The Carefree Life Of A Corporate Executive


As progressives know very well, the so-called “job creators” who build and operate companies, are the most privileged and pampered people in the world. While collecting sickeningly large paychecks, these executives and entrepreneurs live lives of luxury, while the people beneath them do all the real work. Watching them on television, all they ever seem to do is give speeches, have meetings, go to fancy restaurants and play golf. Why should people who live such leisurely lives be rewarded with such obscene amounts of money?

While hundreds of lower-level employees, including many on the minimum wage, do real work, corporate executives are most likely sitting back and relaxing and watching the money role in. A typical day for a corporate CEO probably consists of the following:

05:30 – Wake up, take a vitamin C infused shower and put on your custom tailored suit and million dollar Swiss watch

06:00 – Head to the dining room for a breakfast prepared by your very own chef and served by your butler

06:30 – Kiss your trophy wife goodbye and head to work in a private car driven by your very own chauffeur 

07:00 – Get the elevator to your your luxury office in a shiny high rise building, as hundreds of admiring employees smile and greet you

07:30 – Have your secretary bring you a coffee while you relax and respond to emails

08:30 – Have a meeting, where you discuss cool business things and look important

10:00 – Your secretary reminds you of a lunch meeting at a fancy restaurant

12:00 – Discuss business over lobster and caviar at a five Michelin star restaurant

13:00 – Join your corporate pals for a game of golf where you discuss more business and count your money

17:00 – Make some telephone calls and look busy

18:00 – Head home to your mansion and your beautiful wife

See why progressives are so envious of this lifestyle and outraged at the injustice of capitalism? Corporate executives and businessmen get to enjoy a life of leisure and comfort while earning millions of dollars! How is that fair?? How come I don’t get to enjoy this lifestyle?? If they get to have this then everyone else should too! That’s fairness! This is why we need communism where everything is equal. Then I and others won’t have to feel inadequate and rotten about ourselves. It’s time to make the economy fair and equal once and for all so that we can all enjoy the lives we deserve, not just a few at the top!


It’s disgusting how the corporate ladder has been cut short for people of color, womyn, transgenders, and Polynesians.

Marinated Le Pen
Marinated Le Pen

A couple of those guys on the golf course are trending toward obesity. And if you have to count your money, are you really rich?
Bill Gates, who counts his money daily, looks mentally ill, and suffers from multiple other pathologies.

Make my votes count
Make my votes count

Least not forget how those guys got their jobs.
Have chauffeur drive you to private schools.
play soccer and croquet all day.
Return home and have nanny do your homework.
play video games.
Attend Prom parties.
Repeat until graduate HS and parents buy your way into elite college.
Join Fraternity.
Party and bang hot chicks until spring break arrives.
Party harder and bang different hot chicks.
Repeat until graduation.
Accept Job offer at Family owned company.
Start counting money.


Michelin is one to three stars, bud…they don’t just serve “lobster” like that. You’re going to get a prix-fixe menu or the chef’s menu, which will be a number of courses. The food looks like an art exhibit. In the US, you would only find a 3-star restaurant in NYC, Chicago, or SFO. Michelin only rates there and DC but DC does not have a 3-star rated establishment yet.


It’s also worth noting that these evil corporate CEO’s give a bad rap to our virtuous leaders that live similar life styles but have pure motivations like all our hollywood and media elites. These are people who deserve the lifestyle because they do wonderful things for others like tell them how bad they are, and how they should do nice things for others, and what is the correct way to think.


Private-sector executive pay is based on meritorious service. This explains why corporate executives never sleep or watch porn at work. On the other hand, government workers in each of the 33 layers of bureaucracy are glued to their screens watching porn (always with various lubricants nearby and both hands hidden under desks); often due to boredom while their supervisors sleep. Academics and researchers from Max Weber on down have proven these well-known phenomena.


So true. Executives NEVER get rewarded with golden parachutes after their company tanks and workers get fired. For example, Yahoo CEO Scott Thompson never received millions after being fired for fraudulent credentials and whatnot and having worked at Yahoo for only 4 months; Ina Drew, leader of JPMorgan Chase’s hedging unit never got a multi-million golden parachute after losing $3bn; and of course Marissa Myer never got many tens of millions after her tenure at Yahoo.


You forgot a few things in agenda of an executive –

14:00 Re-accommodating passengers from airplanes.
16:00 Sucking up to press and passenger when stock price drops by a billion.
17:00 Paying passenger off so that he would shut up.
18:00 Increasing personal bonus and firing employees to pay for money spent in lawsuit.
Edit: and one more occupation:
22:00 Paying off whatever politician is in power, in order to get tax breaks and government contracts.