Mort à la tEstostérone!
In Current Year, being a “Real Man” means eschewing one’s masculinity and embracing utter self-hatred for one’s biologically-assigned gender. It means wanting desperately to correct the wrongs of centuries past when womyn were cruelly oppressed by the patriarchy. It means suffering death by a thousand cuts each time a #MeToo tweet appears on your screen, each tweet a painful reminder that your sex (and, by definition, you) have a lot to answer for.
In short, being a “Real Man” means being a male feminist.
As a male feminist, your mission in life is to destroy the insidious patriarchy once and for all, and usher in a new feminine age when militant womyn wear the proverbial trousers. They should be the ones to make the rules, to dictate how society is run, and how you should think, speak and act at all times. LEt’s make it even easier for you: If you don’t behave this way, you have no chance of being laid. Yes, it’s as straightforward as that.
OK, it’s great that you totally despise yourself and the thing between your legs but…it’s not enough just to support vocally the womyn’s emancipation movement. You need to be the one driving it. With all due respect to womyn, had male feminists not become total traitors to their sex, there is no way feminists would have been able to make the progress they have in recent years. Yes, this is a controversial statement because, after all, womyn are better at everything, and yet never underestimate the evil of the patriarchy.
Being a male feminist takes a lot of courage, even in these enlightened days. Courage means not only self-hatred and betraying your fellow males to the forces of political correctness; it means actively searching out the last vestiges of male oppression and making it your job to turn the scales completely. Only when men themselves are the oppressed is your mission fulfilled.
Let’s use an example based around family separation. If you’re a “Real Man” in Current Year, you’ll look at the divorce laws in the UK, which as a starting point always award custody of children to the mother, as well as 50% of the family assets, and say: “This is not enough!”
No, a 50% split of assets on divorce is NOT nearly enough to recognize the (likely) disproportionate share of the housework, dinner-party organizing, family-raising, working out at the gym to remain the ‘trophy wife’ etc. that the womyn does on a daily basis. The easy part of any marriage is the bit where, at the crack of dawn, the man abandons the household, wife and kids, in order to play a round of golf, send off some useless emails, attend some ego-boosting internal meetings, flirt with his secretary, before returning from whence he came in the EXPECTATION that his dinner will be on the table the very minute he enters the door.
It’s not often we salute white males, who are, after all, the source of most evil on this planet. However, it’s time we (grudgingly) recognise bravery when we see it. Whilst womyn themselves are responsible for 99% of all female emancipation and progress in recent years, male feminists have played an important role as well.
For those old enough to remember, the 1950s through to the early 1990s were the dark decades for womyn. Most men were thoroughly racist, sexist and liked nothing more than to rape helpless women for breakfast, lunch and dinner. We know this because the aftermath of the Harvey Weinstein episode has seen hundreds of millions of womyn victims tweet #MeToo. The #MeToo campaign has shown that almost all womyn are victims of one sort of another. And, yet, we need to be careful when using the “victim” word. Even though they fill social media with infinity tales of how some males oppressed them in the past (e.g. by giving them unwanted attention or not giving them wanted attention), they should be treated as “survivors” rather than as opportunists “playing the victim card.”
We salute the brave male feminists because they allow this whole liberation thing to continue. They are more than happy to avoid:
- working out in the gym
- eating red meat
- trying to discover traditional masculinity
They do quite like to drink water laced with estrogen from womyns’ birth control pills, self-castrating in public.
Male feminists are heroes and we salute you!