Why We Need Family Audits

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Public schools educate our children in a variety of relevant subjects such as science, environmentalism, social consciousness and life skills. Sadly however, much of this good work is undone when children return home to bigoted families, who cling to old and discredited beliefs that undermine what they learn in school. Many of these ideas stand in the way of global progress, and create fragmented, rebellious societies that refuse to come together to tackle important problems such as climate change and gun violence.

When students are taught about the science of climate change or the reality about racism and sexism in society, many teachers are shocked when they return to school with questions about the validity of what they’ve been taught. Many children have these doubts planted in their heads by parents who subscribe to far-right ideologies and support fringe political candidates such as Donald Trump. It’s almost impossible to educate these children, as their parents consistently challenge what they’re taught in school. For this reason, many social scholars now believe it is imperative that we institute mandatory family audits by qualified parenting experts, in order to ensure that what is being taught at home is accurate and in accordance with the school curriculum.

Government curriculums are reviewed and assessed by the world’s most distinguished scholars and experts. Every conclusion taught by public schools has been verified and accredited, so parents can rest assured that what their children are taught is both true and moral. We need to draw the line between what children should learn at school, and what they should learn at home. Many subjects require an elite level of education, and should only be taught by qualified teachers from validated curriculums. Regular family audits would ensure that parents are restricted to educating their children in a small domain of simple, non-political subjects, that don’t require a high level of education. We owe it to future generations to put this system in place, so that our children receive accurate information and can make informed decisions about their lives and about where to take the world.

David
David

Very good points! I think especially white families need an outside guidance to lead their children back on the liberal path of freedom, acceptance and equal gender rights. What good ever came out of white families? Except racism and micro aggressions and that’s not good in the first place anyway. I sometimes fear we already lost it with the older generations (those that vote for the fringe populists such as Drumpf). But with proper information we can make it right with the young ones. Let’s work together for a better future of our children! Or even better: Have none, to slow the inevitable overpopulation of our precious earth. I’m with you!

MillionDollarBonus_

I agree. I think white families are the primary demographic that stands in the way of progress. We need to focus on conservative white families with a tendancy to support right wing political candidates and have unconventional beliefs. White children need to understand their privileged position in society and learn to not be so bold as to question the moral and intellectual superiority of others. If we do not subdue the next generation of whites, we may find we have another Hitler on our hands! It may have happened already – just look at Donald Trump!

JustAProgressive
JustAProgressive

Fortunately, the FEMA camps are close to completion and we can finally round-up all white people, lock them up and throw away the key. Only then will the world truly be safe.

MillionDollarBonus_

I share your sentiments, but I think we need white people to work in order to pay reparations. Taxes need to be raised on rich and middle class whites in order to compensate people of color and begin to repare the damage that has been done to them over hundreds of years.

Dude
Dude

I don’t understand how anyone can downvote you. I guess it shows the importance of an accredited education and the absolute necessity of family audits by certified experts

MillionDollarBonus_

Absolutely. The horrible right-wing comments I receive here are simply shocking, and really speak to the vile nature of conservatism and libertarianism. We have a LOT of work do I’m afraid.

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

Not all libertarianism is bad. After all, Cass Sunstein describes xerself as a “libertarian paternalist.” That means using government to nudge people so that they “choose” healthy living — for example, raising taxes on meat so that people choose healthier vegan diets, which also helps control CO2. Similarly, we could nudge people to accept family audits, given that, as Hillary Clinton famously noted, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Once the capitalists are removed, a fully functioning communist state should essentially be libertarian in nature in that people will choose sharing instead of corporate greed. That’s the kind of libertarianism I can get behind.

J
J

MillionDollarBonus, you really need to read Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill. Stick with it until you get to the interview with the devil. You will learn a thing or two. Unfortunately you can’t fathom that blacks and whites can and do get along with eachother. It’s just people like you who keep the hatred alive. You are the problem. Gen X blacks and whites are the problem, Babyboomers black and white are the problem. The slavery issue is too close. But guess what, millennials -black, white. Get along. Fancy that.

trav777

Families are outmoded relics of the patriarchy…listen to you people with your cisgendered, cisfamilial ways. Don’t you know that it is the current year, bigots???

Families have always been racist- look at the data, and by data I mean only look at data when it supports my position, otherwise it’s “scientific racism.” The proof is that black lives have less families…why is this? Because white supremacy is denying them “access” and “opportunity” to form families. Any time there is a difference in outcome, white racism is to blame. And it’s clear that whites are destroying the families of others and committing microaggressions galore in this regard.

If families weren’t racist, blacks and whites would have the same family formation rates, because we are ALL PRECISELY MATHEMATICALLY EQUAL IN EVERY WAY EXCEPT SKIN COLOR, and this has been proven over and over again so many times by the bald assertions of social scientists and anti-racists that only a Nazi would question it.

Who can even define what a family is? Ciswhite cisgendered, cisbigots? How can you look at a child who has 2 or even 3 mommies and say that this is or isn’t a family. A family is, like everything else, a social construct erected by the patriarchy and white supremacy to lock everyone else out. Now, someone might retort that nonwhite families of particular ethnicities (Asian, Indo-Aryan) have much higher family formation rates and lower divorce rates than whites, but AGAIN, Asian is NOT A REAL RACE because its existence shits on the narrative of black/white dialectic and what that “proves” about concepts of white supremacy and white privilege! GOT IT, NAZI?

If families are racist, then families should be ABOLISHED. It takes a fucking VILLAGE to raise a child, bigots, not a fuckin family! This is current fucking year, wowjustwow.

MillionDollarBonus_

Agreed. I think we’ve evolved past the need for families anyway, as studies now show that single mothers do a better job raising children than two parent housholds. And you’re right – families are a social construct. Who’s to say that a family has to consist of a man and a woman with children? Many children are adopted and have two mothers, or three or more parents of non-binary genders. Who’s to say that if a trans person wants to adopt or have a test tube baby, that xe is not a parent because xe doesn’t fit into the traditional ‘mother’ or ‘father’ role?

drb6
drb6

Trav has good points, but the foul language in his posts makes me feel unsafe and victimized. #SAFESPACE should have no aggression.

trav777

I was triggered

Marcus
Marcus

Amazingly my IQ dropped 20 points from reading your pointless drivel. Please step into on coming traffic as soon ass possible your gene pool doesn’t deserve a proper place in history….

Benjamin J Gates
Benjamin J Gates

This would be the scariest blog I’d ever seen, if it were serious. Thank God it’s satire.

jfb
jfb

I have to disagree with David, the problem is not so much about the colour, it’s about dysfunctional families based on patriarchat, one wyman, one man, most children will encounter too much stress under such circunstances. There are still too few famillies with 2 fathers, or one single mother, or 3 transgenders, or a combination of mutants.

MillionDollarBonus_

I think race is an important heuristic when determining which families are more likely to teach anti-progressive ideas. But you make an important point about the heteronormativity of society’s conception of the family. As Trav says, families are social contructs, and have many different forms. Some people like to view society as a family, so children growing up in state facilities without traditional parents are still part of a family, and this shouldn’t be shunned as an inferior method of child rearing.

average joe
average joe

what is this, A parody of the Onion?
Even the comments seem to be missing /sarc tags? or did i wake up in an alternate universe today?

MillionDollarBonus_

Common sense seems like an alternate universe to you? Maybe you should check your privilege.

Marcus
Marcus

Being a professional victim is not a real job.. FYI

RationalInvestor
RationalInvestor

The World is changing quickly for the better.

If these changes towards a global, multicultural World scare you, certainly a therapist can help you to adapt to these rapid changes.

Free help against your “Adjustment Disorder” is available for only a quick search on:

https://clinicaltrials.gov

Online therapy is readily available for anyone unable to adapt.

Dude
Dude

Woosh! Lol

drb6
drb6

I hope very much that one day you wake up in a progressive, minority-dominated universe where there are no bias against oppressed groups.

Marcus
Marcus

While all said groups are playing the oppression Olympics who is actually going to work. Its tough being a minority in america when your only marketable skill is being BLACK..

RationalInvestor
RationalInvestor

The non-LBGTQA Whites are going to work and pay taxes. How else would they make their reparation payments (a.k.a. taxes)?

Benjamin J Gates
Benjamin J Gates

I’m wondering the exact same thing, average joe.

Mepper
Mepper

@average joe: This is satire. Taking mainstream views to the extreme to show where they go wrong. I very much hope there is nobody here who truly believes all of this, although nobody will off course admit it, that would break the spell. You and I are already doing that btw so MillionDollarBonus feel free to remove my comment if you don’t want my ridiculous conspiracy theories about your motivations on your site. Maybe you should make entirely clear that this site is a safe space were intelligent people can share there views without being disturbed by conspiracy theorists like me.

Ms. Skrelly Dolezal
Ms. Skrelly Dolezal

You’re a fucking white male!!

Marcus
Marcus

And your a fucking black woman.. The most privileged group in america today. Irony got to love it..

Ms. Skrelly Dolezal
Ms. Skrelly Dolezal

I’ve done my research. (see Carl Le Cucks groundbreaking work)

jfb
jfb

Another of those nutcases from zerohedge who want to spread their conspiracy theories and stop progressism, for some strange reason they seem attracted by this website. It’s one thing to educate them, but at some point it looks hopeless.

Marcus
Marcus

We are only here to see what a zero degree education gets you in the abyss of common sense called progressive liberalism. feel free to head to your nearest safe space. We have skittles and teddy bears for you.

MillionDollarBonus_

You’re right about one thing – this site is here to educate people. But the purpose of this education is to expand the horizons of bigots like yourself by exposing you to progressive arguments. It’s also a place for progressives to discuss new ideas about how to shape the world and make it fairer and more just.

Marcus
Marcus

Your problem is lack of talent. Not access or skin color or race.. Everyone needs to feel special in a progressive america..

drb6
drb6

Everyone IS special in progressive America, unless he is a heterosexual white male. Then he is just an oppressor.

Looking Glass
Looking Glass

George Soros is proud of you MDB.

Kevin Price
Kevin Price

Million dollar bonus is tolerant of ridiculous conspiracy theories such as yours. It helps make his case for accredited education and family audits, that such conspiracy minded folk exist. You can break through your paranoia and racial extremism with an accredited therapist. No one is beyond redemption

Quant
Quant

Families

RationalInvestor
RationalInvestor

Families are not the problem. The only problem are the white, alpha males who head these families.

I imagine a future with farms where multicultural mothers and children can congregate without being oppressed by white male bigotry and aggression.

MillionDollarBonus_

That sounds like a far better system than the white male patriarchy. Mothers don’t need men at all – feminism taught us that womyn can have exciting careers while leaving their kids at daycare where they can be raised by more womyn.

drb6
drb6

I disagree. It should be perfectly normal and acceptable for a child to have TWO fathers (just like two mothers, even if both are white). One father-one mother families are relics of oppressive, mysoginic past and thus should be discouraged. However, we should be sensitive to one father-four mothers arrangement that is common for Muslims. If we are not, and if we do not encourage such arrangement in the US, then we are sexist, racist, homophobic, and Islamophobic, just like Donald Drumpf.

RationalInvestor
RationalInvestor

Two fathers would be acceptable if gay or transgender.

MillionDollarBonus_

This conversation is really opening my mind to how oppressive our current society is! Mother-father families are privileged, heteronormative and oppressive. Other family structures need to be equally recognized and should not be shunned by society. If any number of people want to form a family, then ze (gender neutral pronoun) should have the right to do that, regardless of gender, race or anything else. Families are social constructs.

drb6
drb6

I think we can summarize the results of our non-biased, non-Eurocentric, and non-patriarchal discussion. Any type of family is acceptable, unless it is a one-woman-one man family, where woman is obviously oppressed and children brought up to become sexist and racist individuals. I think that even one man family would be OK, if that man is transgender or gay!
I would suggest that MDB apply to NIH or Gates foundation for a grant based on these discussions.

Owly
Owly

Daycare is overwhelmingly staffed by white women. They are–consciously or not–inculcating the next generation of children with a white supremist mindset. A progressive solution is to open up daycares to the halfway house model, so that oppressed men of color can spend time with young privileged children, get them comfortable with multiculturalism, and show them that just because a PoC went to jail, they’re not bad or dangerous people.

MillionDollarBonus_

Another excellent point. White parents should also be forced to adopt at least one child of color for every child of their own. We have to tackle this problem from many different angles to topple white privilege, which is so ingrained into every aspect of society.

Marcus
Marcus

Give a white man some bricks and he will build you a city. Give a black man a city he will give you a pile of bricks.

drb6
drb6

Crawl back into your KKK cave, racist!

Franklin Angus McConnor Jr.

Before the actual audits take hold, is it possible for a white guy to get race reassignment? Is castration advisable, too?

Although I’m whiter than white, like Tide commercial hanging on the line white, I’ve always dreamt of being and felt like a person of color. I mean like ham hocks, enchilada and chickpea hues as opposed to my mashed, gravy and tenderloin shades.

So, is there transracialism in our future so that one might hope escape the degradation of being constantly mocked a privileged white man? Does it mean giving up my NFL fetish?

Also, what can I do with all of these guns? You name it, I’ll shoot it to hell.

Please, help!

RationalInvestor
RationalInvestor

Sorry, transracialism is cultural appropriation.

But you are encouraged to choose a different gender.

Marcus
Marcus

Lol.. No more rap music for me. Can’t keep a black man down..

drb6
drb6

You can most certainly become a transgender gay person, thus improving on the non-oppression scale (where white, cis-gender, heterosexual male is the most oppressive, and black, transgender gay woman is not oppressive at all.

MillionDollarBonus_

Race is a social construct, but as RI and drb point out, it is not acceptable for a privileged white male to culturally appropriate an oppressed person of color. You other options are to choose a non-binary gender or convert to Islam, as I and many others have done.

Franklin Angus McConnor Jr.

Trans-Islam, ..genius!

If I work on a tan I think maybe a baby blue burka for prayers to Allah might work with my Seahawks under T and a concealed carry 45.

One can have one’s chickpeas and eat them, too! It’s a wonderful life, Allah Akbar, after all!

This is the place for sociosexualpolitical guidance. Thanks, MDB

drb6
drb6

There is absolutely no need for sarcasm and microagressions when discussing important topic such as this. Flagged for intolerance.

Franklin Angus McConnor Jr.

Oh! Please be assured: no snarc intended, drb6.

Just nothing worse than insincere pretenders to trans-tolerances of every stripe and description.

Any residual aggression will be better channeled once secure under burka veil with my T & a G37.

You see, even a silly little down flag is tolerable with a little help from such good new friends. :-}{-:

Marcus
Marcus

Flagged for not being tolerant to opposing view points. I thought we were color blind here.

2030 White Genocide
2030 White Genocide

When we have the right person in the white house I want to see laws restricting white people from having children. At first I wanted to honor our bi-racial couples and encourage white women to marry men of color but then there is just too many white or white-mixed people in this world. I want to see zero child policy in place for any person with more than 40% caucasian dna. Death to all white people.

drb6
drb6

Flagged for intolerance. Even though white people are oppressors, we should welcome those of them who express remorse for past and present atrocities committed by their race, and hold correct political views. No violence here, please.

I think you might be white yourself – no minorities have even been so violent.

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

I have major concerns with the NFL. With the protests against the so-called “national anthem,” it seems like the NFL is finally taking steps in the right direction. But the NFL needs to go further before anyone should watch.

The NFL needs to make several key changes. First, rather than violently tackling and hitting opponents, players should hug each other on every play. Second, the rules should allow players to hold hands and engage in other consensual contact and intercourse on the field aside from just slapping each other on the gluteus maximus; the fact that this is not allowed by the current NFL may explain the absence of LGBTQQIAP players. Third, the concept of “scoring” need to be eliminated; “scoring” is fundamentally a sexist concept that hearkens back to the “bad old days” where men treated womyn like cattle. Fourth, “teams” should be eliminated as well. If we’re going to promote unity and global governance, we should all be on the same team. Finally, there are obviously too many white males. Following population levels, at least 51% need to be womyn and at least 25% need to be LGBTQQIAP.

jfb
jfb

What’s left to watch after such measures is up to your imagination but it could have a pedagogic effect on young children

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

Also, the NFL needs to implement shariah law in its rule book. Failing to do so would be Islamophobic.

drb6
drb6

NFL is a difficult question. On one hand, it is racially diverse, unlike universities. Perhaps universities should become more like NFL or school football teams. On the other hand, watching NFL games is the last socially-accepted channel of male bonding and aggression, which obviously has negative implications for gender equality and has to be corrected. Perhaps changing game rules to decrease aggression on the field would do it. That would also decrease or eliminate the amount of traumatic head injuries that have been reported by retired NFL players.

Black Lives Matter
Black Lives Matter

You’re right about the aggression, but there are still too many white males. Diversity is a major problem with the NFL. The NBA does much better on racial diversity, but it has issues with gender/non-gendered diversity, as well as other issues. Universities are obviously a major problem and are a big reason why this country is so conservative.

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[…] Why We Need Family Audits […]

the Diomed
the Diomed

Hillary Clinton mentioned this in a town hall. I remember quite clearly as there were only about 150 people there. I suggested that there was a high likelihood that audits would soon show a positive correlation between race and politics on the one hand and carbon responsibility on the other (obviously), and that therefore we could gently euthanize two birds with one stone. I also suggested that silicon valley get involved, that they write algorithms that parse home speech directly from home appliances and convert that into a tax/carbon bill that automatically deducts from the bank accounts of the household. It will take a bit of work but the future is exciting indeed!

2_Happy_Cis_Females
2_Happy_Cis_Females

You make some great points. Does Madam Secretary Hillary Clinton read your blog? We need to send this her way as she will help to push changes in this country. It is time to abolish white privilege like the Democrats abolished slavery!

Fred Toon
Fred Toon

A family audit is useless unless it includes a full accounting of all weapons stored at the house hold?

Che Guevara Humnaitarian, Champion of the people
Che Guevara Humnaitarian, Champion of the people

I saw a gun in a neighbors house and called the police and told them. They came and arrested the white man but later more white men let him go without even charging him for having a gun! I was so afraid that the gun might shoot me. I could not sleep that night and had to see a therapist.

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[…] Why We Need Family Audits […]

Dave
Dave

I think scientists need to develop a stronger form of AIDS or something like it that is more efficient in dealing with leftards.

drb6
drb6

The absolute majority of scientists, especially in social sciences, are leftists (whom you insensitively disparage as “leftards”). Conservatives are mostly white, uneducated trailer-trash who are unable to invent anything.

Marcus
Marcus

Unlike the vast majority of modern science and technology. Oh that’s right we stole it from Africa. I hear Ethiopia and Sudan are truly marvels of modern engineering and sophisticated living. If only….

RationalInvestor
RationalInvestor

They were Kings of Culture back when Europeans were living in caves. The White Race has a long way to go to catch up with the accomplishments of the African Cultures.

drb6
drb6

In 2000 BC, Africa was civilized (see Nubians etc), while Europeans and Americans were living in caves and killing each other with wooden clubs. If not for institutionalized racism and biases, things would be different today.

2030 White Genocide
2030 White Genocide

White people need a disease like AIDS that only kills white people. Some day the oppressed scientists of color will create it and then the world will be rid of these anachronistic and atavistic white people.

trimetgawker

I totally agree with this article. Family heads are putting their children at great risk by trying to direct them against the obvious turning of the tide re: race equality, gender-fluid awareness, institutional and centralized education and also the possibility and benefits of works units, among myriad other important, progressive issues.

Jason Strother of WSJ has an excellent article on the benefits of robotic parenting with a piece on ATTI (Bye bye Daddy, Hello ATTI) the robot parent. ATTI was created by mobile phone maker SK Telecom created OXY which uses the smartphone as its brain– it’s programed with songs, games and other interactive learning software and are ready to replace bio parents in the event family heads fail the inevitable audits.

wpDiscuz