups bombing countries that pose no threat to Iran across the globe and threatening to wipe Israel off the map.

wpDiscuz