Kids – Here’s Why You Should Turn Your Parents In to the FBI

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If you think being a minority in a neighborhood patrolled by racist white policemen, or a young womyn trying to avoid getting raped on a college campus is difficult, try being a white kid raised by right wing parents. I know it’s not customary for progressives to have sympathy for white people, but hear me out here. Despite the monumental efforts of schools, children’s books and children’s movies to teach progressivism to children, white kids in conservative America are still subjected to some of the most hateful and regressive ideas imaginable at home. Whatever progressive education they may have received at school, is quickly undone by their ranting right wing fathers (yes, I know it’s crazy, but white families still have fathers in the 21st Century), patriarchy-appeasing conservative mothers, and deeply racist grandparents who constantly tell their kids about “the good old days” when America was still white and men still had authority at home, in politics and at the workplace.

Dylann Roof and the myriad of other trigger happy white boys wrecking America are a result of the white American family’s obsession with guns, religion and their self-entitled right-wing ideologies that absolve them of their guilt as white people. How can America expect its white youths to be anything other than dysfunctional, when they are teaching them to have strong opinions and fire weapons like in this video:

All be it that white men invented guns; Jews, womyn and people of color should still be able to decide whether white men should be allowed to have them. Just because you invented something, doesn’t mean that you get credit for it, or get any special privileges like not following the orders of people further up the oppression pyramid than you. White kids need to learn that they are guilty and are not allowed to defend themselves or have opinions, or this country is going to continue to fall apart like it is under Trump.

So, kids, if your parents are teaching you that it’s ok to use guns, and that the right to use them is legally granted to you by ancient laws like the “second amendment”, remember that you don’t have to listen to them – you can call the FBI. The FBI is increasingly spending its time investigating extreme right wing terrorists in white America, just like European authorities are investigating Islamophobic nationalist groups who are terrorizing Muslims and immigrants. If you have any reason to believe that your parents are engaging in domestic terrorism or child abuse, then not only do you have a right to turn them in, but it is your duty to do so.

Domestic terrorism could be anything from having excessive amounts of firepower to engaging in verbal violence with terms like “###egal immigrants”, “####hole countries”, “Islamic ##tremists” or “##chor babies”. It could even be something like using too much electricity, or having a gas-guzzling pickup truck that destroys the environment.

If you don’t believe that your parents are terrorists or child abusers, then think again. When white children asked their parents the following survey of questions, researchers were shocked to discover that 90% of the parents were engaged in heinous acts worthy of arrest and loss of custody:

a) Do you believe that transgender children have the right to demand sex change operations to avoid the devastating life-long consequences of wrong-sex puberty?

b) Do you think dreamer children who were born in the United States should be given amnesty?

c) Would you consider giving up the right to drive and using a self-driving car developed by Google to reduce your carbon footprint?

d) If your city planner wanted to turn your local nature reserve into a wind farm to help save the environment, would you object?

e) If an undocumented American who has worked here for his life happened to cast a vote in one of our electrons, would you invalidate his vote and take his voice away?

Advocating changes to our political system that move it off the current trajectory to making white people powerless, despised and eventually extinct, is hateful and mean, and should be a red flag that your parents are not interested in creating the progressive future for you that we all want. If you were born a girl, but you know you are a boy, or an octopus, or an alien, and your parents don’t want to give you the necessary surgery and hormones to be your true self, then you are the victim of extreme child abuse. But do not fret – you are not alone. The FBI, DHS and CPS are hear to help you, and they are just one quick telephone call away. Don’t let your parents tell you what to do, and don’t let them fill your minds with hate and bigotry. This is your world, it’s your country, and it’s your life. So don’t let anyone take that away from you.

richandrenee

Many Gay couples will happily give a child a healthy progressive upbringing – given the chance.

As soon as conservatives are identified as teaching their children homophobic beliefs – the State must remove the children and place them with Gay couples. This way the children will have a chance of a well balanced childhood.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Another wasted article. there are no kids in the Target Audience.

Excepting those 3 still living in the basement leeching off of their parents, and if they turn in their parents

WHO THE F are they going to leech off of in the future?

Waste of Time!

#russian-propaganda

richandrenee

How dare you post the subversive Schmoyoho here Anon.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

I am exercising my White Privilege known as Freedom of Speech

#remove-comment

Pbier

Says a bronie still living in his parents’ basement! What irony.

John Sakars
John Sakars

Today I learned how to change a chicken’s diaper. It was easy. You just undo the snaps, dump the crap into the toilet, wash the diaper, place it somewhere to dry, then put on a clean one. PBlizzard the Rooster stood there very patiently; he is used to this whole thing. The diaper fits perfectly and he seems used to it. He gets to walk around the whole house. When he sits next to me on the couch, or even sits on my lap, I feel like the entire vegan community would be jealous of me right now, haha. If you scratch his chest under his feathers, you can feel the warmth of his body. It’s totally disgusting to me to think that I used to eat chickens. When you go vegan, it’s like starting a whole new life.

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Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

A fun fact

Chickens can live for years without a head.

So you can bite of its head and still keep him as a pet. Just in case a craving for meat overcomes you.

But remember only bite off the head. Biting other spots can result in the death of the chicken.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mike_the_Headless_Chicken

#post-truth

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

That’s a rooster son. The chicken is to the right.

TedCruz
TedCruz

If there’s sex crimes, call (202) 324-3000, ask for that FBI ho, Lisa Page.

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

sluice gate

IThinkThereforeIAm
IThinkThereforeIAm

I just printed this article off and posted it at my local schools; unfortunately, I live in the inner-city of Baltimore and was told the students will not be able to read it in the present form. Could you provide me with a version written in ebonics or some type of hieroglyphics.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

No wonder

The present form contains the letters a, b, c, d, e, etc etc etc

Black Lives Matter

Using the term “parents” is a microaggression. Having a one-parent or no-parent home is equally good to being raised in a two-parent home.

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Trump deserted you leftists when he got hip to your scams. Were that not so, this book would be titled TRUMP and GOD b/c GOVERNMENT is your religion. You dig?

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Pbier

Kids can unfortunately be reluctant to shop in their parents due to strange ideas of ‘family loyalty’ so we need to incentivize them. How about 500 guaranteed Facebook likes on their next ten posts when they report their parents to the FBI

Bill Gated
Bill Gated

Very few kids are born in labs, or through surrogate mothers. Agenda 2020, and Agenda 2030 clearly state that marital rape is a crime, under SDGs (Sustainable Development Goals). Most kids know that they are a product of marital rape. I’ve funded Common Core, and NGOs to impress kids on this serious crime by their parents.

With your guaranteed FarceBook likes, I hope the campaign goes viral, and our children are saved from (marital) rapists.

trav777

everyone with a brain knows no kids use FB anymore. Anyone under 25 doesn’t use the product at all

Pbier

Is that some thinly veiled insult? Lol

I have FEELINGS. A brain is vastly inferior.

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

Lack of funds!

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