Retarded NBC Commentators Steal the Show During the Olympics

Katie Couric, a Boomer.

P.F. Chang’s, South Korea (Accredited Times) — Who says the Winter Olympics aren’t special?  So far retarded NBC commentators have wowed fans and non-fans alike with the sheer retardedness and inanity of their commentary.

First up:  Katie Couric.  According to Couric, the reason the Dutch have had success in Olympic speed-skating is because that’s just how Dutch people travel in Amsterdam.  You know, kind of like how Alaskans travel by dogsled and Coney Islanders travel by roller-coaster.

Rush hour in Amsterdam.
Alaskans traveling to work.

“It is probably not a news flash to tell you the Dutch are really, really good at speedskating,” a pensive Couric noted during the opening ceremony last week.  “All but five of the 110 medals they’ve won have been on the speedskating oval.  Now, ‘Why are they so good?’ you may be asking yourselves.  Because skating is an important mode of transportation in a city like Amsterdam which sits at sea level.  As you all know, it has lots of canals that can freeze in the winters.  So, for as long as those canals have existed, the Dutch have skated on them to get from place to place, to race each other, and also to have fun.”

Couric, a Boomer, has long served as an important source of information for the Boomer Generation, the smartest generation ever.  Thankfully, NBC keeps trotting out this babalicious 61-year-old, even though she may be slightly past her expiration date.  Boomers forever!  Don’t let those young people ever have any jobs!

Next up:  Joshua Cooper Ramo.  Ramo, a Latino, has wowed audiences with his Latino background and Latinoness.  He even majored in Latin American economics in college.  Although Ramo does not actually have any sports background, the important point is that he is Latino and works for the Kissinger Associates as a Latino.  He is also a Latino member of the Council of Foreign Relations.  Unfortunately, Ramo, a Latino, inadvertently caused a major international incident by saying that Korea has modeled its policies after Japan.  It turns out that Koreans actually hate Japan, so Koreans were kind of pissed.  Oops!

“Now representing Japan, a country which occupied Korea from 1910 to 1945.  But every Korean will tell you that Japan is a cultural and technological and economic example that has been so important to their own transformation,” Ramo noted.

Koreans reacted with rage toward Ramo’s “culturally insensitive” statement.  “Your comments about Korea are absolutely lubbish!  Lubbish!  After decades of human lights violations, exploiting our lesources, and attempts to destloy our heritage, Japan is nowhere close to being thanked, but absolutely despised!” one commentator noted.  Chill out, bro!

Sadly, Ramo was fired from NBC’s Olympic coverage early this week.

Joshua Cooper Ramo es un muchacho Latino.

So far, NBC’s Olympic coverage has been Olympic in its Boomerness and sheer retardedness.  Not to be outdone, ABC’s Chicago affiliate declared the Olympics to be based at “P.F. Chang’s” instead of “Pyeongchang.”  P.F. Chang’s is a popular Chinese restaurant chain.  I’ll take the Kung Pao Chicken please!

I hope the next Olympics are at Chili’sI want my baby-back, baby-back, baby-back ribs.

We at the Accredited Times firmly applaud NBC for its coverage.  Boomers and disadvantaged minorities clearly make the best commentators.  Boomers need to keep booming until they’re 90 — at least!  Thank you, NBC, and please try to keep from drooling on yourself during the next P.F. Chang’s commercial.  These Olympics truly are special.

Nothing will get you to the Olympics faster than eating McDonald’s every day. So go buy some McDonald’s today.

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17 Comments on "Retarded NBC Commentators Steal the Show During the Olympics"

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Hooray 4 Hollywood
Hooray 4 Hollywood

Thank you BLM! One of your timeliest, most engaging, and best ever!!!



It’s not their fault! They’re boomers! Boomers never do anything wrong, even though they were and still are the main political driving force behind all the policies that were introduced over the last few decades! It’s their CHILDREN and grandchildren who are to blame. Those little bastards haven’t had a chance to do anything yet, but they just don’t take any personal responsibility, and they’re probably GOING to mess things up. They’re just so damn ENTITLED! They want affordable education, affordable housing, good jobs and the ability to start businesses without crippling regulations and taxes or being swamped by immigrants, all things the boomers had. What a bunch of spoiled brats!

And as for the Olympics, North Korea just continue to wow the world with their amazing elegance and class. I’m just stunned at how well they carry themselves, how talented their athletes are and how culturally rich their country is. North Korea isn’t the bad place it was made out to be by conservatives after all. Am I the only one who almost finds myself rooting for Kim Jon Un over Trump?


Are the crippled journalist olympics during Summer games?

Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness
Mules! Proof of Allahs Kindness

I believe that the NFL should fire 80% of its Black players and hire Whites.

Thus is purely a step in racial equality.

The fired Blacks can go back to Chicago and spend the rest of their short lives doing what Blacks do Best

Killing each Other.


White Lives Matter More
White Lives Matter More

If the US Olympic team were to file before an Olympics held in Cuba (or pretty much any other Latin American country which had suffered US economic imperialism in the past), and some ignorant buffoon of a commentator from any country were to claim that “Now representing the United States, a country which occupied Cuba from 1898-1901. But every Cuban will tell you that the United States is a cultural and technological and economic example that has been so important to their own transformation…” then any Cuban would tell you to shut the f*** up, puto. And, if you could maybe even find one other person who might agree with you on this politically controversial statement, the more important question: why even bring this up? Great job, NBC!