The Proud Feminist Roots Of Womyns’ Mud Wrestling

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FORGET everything you thought you knew about the honorable sport of womyns’ mud wrestling. Recency bias and unaccredited media are responsible for instilling the perverse idea that scantily-clad womyn cavort with each other in mud for the sole benefit of amusing drunken, testosterone-fuelled men.  Nothing could be further from the truth, however, as we explain below.

Using her superior reach and low center of gravity to keep her opponent at distance, a technique known as the Hillary-maneouvre

The fact is that womyns’ wrestling (in general) has existed since the dawn of civilization.  It is a combat sport as natural and normal an activity as just about any sport. Sources differ on the original purpose of womyns’ wrestling; some say it was a way of demonstrating physical prowess, others claim it was a means of preparing the female physique for the rigors of childbirth, or possibly as part of the ‘mating ritual’, others yet suggest it was how an ‘alpha female’ would assert herself and assume responsibility for her community – of both men and womyn.

The ‘headlock’, an especially powerful technique which renders one’s opponent helpless

Since around 700CE, mud has been employed in the wrestling contest as a means of leveling the competition and ensuring that the most skillful womyn wrestler would prevail.  Until the introduction of mud, wrestling contests were usually won by the tallest or strongest womyn, who were able to overcome their more technically-gifted opponents with mere brute force. By adding water to baked earth, the wrestlers would soon lose balance and fall to the ground, resulting in close-quarters combat. Just like Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) today, on-the-ground wrestling (in mud) demands that the womyn wrestler uses all her courage, skill, determination, agility, and guile to defeat her opponent.

Wrestling is not always restricted to just two competitors; it can be a team bout also

Of course, the addition of ‘mud’ to the wrestling contest was no mere accidental discovery.  It was introduced to the sport by the tribes of Southern Sudan and Nubia, who had always followed ‘purist’ wrestling.  These tribes had used womyns’ mud wrestling as part of a ceremonial initiation, usually buck naked. Theirs was a celebration of life, of the female physique, rejoicing in health an physical perfection.

So let us reclaim womyns’ mud wrestling for its feminist roots. It has a noble history and deserves to take front stage on stage and screen.

Black Lives Matter

I attended a womyn’s mud wrestling event several years ago. It was an amazing display of female athleticism. This is what real progress means.

Missy Bo Pepys
Missy Bo Pepys

In my experience womyn’s mud wrestling is only wholesome when it involves a team effort. One-on-one bouts are more titillating, but they can be painful for womyn with big hooters.

I’m pleased to see you appreciate the female form, BLM!

Standard Redneck
Standard Redneck

Today, Dec 18, 2017, Anon officially declares victory and the Accredited Times concedes defeat.

The legacy of President Trump carries on.

God bless America, and Merry Christmas.

MillionDollarBonus

I think Anon had a heart attack from eating so many jumbo-size hershey’s chocolate bars.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

All I ask is when you are up there accepting your Feminist Activism Award that you still remember all us little people.
There is no doubt in my mind as the committee reviews your work this one has clenched your victory.
The deep dive into the history of the sport and images capturing the action makes this top notch.
Long live feminism.

MillionDollarBonus

Googling images related to this topic is definitely a worthwhile educational endeavor.

Yuso Dum
Yuso Dum

Reporting from makeshift fallout shelter

I was unaware this was a sport. Sometimes in the rice fields a scuffle will break out and the participants will look like this.

Official Government sources report that lucrative bitcoin mining operation has given us many funds to finance hospitals and schools. Sadly antagonists from the south are actively trying to thwart valiant party efforts.

Black Lives Matter

All the government has to do is print more money, and the problem will be solved!

richandrenee

So long as they do it by issuing interest bearing bonds that the banks can kindly look after – we’ll all be a lot richer. Paul Krugman said the more government debt the better (we owe it to ourselves) and he’d know.

Black Lives Matter

It’s sickening that our greatest economics minds, like Paul Krugman, are on the sidelines while pathetic orange trolls are running the global economy. He won a NOBEL PRIZE for Allah’s sake!

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

If I might point out Mr Krugman said this under the leadership of Mr. Obama. Now that president Obama is no longer in charge Professor Krugman declared, “Deficits matter again.”

I have the highly complex formula he used below for his calculations

R=I<D=N /D=I<D=Y
Simplified for the math challenged:
If a republican is in charge then income being less than debt is a no
If a democrat is in charge then income being less that debt is a Yes

MillionDollarBonus

Republicans always raise the national debt with their expensive and irresponsible tax cuts! Democrats create debt for good, Republicans create it for evil!

MillionDollarBonus

Good to see you again Rich – you’ve been missed! I agree, we need to let the banks handle these things as they’re experts on matters of money. The interest we pay them on the money they create is for the privilege of having money, for without them we wouldn’t have any.

How’s the vegan restaurant going?

MillionDollarBonus

Wow the physical prowess displayed in those images is really a site to behold! This needs to be an Olympic sport!

richandrenee

Wouldn’t it be great to see the worlds bravest womyn, Caitlyn Jenner, wrestle at the Olympics.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Of course it would fantastic. Trans are starting to dominate all of the womens sports.

It has to be discrimination or sexism as to why trans have not dominated male sports. Has anyone done any serious research as to why?

MillionDollarBonus

Of course! She’s the womyn of the year!

Disappointed
Disappointed

I’m a little disturbed by the fact that the AT has ruined this article by including photos of nothing but white womyn. What about all of the legendary womyn of color wrestlers such as Mykesha Mudslinger, Latesha Hershey Squirt and the Latino beauty Roberta Sandy Crotch

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