The Accredited Times has been given an exclusive scoop on an up and coming Hollywood blockbuster that is setting itself up to be the funniest movie of 2018. The story is set in modern Britain, where a white working class family have their world turned upside down when a large Muslim family moves in next door. As you can imagine, hilarity ensues as the neighbors experience one culture clash after another, and eventually the white working class family is forced to come to terms with the reality of Britain’s cultural shift and modernize their beliefs to accommodate their new neighbors.
The story is set in a little village on the outskirts of London, where Britain’s toxic whiteness and the patriarchy somehow seem to have survived despite all of the country’s social advancements. The residents are deeply racist in their ways, and are constantly railing on about “foreigners” and “Islamic extremists”. The featured white family members each typify everything that is wrong with the modern white conservative family. The father works as a plumber, doing manual labor that most educated progressives believe is beneath them, while the mother works as a hairdresser, where she spends her time gossiping about trivial things with other shallow women obsessed with appearance and appeasing the patriarchy. The son is constantly glued to racist YouTube channels like Black Pigeon Speaks and Mark Dice, and regurgitating fake news at the dinner table, while the sister is obsessed with “jocks” and alpha male wannabes at school. Thankfully, this sad state of affairs is promptly put to an end when a large Muslim family of 10 moves in next door.
When the Muhammads move in, their white neighbors are suddenly woken at 5:00 am in a state of shock by the call to prayer. “What the hell is going on out here!”, the bald, tattooed white father shouts as he storms out of the front door half-dressed, only to fall silent as he sees a family of ten in the yard next door on their knees facing mecca. After finishing their prayers, the Muslim family get up, and the Muslim father walks up to his neighbor and says “are you fucking stupid? These are our morning prayers. Do you know how important this is to us? If you interrupt me like that again I’ll declare Jihad on you, you slimy, bald twat!”. The white man responds in a fit of rage “You fucking muzzie cunt! Don’t you fucking ever wake me up like that again or I’ll call the police! What the fuck are you doing here anyway?? Go back to where ya come from, you stupid shit!!”. After exchanging insults for a full 10 minutes, they slam their doors shut.
The next morning, the call to prayer occurs again at exactly the same time, this time a little louder. Infuriated, the white father picks up the phone and rings the police. When the police arrive, they apologize to the Muslim neighbors and give a warning to the white man for being racist. “If you don’t like it”, says one of the policemen, “you can simply move. We don’t tolerate Islamophobia or racism in this country anymore. This is Britain, and everyone is welcome here. If you can’t accept that, then maybe you don’t belong here. This Muslim family is more British than you will ever be”.
The movie continues with a series of feuds with backward white Britain, that become ever more hilarious. One of the rebel sons in the Muslim family is constantly watching ISIS videos online, and caught trying to make bombs, while arguing with his dad about what the best way to deal with the infidels is. His father takes a more moderate approach of letting Allah deal with them, whereas the son is adamant that Jihad is the right way to go about it.
The story really demonstrates some of the comical cultural issues that Britain is struggling with at the moment, and allows Brits to laugh at their problems and pretend they’re not serious. I give this movie a 10/10, and I recommend all our readers check it out when it is released later this year.