The sun. We all know it’s bad for you. It gives you cancer, it burns you, and it makes you look like Donald Trump. But yet, there are many who ignore the warnings of dermatologists and top doctors, and continue to flock to the beach on a hot day, have barbecues in the afternoon sun, or take up suicidal outdoors sports such as cycling. It’s sad that despite so many warnings from experts, people still trust their natural instinct to spend time in the sun, many of them foolishly thinking that their urges are somehow grounded in biology.
One thing we know about humans is that they aren’t adapted to the environments in which they evolved. What humans did 10,000 years ago has nothing at all to do with what people are adapted to do today, as the world has changed so much since then. We no longer live in the outdoors, hunting for animals in small homogeneous groups of cis-men, while the cis-women stay at home and look after the offspring, depending on the patriarchy for survival. Today we live in cubicles, illuminated by fluorescent lamps, beaming out blue light from early morning till late at night, something our bigoted ancestors would have certainly never experienced. The idea that we are adapted to get natural sunlight, and that our bodies use this light in intricate ways, like other living things such as plants do, is ridiculous. Just because one organism uses sunlight to produce energy, doesn’t mean that it’s possible for humans to do so. The idea that our bodies would have evolved to use this abundantly available energy source is woo woo nonsense, peddled by new age spiritual freaks, whom we like on some topics, but definitely not on this one.
Conspiracy theorists may claim that the reason Europeans have fairer skin, wider eyes and more brightly colored pupils than say Africans, is precisely to allow them to utilize the sun differently, during the synthesis of vitamin D for example. But this can’t be true, because doctors recommend that we wear sunblock at all times, and that the sun ages us and gives us cancer, despite what alternative health quacks say about vitamin D alone massively reducing cancer risk. Doctors and dermatologists have confirmed that the sun GIVES you cancer! It doesn’t prevent it!
The sun is not only dangerous, but it makes you look ugly. I know it might be a bit racist to suggest that paler skin is more attractive, but it’s not, because most black womyn agree with us, and are always bleaching their skin and idealizing mixed, lighter skinned pop stars like Beyonce, Riyana, and Nicki Minaj. You may think that golden sun-tanned skin looks good, but trust me, it doesn’t.
Let’s be honest, would you rather look like this guy?
Or this guy?
I think it goes without saying that the second fellow is far more attracted to females, or whichever of the 72 genders he is into. He’s a feminist too, which helps.
Donald Trump clearly loves the sun, and always seems to have a tan, which gets renewed now and then by some kind of secret tanning bed, or by sunbathing on one of his many luxury resorts. But Trump is clearly suffering the health consequences, despite what his fake 30 out 30 mental agility test score might suggest.
No-one knows why “luxury” holiday destinations are always sunny places with higher UV levels, or why rich people retire to tropical islands. It’s almost like the desire to do that which is extremely harmful to us is built into our very DNA. Alternative health quacks like Jack Kruse will continue to spread lies about how our bodies are intricately adapted to using every frequency of sunlight, and that sun exposure is correlated with higher testosterone levels, dopamine levels, and a variety of other dangerous hormones that the hyper-masculine alt right seem to be obsessed with. But rest assured, the accredited opinion is that it’s healthier to be indoors at all times, exposed to a variety of signals that are very confusing to our bodies. This is what is going to keep you young and healthy, just like a low fat, soy-based, vegan diet with plenty of gluten-filled whole grains, glyphosate, estrogenic preservatives, fluoride and brain altering pharmaceutical drugs. Stay out of the sun folks. You know it’s the right thing to do, even if you don’t want to do it.