It seems like no matter how hard CRT scholars and black activists work to educate white people about their privilege, many of them still just don’t get it. It’s almost like white people live in a fantasy world in which they think everyone likes them, when in reality they are hated and envied by almost everyone. We constantly see white girls helping out African kids in Ghana, thinking that their efforts are somehow appreciated and absolve them of their guilt. Ummmmm, hundreds of year of slavery? Ummmm, hundreds of innocent African American youths gunned down by white policemen? Ummmm, millions of women of color raped by white slave owners? I don’t think so sweetheart. You’re still racist. White people have endless reasons why they should be free to live guilt free and not bow their heads in shame or grovel to people of color. But the truth is, people of color are sick and tried of their excuses. People of color want white people to empty out their wallets and give them a chance to be rich and successful in a society that was built on racism and oppression. Because right now, all they see is white people with power, money and status and black people living in poverty and getting arrested for crimes they didn’t commit. So without further ado, here are the top 10 lame ass excuses whites use to absolve themselves of their racism, and why they are bullshit.
I Have Black Friends
So you have a black friend or two? So what! You think we don’t know you’re just using them to convince yourself that you’re not prejudiced? Why is it such a big deal to have a friend of color anyway? Why do you even feel that this is something you should even mention? You’re being racist just by mentioning you’ve got a black friend, because you’re singling them out and using them, just like your ancestors used their ancestors as freakin’ SLAVES!
I Voted For Obama
This has got to be one of the most pathetic excuses of them all. Great, you gave us a black president – congratulations! Do you expect people of color to just sit back and ignore your racism now because you put a black person in the white house? Do you think they’re going to ignore the fact that you voted for Trump when you’d had enough of our black president? You just want to sweep all of your crimes against people of color under the rug because you voted for a black president ONE TIME. You’re still fucking RACIST!
I Give Money To Charity
Oh puuuleease! You think giving millions of dollars to charity to help poor African children somehow makes up for destroying the entire continent with colonialism and imperialism? You think handing out a few crumbs to black Africans while white people still own all of the major companies throughout Africa and are still bleeding the continent dry, makes you a good person? Wake me up when all of Europe’s wealth is returned to Africa and Buckingham Palace is relocated to Nigeria, along with its new black princess, Meghan Markle!
I Work at an NGO
Awww, aren’t you adorable. You thought that sweating and laboring away in the Kenyan heat to help African children was going to absolve you of your guilt? Well, newsflash – you’re still racist, and what’s more you’re another white person demeaning Africans by thinking they need to be “helped”. Oh, let’s all praise the compassionate white heroes for helping some black children, and worship them like gods! Let’s just ignore the fact that their ancestors RUINED the whole of Africa, Haiti, the Caribbean and Black Wall Street! Go to hell!
I Like Reggae and Rap Music
Seriously? You thought your lame white ass was going to be excused cos you like black music? I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but ALL of the major music awards are for people of color now, cos white people SUCK at music! It’s not because there’s a coordinated campaign to destroy and marginalize rock, country and metal – it’s that people of color are the true rock stars! Beethoven? Mozart? Bach? Get the fuck out of here! Jay Z is the Mozart of our era!
I Adopted a Black Baby
Oh wow, good for you. Are you going to read that baby The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, an Enid Blyton Novel or another one of your racist white “classics”? Well done for raising another uncle Tom who is going to defend the white establishment and think of themselves as inferior! Seriously? You’re disgusting and evil human being!
I Protested With Black Lives Matter
Get to the back of the line honky! What the hell are you even doing there anyway – don’t you know you’re part of the problem? You’re the reason millions of African Americans are gunned down EVERY YEAR! You’re the reason Nelson Mandela was arrested for planting pipe bombs in schools and was served a prolonged sentence for refusing to denounce terrorism!
I Run a Church Program to Help African American Youths
Oh lord, will somebody please just brutally murder all of these do-gooder white American Christians like they did in the Kingsman movie? You’re a fucking BIGOT ok? You think you can just take black children out of their communities and imply that white people do a better job raising them than their parents? You think you can feed African American children your snake oil and indoctrinate the next generation of people of color? Nice try, but it’s not going to work.
I Have Dreadlocks
Two words – CULTURAL APPROPRIATION! Dreadlocks were freakin’ INVENTED by black people, not the Greeks as some people claim, but by BLACK PEOPLE. That’s THEIR INVENTION, and and THEIR CULTURE! You can’t just steal someone’s inventions and culture like that! Oh, now you want to claim that literally all modern inventions of significant value were invented by white males? Or that a suit and tie is white culture? Well, you don’t even know what you’re talking about. Those things were invented by people of color too, you just didn’t hear about it in your RACIST Eurocentic history books!
I Have a Black Girlfriend or Boyfriend
Are you actually serious right now? Did you really think you were going to be accepted into black culture because you’re dating an Uncle Tom or Aunt Jemima? You’re racist – just accept it and shut the fuck up! ALL WHITE PEOPLE ARE FUCKING RACIST!!!