The Age of Yellen – A New Landmark for Women's Rights


The appointment of Janet Yellen as Fed Chairwoman marks the first female appointment to this esteemed economic position. This is a pivotal event for women’s rights, marking the end of an almost 100 year period of male dominance at the Reserve Bank. For almost a century our economy has been denied the sensible and prudent input of women, and sadly our economy is still dominated by misogynistic CEOs, engineers and managers despite the fact that women excel in academia with the exception of the archaic patriarchal hard sciences. Many feminists believe that the only solution to gender equality is to mandate that employers give women a chance in the workplace, and our government is starting to lead the way by opening up the most powerful positions to female candidates. Now that Yellen has assumed the most influential economic position in America, many analysts are wondering what female monetary policy will look like and what this means for the global economy.

A Calmer Market

Women have a much smaller appetite for risk than men. I expect Chairwoman Yellen to seriously dampen the hopes of outspoken hawks on the FOMC. This will create a safe predictable investing environment for equity and bond investors by marking an end to the tightening scares that frequently wreck havoc in the markets. The markets are in desperate need of consistency and predictability. Our steadily rising stock market has done wonders for the global economy and opened up the market to everyone, allowing even retail investors with a modest understanding of investing to get a decent return. I predict that Yellen’s monetary prudence will restore balance to the markets, allowing investors and entrepreneurs to invest confidently without worrying about “tail risks” or liquidity scares.

An End to Cowboy Capitalism

With steadily rising equity markets and reliably low interest rates, you can expect our economy to boom in years to come. But for the risk taking cavaliers out there, I’m afraid Yellen has some bad news. Janet Yellen is fiercely opposed to excessive risk taking and promises to take uncompromising actions against those who choose to abuse our economic recovery. Women do not have the same risk-taking tendencies that plague our clumsy male-dominated economy. Women are far less likely to make dangerous decisions or offend peoples’ expectations. Expect to see a universal calming influence on the global economy and an end to the rash decision making that characterized the 2008 market crash.

Economic Gender Equality

Sexism in politics is arguably the cause of many if not the majority of our economic problems. Girls excel at public schools and comprise the majority of college campuses, so it makes little sense that the economic landscape should be controlled almost exclusively by men. Monetary policy needs the cool headed sense and the calm decisiveness of women, but all it gets is the oafish act-first think-later attitudes of immature men. Wall Street’s Gung-ho risk taking attitudes need to be tempered by female prudence and calm consideration. If we as a society do not take the demands of feminists seriously it may well be we, not they, that suffer the consequences. Gender equality doesn’t stop at employment – if we want to experience the true benefits of an equal society we need to start offering up the most powerful positions in government and at our Reserve Bank to those who have been denied these opportunities for centuries.


  1. Her ascendancy …. is proof of the sublime decency …. the all embracing inclusiveness …. of our Socialist family ! All for one and one for all time ! Monedas 1929 Comedy Jihad World Tour

  2. Now, let us turn ourselves …. to the most egregious gender inequality …. the “Life Expectancy Glass Coffin Lid” ! Monedas 1929 Comedy Jihad World Tour

  3. For too long sexism has meant the only way a woman could advance was by being noticeably more compentant than male rivals. Finally, we have proof this is no longer the case.

  4. It’s been shown in many studies that estrogen is highly correlated with intelligence, and testosterone very much highly correlated with a lack thereof. Unfortunately, brawn continues to trump brains in this physically dominated world.

    I believe it’s no coincidence that the emergence of women in the workforce in the 1970s and 80s is associated with the greatest economic expansion in U.S. history. During this time, we saw a fantastic explosion in computing power and improvements in vehicle fuel efficiency. Does anyone believe for a second that a man would have invented a way of doing the same thing with fewer resources? Women, traditional grocery shoppers who need to be able to stretch a dollar, are naturally suited for running businesses.

    If we can get our lawmakers to mandate that 50% of all CEOs are women, then I believe we will truly begin the next great economic boom. I personally believe that the boom would be far greater if we mandated that all CEOs were women, but I’m sure that’s not politically feasible at this time. Also, sexism isn’t something that I like to engage in.

  5. This is fantastic news, of course, but surely we can do better?… – A female POTUS in ’16 oughta round out a decade of unprecedented Progress nicely… – Trust me on this one *NOTHING*’s gonna stop it!…

    (ps: Gov Christie: – Ah be feelin’ yo pain, right now, sir… Ah sho’ly do!…)