Star Wars Last Jedi Exclusive Review!!

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Accredited Times’ finance department pulled some serious strings and got me a ticket to see the newest Hollywood blockbuster from Disney, Star Wars The Last Jedi.

I agreed to write a review of this movie, so if you haven’t seen it, skip this review as it may contain some plot spoilers.

The theme of the movie is as follows- Womyn are awesome at everything and have taken control of the galaxy.  They are opposed by vicious white males who sneer and seem to be totally unglued emotionally at all times.  The nazi empire is led by a cousin of Voldemort named Snoke who came out of nowhere like evil villainous racists do to become mega powerful in the Dark Side in a short span of time.

Becoming suddenly powerful in the Force seems to run in the galaxy now as our heroic womyn Rey, aka Mary Sue, has gotten powerful enough in it to defeat a Sith Lord and Luke Skywalker back to back like within a few minutes or days of picking up a lightsaber for the first time!  Once again Hollywood mirrors real life where womyn are simply better at everything than men, especially physical stuff.  We can recall all the effort Luke took after training and he could barely even move an X-wing fighter.  Rey, with no training whatsoever, can literally move mountains!

The new Star Wars dispenses with absurd stuff like tradition, time honored narratives, cultural institutions and whatnot and makes the old white heroes of yesteryear into bitter cowards who die meaningless deaths while brave and quippy people of color (and even asians) save the Galaxy again and again even while possessing plans that have no coherence whatsoever.  Purple hair is a new thing and womyn womyn womyn in charge everywhere.

Every man, including the strong black man, is taught a lesson or two about toxic masculinity by the womyn in this movie and those lessons are well-learned as ALL of the white males are beaten down, grumpy cowardly losers.  Just like real white males.

The chief bad guy, Kylo Ren, who also has no backstory whatsoever, is a big ugly emo dude, showing the reality of white males in today’s world as unhinged and physically unattractive.  Meanwhile all other characters can immediately operate complex machinery in the absence of any training whatsoever.  White males struggle to even function properly and are constantly belittled and killed by powerful womyn and minorities.

Many people have made some fuss about Disney being almost entirely jewish and this movie basically representing their irresistible urge to defile everyone else’s culture, especially whites’, and to destroy traditions, narratives, and cultural institutions, and constitutes a victory lap over the desecrated carcass of what was a pillar of cultural lore in formerly white America.  To them I say screw you nazis, as what this movie represents is not a complete inversion of everything sacred into something profane, but rather, PROGRESS.  Just like Marx wanted.

This movie shows us that Hollywood really has its finger on the pulse of PROGRESS and CHANGE.  The world is changing into a place where white males have no future whatsoever and where womyn finally can emerge to do things it would take a man his entire life to master, and do it in no more than several minutes.  It also shows us the triumph of incredibly intelligent people of color who can think and strategize circles around white males.  It correctly portrays white males as emotionally unstable and violently frustrated as well as totally incompetent.

I think everyone should see this movie two or three times to bask in what a complete piece of work it is!

Happy showtimes!

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19 Comments on "Star Wars Last Jedi Exclusive Review!!"

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Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

How about this free alternative?

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

I skipped your commie review, not because it might spoil a movie I’d never watch, on principle. But because hollywood is a social pathology onto itself.

MillionDollarBonus

A bet you DID watch that sickeningly racist movie “Dunkirk” though didn’t you, that falsely depicts World War II as exclusively involving white males! You make me sick!!

MillionDollarBonus

It’s about time that Jews and progressives took this movie over, which was originally developed by a sordid white male, George Lucas, and transformed it into something less embarrassing and more representative of the real world, in which womyn and minorities dominate at things like science, engineering, modern warfare and leadership. I’m literally scared to even venture into white dominated areas now! White males are so bitter, angry and unstable, you just never know what they might do! I’m seriously considering moving to Chicago or Compton for my safety!

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Today i propose a scenario for the end times Muslim battle against the Muslim end times boogeyman, the Dajjal

The characters: First Allah who has a GLORIOUS SHIN that makes people want to bow down to him. The Dajjal is in all respects a duplicate of Allah, excepting he has one eye. The other was likely plucked out when he was young and is now covered with a Jolly Roger eye patch. Rumors abound that Allah and the Dajjal are twins, otherwise how can they look exactly the same?

Allah and Dajjal meet.

Allah pulls up a pant leg revealing his GLORIOUS SHIN, Dajjal falls prostate, but with countless years of having to deal with the pain of his lost eye, he counterattacks, pulling up both pant legs, reveling TWO GLORIOUS SHINS. Allah crashes into the ground, face first. By dint of pulling out the last erg of effort, Allah manages to painfully stretch and also pulls up his other pant leg, causing the Dajjal to face the impact of a TWO GLORIOUS SHIN attack as well.

At this point they are both doing a grand imitation of bullfrogs, faces planted into the ground, TWO GLORIOUS SHINS each revealed for all to see.

The CHRIST, destined form the dawn of time to defeat Dajjal, and the only one with TOTAL immunity to the GLORIOUS SHIN attach. comes upon this scene and takes out his baseball bat, also known as the COSMIC SMASHER, and whacks Allah in the head a few times, making him roll over like a dead dog. Noticing Allah’s TWO eyes CHRIST goes OOOOPPPPPSS!!!! and then walks over to Dajjal to deliver yet more COSMIC SMASHERS. The Dajjal, in fear for his life, begs for mercy and offers up his lovely Jolly Roger eye patch. CHRIST accepts but as he is merciful creates a cyborg eye, with LASER BEAM VISION, for Dajjal and walks away with the Jolly Roger eye patch, leaving Dallal, with his LASER BEAM eye and the unconscious Allah to settle the grudge match.

Remember folks, you are NOTHING without at least ONE LASER BEAM EYE.

Black Lives Matter

Haha, white males are pathetic. We be Jedi kangz! Reparations now!!!

MillionDollarBonus

White males WISH they were kangz!

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Blacks wish they were KONGs, like KING KONG only smaller

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Go back to Africa, you monkey!

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Blacks celebrating Kwanzaa

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/suspects-arrested-troy-quadruple-homicide-article-1.3727566

All four victims were found with their hands and ankles bound and their throats cut, the Albany Times-Union reported. The killings occurred around 9 p.m. on Dec. 21.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

In other news

Internet rumor has it that George Soros (and Son) may have gone to that “special place”

If true, then the AT staff has a long long wait for their back pay.

http://tomatobubble.com/where_is_george_soros.html

The anonymous Internet legend known as “Q” told us that “GS” — George Soros — would be sent to “a special place” for organizing voter fraud, among other crimes. Rumors have been swirling that the Globalist mega-mogul has been sent to Guantanamo Bay prison. As unbelievable as this may seem, it is indeed strange that Soros, a frequent “tweeter” — has not posted a single tweet since November 26, 2017.

wpDiscuz