The world is still in awe over the landmark address delivered by Congressman Joe Kennedy III on Tuesday. We laughed. We cried. And most of all we cheered in pride at Kennedy for showing his solidarity with the LGBTQ+ community by declining to wipe his mouth so the whole world could see his servicing of Chuck Schumer in all its glory.
Honestly, I don’t really remember what Kennedy said, mainly because I had the TV on mute at the time. That said, the bodily fluids on Kennedy’s mouth as he read the Schumer-approved speech undoubtedly helped crystallize that “love is love” and that Donald Trump is a “bully” for enforcing immigration laws and for opposing the sex-change procedures that our military personnel so desperately need.
The smashed car in the background was also a great touch. Seeing the car helped me reminisce over the amazing public service of his great uncle Teddy. Although Teddy may have accidentally destroyed the life of a young girl by getting drunk and driving his car into a waterway — and then kind of not bothering to try to rescue her as she drowned to death several hours later — Teddy later saved the United States from destruction by flooding it with immigrants from wonderful countries like Somalia via the Immigration & Nationality Act of 1965. Somalia is not a sh*thole!
The Kennedies have done so much for America that it only makes sense for yet another one to step up to the plate with a full-throated defense of progressivism. John F. Kennedy wisely signed an executive order unionizing the federal government for the first time, thereby ensuring that public service is monopolistically controlled by a healthy unelected for-profit organization on a no-bid basis. Thanks to Kennedy’s wisdom, the wealthiest counties in America now surround Washington, D.C. in Maryland and Northern Virginia. And thanks to Teddy Kennedy, Virginia now votes Democrat consistently because of all the wonderful diversity. Vivan los Mexicanos!
Now we have yet another Kennedy, educated at the prestigious Harvard Law, set to take over the Democrat Party. Kennedy no doubt gained admission into Harvard Law based purely on his LSAT score and grades — albeit maybe with a little help on the diversity front from the LGBTQ+ community. Soon it will be his turn, just like it was Hillary Clinton’s turn in 2016 and just like it will be Michelle Obama’s turn in 2020, Chelsea Clinton’s turn in 2028, and Malia Obama’s turn in 2036.
So thank you, Joe, for exercising independent thought and not wiping Schumer’s glory from your mouth. Spew it out for all the world to see and hear!