Trump Crashes the Stock Market

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We all know that Donald Trump is racist, sexist, and Islamophobic.  Now he is single-handedly responsible for crashing the stock market.

The very day that Trump’s nominee for Federal Reserve Chairman, Jerome Powell, took office, the Dow Jones crashed 1,175 points, the largest point drop in history.  Volatility gauges have gone bonkers.  Cats and dogs are raining from the sky.  And gender-confused bulls don’t even know who they are anymore.  Although Powell has technically been on the Federal Reserve Board of Governors since 2012 when Barack Hussein Obama appointed him, it’s clear that Powell, and therefore Trump, is to blame.

With the steady hands of money-printing Janet Yellen and Marxist vacationer Barack Hussein Obama gone, there is simply nothing left to hold the market up but an orange freak-show wearing a dead rat for a toupee.

Womyn and minorities are sure to be hardest hit.  Worse, Trump’s tax cuts will make it much more difficult for our loving government to fund much-needed welfare programs, including food stamps, needle exchanges, and free sex-change procedures for transgenders in need.  Soon the cry for Trump’s impeachment will be as loud on Wall Street as it is in the FBI.

Fortunately, I have no money, so none of this really concerns me.  Instead, like other accredited journalists, I’m giddily anticipating a complete stock market disaster so we can finally elect someone whom we can actually trust to manage our money properly:  Michelle Obama.

As a Marxist spendthrift, Michelle has a history of instilling confidence in the markets.  With Michelle in charge, other countries would see how lavishly our rulers live on the public dime, so they would be much more likely to keep loaning us large amounts of money at shockingly low interest rates.  Then, following the wisdom of Psalm 37:21, we can live lavishly as well.

Donald Trump is the enemy of humanity.  Trump has viciously attacked our Deep State superiors and is apparently even threatening to disclose that they illegally redirected FISA warrantless wiretapping in addition to surveilling Trump’s Russophile buddy, Carter Page.  Fortunately, the Deep State has “six ways from Sunday” to get back at that bastard Trump — and it looks like they’re finally taking appropriate measures to do so.

A stock market collapse would be a wonderful thing.  We could blame Trump for causing a “Greater Depression” and could finally have the full-blown socialist state that we need — just like Venezuela.

Happy trading!

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31 Comments on "Trump Crashes the Stock Market"

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Pbier

‘What caused the crash?’ asks the Accredited Media. Because there is always a trigger; falls do not occur for no reason.

High frequency trading systems are even more emotional than human traders. HFTs are designed to experience both greed and fear according what the accredited media reports. My guess is that some complex algorithm took note of Trump STOPPING HIS SPEECH TO SIP WATER (ffs) and panicked. Sipping water during a speech (ffs) is a fat tail event that simply could not have been anticipated. Scared at what sipping water (ffs) might mean for geopolitics, the HFT promptly placed trillions of short sell orders, leading to the ensuing chaos.

MillionDollarBonus

Yes, the efficient market hypothesis says that stock prices are objectively determined by “information” in the economy. So if the stock market is crashing right now, it’s because of things that Trump is doing to destroy the economy RIGHT NOW. It’s not anything that happened four or eight years ago. Obama FIXED the economy by spending lots of money!!

TedCruz
TedCruz

A simple assessment of means, motive and opportunity proves the Democrat crime syndicate did it. That Perez dufus broke the DNC, leading to a short VIX scam implemented by Clintonistas (Podesta, et. al.) is the root cause of this carnage according to Jim Cramer.

Debbie What’s-her-name Schultz and many of the usual suspects are missing, like all that stock money stolen from widows and orphans. Trump has ordered the FBI to watch passengers on all departing international flights. All Hillary henchmen will be detained and sent to Guantanamo. Thankfully Obama kept it open.

MillionDollarBonus

Who cares what that crack head Jim Cramer thinks. He agreed with Trump’s assessment of the economy a while ago!

MillionDollarBonus

Trump has been boasting about how well the stock market has been doing and how well his sucker supporters’ IRAs are doing. Well what do you have to say now Trump? Huh? Huh? Paul Krugman and numerous top economists have been warning about how Trump will crash the economy for ages, and now they being vindicated! OF COURSE this was going to happen! If you close off the freakin’ borders and deport half of America’s vital labor force, shut off peoples’ healthcare, kill important trade deals like the TPP and stop companies from outsourcing, what the hell do you THINK is going to happen?? Trump is tearing our economy apart and there’s nothing we can do about it! Well done Republicans, you’ve just destroyed our economy AGAIN, just like bush did!!

Abu
Abu

Also, since Mexico refused to pay for the wall and American tax payers have to pay all those billions America have to build wall between Canada and America too. The reason is Canada have criminal and prisoners in Canada, they come here illegally too. But if America just built wall between Mexico and America, and not Canada the wall will not be fair. And if America build Southern and Northern walls, of course more more money from the American tax payers.

#accredited-times-pick

MillionDollarBonus

Exactly – the wall is going to cost a fortune! I know, we progressives normally don’t fret about spending, but if it’s Trump’s policies we’re talking about then we DO care about spending, the constitution and free trade all at once!

James O. Eastland Democrat and Dixiecrat
James O. Eastland Democrat and Dixiecrat

I’m no Byrd-man, altho he like me is a proud KKK Democrrat. The fact there are no highways, airports, or even bridges named for me in sweet home Mississippi is behind this sell-off. I’ll explain it all in a future post.

James O. Eastland Democrat and Dixiecrat
James O. Eastland Democrat and Dixiecrat

It all started in the ’60s. Goddammed beat-generation wastrels, negros, homos, leeches got government jobs, leading to all the moral hazard we see now. I can explain it to you but can’t understand it for you. Are you people never happy with the destruction you’ve caused?

hungrypirana
hungrypirana

Go back to Rhodesia.

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